Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

Okay, sure, that’s cool. Walk out of the room while I’m talking to you. Obviously my attempts at human connection fail and nothing I have to say is important.

I want to die. I don't want to stay at work but I can't go home because I need to try and catch up. Need to complete a certain amount of things before I'm caught up and I doubt I'll get it all done today but maybe by tomorrow

[Tigereyes]

Starting this day with fatigue level 8-9. I have so much to do, but I can't afford the time to rest. Not to mention, I'll get yelled at by my parents for hurting them by being lazy. They'll say to just have caffeine. As if that does't cause pain and other symptoms. Caffeine won't work anymore anyway. It's the only way to fake normal energy, but it only works short term.

[Enjoythis5]

What's the point of giving life any chances when all that happens is more tragic?!
God fucking... damnit!

I hate my anxiety. I am trying to manage it but it's a difficult thing to do.

My anxiety is so bad I want to fucking die!!

I should feel confident but I mostly just feel like something will go wrong and I won't get it.

[Tigereyes]

No clue how I will find the energy to move and clean the apartment with minimal help all this weekend. Not to mention, someone apparently left it worse than when I was last there, but I don't know how much worse. Could really use uppers.

I'm stressed

[Nala.]

I've felt tired for almost this whole day.

[Tigereyes]

This weekend was absolute hell, and I feel like I was run over by a truck. Phone interview this morning (probably?) That I'm not ready for, and I'm already too anxious to focus. I need to rest. Nope.

I'm not the greatest person and it shows

[Tigereyes]

I'm really losing hope fast. Not that I had much to begin with.

I have the desire to die. I hate myself. I hate who I am. I hate how I am. If I died I wouldn't have to feel this way.

[Celyn]

Kicking myself. I'm so stupid.

If they could notify me of the interview results that would be fucking awesome. I know it's going to be this week sometime but it would have been great if it'd been today.

[Tigereyes]

No more...

I'm going to kill myself.

I'm not going to be able to kill myself because it will destroy D and he's already struggling a lot. I want to be selfish but I can't

[Celyn]

I have a headache which shouldn't be a surprise given the warm weather but also because I cried myself to sleep last night. I just hate how everything is and feeling powerless to change much. None of it should've happened. I also feel ignored and I try reassuring myself but it's so difficult. I feel selfish and ungrateful. I feel like I'm ruining things. Ugh aches and pains.

My anxiety is making me so miserable.

[Tigereyes]

Fuck that bullshit. I'm not allowed to be exhausted after ANOTHER 12 hour day after 2 weekends of moving out of the apartment and cleaning the damn thing mostly myself with over full time hours monday through friday both weeks before? AND sleep deprivation? And a tonof other shit? AND no fucking support? I even tried to hide it from you, and you have no clue how horribly dependant on caffeine with protentiators I am. But it's all about who jas it worse to you. Fucking leave me alone. I can't wait to move out. If I'm alive long enough to get that chance. Bet that would shock you too. Even though it's so fucking obvious. Like no shit, of course I've been suicidal. Totally understandable. But that kind of self-validation I've struggled so hard to find is a huge part of the problem.

[Starseeker]

We've spent the whole night together. Are you gonna talk to me ever again? Will we get it all sorted one day?

I feel overwhelmingly anxious

Anxiety woke me up early

[Everglow.]

I'm so excited to start uni again, but what if I come out of it with another £10,000 of debt and still no clue about what I want to do with my life? What if I end up right where I am at the moment anyway?

My head hurts

[Everglow.]

Put myself in a shit mood again. I'm a waste of space and it's no wonder people would rather spend time with other friends.

Just shut up for a minute!

My head is killing me.

[Tigereyes]

This migraine is killer. On top of everything else.

I don't know how to think rationally right now. I am worried the job will fall through. I did this last year too. I signed paperwork. It's a done deal but I am still worried.


I am nuts

I didn't get to sleep in like I was hoping

[Tigereyes]

Tried something new to improve my shitty life and failed. So now I want to die even more.

[Celyn]

Anxiety making me feel dizzy.

It sucks that I know I am capable and yet there's that familiar feeling of worthlessness and how no-one is going to take me seriously. I know I won't be a 'success story' but I just want to do this?

I have a terrible headache and I know I shouldn't cancel my neurology appointment but I also don't want to miss work on my first few weeks

[Everglow.]

The loneliness is creeping back in again. I've been trying so hard to pick myself back up lately but this is the one thing that never ever goes away for good.

Well I fucked up. Maybe she didn't notice

I've been up since 445 and it kind of sucks

[Tigereyes]

Feeling worse every day. My body can't keep up. Doesn't matter how hard I try or how much caffeine I take. Nothing works. But clearly I'm faking my symptoms because I'm not quite sick enough (at least not with dangerous complications that require surgery) to be in the hospital right now.

Extreme anxiety hit. Extreme anxiety. I knew something was going to go wrong. Without the child development I have 22 units of soc/psy. I am just worrying over nothing