Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

If I could quit my job and still have everything I want I would. I can't. I might be able to get a new job but it'll have to be after I get my BA. That could mean another two years of this shit

[Tigereyes]

I don't have the energy for life. Sick yet again on top of everything else.

I don't want to die but I'm thinking how everything would be a whole lot less complicated if I died

[Tigereyes]

Do you still love me or am I just lying to myself about that too?

[Celyn]

I can't stop reading and overthinking. And I'm scared it's never going to stop. I have a headache and I'm tired.

Anxiety sucks!

[Everglow.]

Laying in bed unable to sleep because something doesn't feel right. I feel like something bad is happening. Feel like I'm disconnected and dissociated. I dont like this.

[Tigereyes]

I have a good plan and a date to do it. If it doesn't get better by then, which it won't, I'm ending it.

[Everglow.]

Felt really disconnected all day today. Really struggled at volunteering. Hope I sleep better tonight so I can shake it off.

[jujubi]

my god is a cruel one.....
we had less than 30 days. less than 30 days before I could finally see you and this happens. I'm trying not to show you how upset I am but I've already cried twice. I really do love you, you know.

I'm five seconds away from quitting.

I must be a fucking moron

[Tigereyes]

I'd be fucked up out of my mind right now if I didn't have work EARLY in the morning, since work went so late tonight.

I am worth more dead than alive

I'm not gonna be able to enjoy this weekend cause I am going to stress about work

[Everglow.]

Lifes just genuinely not fair. The nicest people in the world have to go through such horrid things.

I don't know what to do. This stress is killing me. Dreading going to work on Monday. Can't enjoy my weekend because I am stressing.

[Everglow.]

I feel like I can't talk about all of this and I don't know why.

I took a xanax for the first time in a few months because my anxiety is so damn high. If I still feel anxious at 3 I am going to take another one. I need to be able to get through this weekend in one piece.



I need to talk to my doctor about a higher dose of xanax or a different medication that works similarly.

[Everglow.]

I'm exhausted and feel down in the dumps after yesterday. Work is the last place I want to be right now.

[Everglow.]

I can feel myself slipping again and nobody cares about me as much as I care about them so honestly what's the point. I'm alone and I have nothing in common with anybody and I'm pathetic.

[Tigereyes]

If I have to be alive, why do I have to be sober?

[Everglow.]

I'm sick of being so lonely all the damn time

I wish I could quit. I know part of the stress is my fear of failing this class. I've worked so damn hard in the class. I just don't think all of its school. Hoping the news I heard about for my town will lead to job openings in the upcoming months or year.

[Tigereyes]

Each day that passes, there's just more and more reasons to kill myself..

I need someone to talk to and have no one.

If I tell my D that I'm thinking about cutting he will just text my dad and tell him to check on me.

If my dad finds out he will either get mad and say something sarcastic like 'Quit working if it's that bad' or he will get worried and tell me if things are that bad maybe I need to go back on ssi and I can't do that and get married.

I'm trapped and the only way I can think of to cope is to cut myself to Ribbons. Even if I had to go to the er they might not hold me for three days and if they did I might get out by Monday and no one would know.

I'm just feeling like I'm trapped and nothing matters.

Can't we just have one day without rain?

I don't want to go to work tomorrow

it would have been easier if he had just hit me instead. bruises fade, but the memory of his hands all over me won't stop playing over and over and over again. I just want it to S T O P.

I came home late because I didn't want you to see me carrying a bottle of wine into the house on a school night. Or the new scale I bought. or the laxatives. I don't want you to know that the money you're spending on therapy is going down the drain because I'm too fucked up to heal. sorry mom.

Please let me die.

[Everglow.]

Nobody cares about the things that make me happy. I dont know why I talk about them anymore

I spent 9 hours in the er due to a migraine induced by stress.

I have migraines everyday of my life but lately I've been feeling vertigo and nausea. This time those two things lasted 3 days.

The er was so packed they didn't check to make sure my migraine went away.

Fun fact it hasn't and I might not be able to go to work tomorrow

So tired, why did I sign on for extra hours. Ugh. Damn that illness taking up so much of my time.

Shit. I missed work and now might not be able to go on my trip.

Damn it.

I'm worried about the dizziness but they said it was fine. Not sure what to do.

Have to check tomorrow that I was given the two hours off on the 6th

I can't do this.

I truly don't want to do this

[Tigereyes]

Student loans due in 2 months. Still no job. No hope of getting one either.

[Everglow.]

Weird how hearing that someone you knew once has died. She was only 2 years older than me, and it's not even like we were friends, or she'd even know me in the street now. Just puts perspective on so many things.

Yay I get to end the day with a conference. I'm probably going to get told I'm not managing my time well enough even though I'm doing exactly what I'm told to do.

Well the conference was cancelled but my head is killing me and I kind of want to go home early.