Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Starseeker]

I don't know if fantasy has kept me alive, because books and games have always been an escape, or if it has ruined me, because through fantasy I know how boring my life in this world is. Had it not been my for my parents and family, I would be long dead. I know it may sound really ungrateful, but sometimes I prefer they just... weren't there. Not dead. Just not there. So that I could peacefully fade away.

[Odyne]

Why did you move in next to us?!

[Celyn]

Cold, shivery, cramps, feel sick. Don't know what I'm doing.

I am struggling this morning.

[Starseeker]

I want to cry. I don't know why I'm doing anything, I don't even know what I'm doing. I want to cry. I want to die!!!

[Tigereyes]

I really need to be alone but I also need a friend even more..

[Tigereyes]

Why is suffering always a fucking competition>?????? I want to fucking die if it's only going to get even worse so stop fucking saying that or I might actually go through with it.

[Tigereyes]

How do you stick with recovery when sobriety is worse than relapse?

[Starseeker]

I have to go to school tomorrow. Seems like a nightmare. I feel my mind fighting to stay home, but it's as if kept in a cage of my body, which won't listen. My body will go and my mind will have to suffer. How horrible.

I can't handle this anxiety!!!

[Kate*]

I can't remember if I took it or not, but I've only forgotten one other time and it didn't do anything to me. Better safe than sorry.

I'm struggling so much today.

[Starseeker]

..........

I feel so anxious and I hate it!!

[Starseeker]

I'm so afraid of everything. Of life. Of what I should achieve but I'm not going to. Of other people, of being judged by no one but myself, of... the world, it seems, and the atrocious way it works.

Unless I could be one of those badass characters in books and games, who begin as gifted but defiant youth, live through countless adventures and learn wisdom from the wiser to become the wisest in the end, I am content with only following these characters' stories. But I want nothing more demanded from me and that's the fucking problem.

I'm panicking

[Starseeker]

I'm going to an escape room tomorrow. As if this alone wasn't enough for me to freak out, it's gonna be a horror one, Jesus fucking Christ, what was I thinking when I agreed on that shit? I'm panicking so much now...

Feeling like binge eating

And the anxiety hits.

Omg I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this.

[Tigereyes]

I have next to no support. It's only going to keep getting worse. I see no hope for me. I'll never be okay again. I wish I had just killed myself already. It'd be better for everyone if I had never been born because my failed efforts just hurt everyone I love. I'm sorry.

I feel like I don't matter.
I feel stupid.
I feel like I am terrible person.

[Starseeker]

school tomorrow. FUCKING AGAIN FUCKING NO


my Dad's a jerk

Feeling like binge eating

[MWF]

How the hell am I supposed to get a job out of college if they all require prior experience? Thats why I need a job in the first place.

All that anxiety for absolutely nothing.

[Everglow.]

Can't stop crying.

I'm so overwhelmed.

[Starseeker]

ive been told high school's supposed to be the best time of my life, well fuck no it's like the worst so what are the other parts gonna be like? not sure if i wanna check that myself to be honest

I screwed up. Hopefully I don't get fired for this.

Everything makes me worried I'm gonna get fired but this worries me most.

Second guessing that job I applied for. I said I wouldn't like it cause I'd be on graveyard shift etc but I think I'm going to go for it and if I get an interview I'm going to ask all my questions.

What shifts are available
What is expected of us on the job

It's more money any might not be as stressful as this. It might be worse but it can't hurt to go for it can it?

[Kate*]

I feel like I should take extra hours, especially now that it's so slow, but the times you want me, I don't want. I would much rather do a short shift on my day off than extend a 5 to an 8, especially on a weekend I know I don't have to, but I kind of do. I really wish you had offered it next week when you cut me by a whole day. I really have to think about this.

I feel like I am going to break

I wish I could have called in sick today but it would have made tomorrow worse.

[Starseeker]

why is my father destroying my life?

I shouldn't have come in today.

[Tigereyes]

Why the fuck am I still alive? Why can't I just die already?

[Kate*]

The more I think about 2 extra hours at work tomorrow, the less I want to do them. It's not a weekend, it's not 3, and this is our slowest time. Hopefully, tacking one on at the beginning and one at the end will help it not be so bad and if she is there, she should be gone and I'll have instructions. I hate needing overrides, but I would've needed them anyway. And YES this was manager approved. He said if I waned to come in early either tomorrow or Saturday, "feel free" so I'm coming in an hour early and leaving an hour late. But I swear, if you give me any hassle or I end up bored, I won't help you out again.

I am tempted to ditch the pot luck tomorrow.


I will bring the items I said I would and then just leave and go sit in my car. These pot lucks throw me off because I don't get to de-stress for an hour. I have to interact and do stuff I have no desire to do.

[Tigereyes]

In six months, I will either have to live with abuse again or be homeless.. can't fucking wait.

So tired of being me. I wish I can press reset.

Please let the Xanax kick in so I can go out tomorrow