Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Tigereyes]

This caffeine isn't working anymore, regardless of how much I take. Just putting off withdrawals at this point. But I need it to work because school is impossible without it.

Who'd care if I died. Seems like mostly no one

[Kintsukuroi.]

So uncomfortable.

[Starseeker]

I hate this fucking Maths. No matter how much work I put into it, I can't grasp even the basics. It's constantly looming over me and I hate it. I hate the lessons and all the exercises and whatever fucking else and it all makes me sick.

[Tigereyes]

Last day of this insanity. Just got craziness that follows for the next couple weeks. Then I get to figure out how to deal with all this grief and trauma before it makes me relapse or kill myself. No clue how to do that. No clue how I'm supposed to fix everything I've ruined. I'm still not sure I can make it. And that's if I survive today.

Woke up anxious. Wish I could fall back to sleep.

[Kate*]

Had to take my break before I killed someone. Thank God I'm off for 2 days and done in 83 minutes.

Why does it feel like no one gives a damn

[Starseeker]

why would i prefer to disappear from this world than go to school tomorrow

I'm such a bitch

[Celyn]

Didn't sleep again. Headache and tired.

[Tigereyes]

School still sucks and it still makes me want to die or drop out every minute that I am still forced to suffer because I'm still alive. Fuck this lab report with these made up calculations and my prof being fucked up on or coming down from uppers all the damn time.

I feel so broken this week.

It's Wednesday so hopefully the week flies by.

[Tigereyes]

I'll never make it through this semester. Might as well end it. It won't get better. Supposed to do grad school after this. Fuck that. Fuck school. It's about pushing students til they make it or die trying. Guess I'm goign to die trying. Lets just hope the dying part happens soon already because I'm sooooo done with this fucking bullshit. It hasn't gotten better. It never will.

[Tigereyes]

Another day of the same old.

Today needs to end

[Everglow.]

There's a stock take on my day off and they want me in at 6:30pm to help when it takes me an hour and a half to get there. Not going to be impressed if they make me go because I know a certain member of staff will find her way out of it like she does everything and I'll probably have to go anyway.

[Tigereyes]

My best just isn't good enough for anything for anyone. So why bother? Why keep trying if I already know I'll fail? Why not just end it now? That's all I've wanted for years. The question is why haven't I yet.

I'd love for this day to end already

[nothereanymore]

I bet I look fucking ridiculous to him. Jesus.

I'm going to get fired.

[London_grace]

Why are people stupid and rude to you?

I have no desire to go to work. At least we are having a Potluck on Wednesday. Means it will probably be a decent day.

[Tigereyes]

Need to work faster and faster but still too slow make it stop. I can't think.

[Tigereyes]

Why am I even trying to force myself to stay alive again? Too bad I can't remember.

I woke up so damn anxious today and it hasn't really gotten any better.

[Tigereyes]

I'm considering relapsing tonight because I can't fucking take this bullshit anymore and it's that or kill myself.

It's Halloween evening and I am feeling anxious. I don't want anyone to knock or ring my door. Got all the lights shut off.

If I died I don't think anyone would care.


I am unimportant and i don't contribute much to the world.


Failure

I really don't want to do this today.

I hope that I can make it through the fucking day. Anxiety is a bitch.

[Tigereyes]

Prof just fucking added 4 old prelab quizzes all due by next lab because he didn't have his shit together. Fuck this. I don't have time for this. I would pay someone to kill me.

Have to get through an 8 hour day and all I want to do is go back to bed.

[Everglow.]

My whole body hurts and I'm so tired.

No I don't want to go to work. I really really do not.

[Starseeker]

there is escape from everything but my mind, and my mind is exactly what I need to run away from

[Tigereyes]

Caffeine tolerance has gone through the roof

[London_grace]

Feel like giving into binge eating

[Kate*]

I would love to try a yoga class, but every single one conflicts with work. Meant to do it this week while I was off, but it didn't happen.

Had another crappy night's sleep. This is the third day in a row.

Paralyzed by anxiety