Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Tigereyes]

I can't go on like this anymore.

[Starseeker]

What is life without a shard of enjoyment in anything I do or in any second that passes? Is it anything more than a mutation, a flawed element that never should have entered this world?

I keep thinking that I deserve to be dead.
I also keep wondering if it's depression that makes reading difficult. I go from one book and another without ever finishing them.

[Kate*]

My complete lack of expected emotion is freaking me out. This wasn't the funeral I expected not to cry at and she wasn't the loss I expected not to grieve, but here we are. Could be meds, could be frustration, could be that we were as ready she was for her to go.

[nothereanymore]

nothing like finding instant aesthetic attraction to someone and getting home and looking in the mirror and knowing there’s no way they’d ever ever ever find you attractive

[Tigereyes]

Stop saying I can do it! I can't fucking do it! Maybe that's why I'm fucking panicking about not being able to handle all this! I can't do it anymore. Why can't everyone just listen and validate my feelings instead of trying to give me inspirational bullshit as if I just need fucking motivation and this isn't fucking unreasonable. You have no fucking idea what it's like. You haven't experienced even a quarter of this. I'm so done. I really wish I could take something for this panic, but I can't treat my anxiety with benzos, so there's nothing to help enough.I'm at a loss. I really just want to end it. And maybe I will. Because 85% of my entire fucking insanity semester is due in 2.5-4 weeks and I'm way far behind with no hope of getting caught up.

I'm kind of anxious about today.

[Tigereyes]

Need to push myself to go to a class despite being horribly sick because fuck disability services

[Kintsukuroi.]

So much crap has happened these last few months and I'm done.

I have no desire to go to work. Struggling a lot with everything going on in the media. I'm stupid got letting it bother me

[nothereanymore]

For one reason or another, I hate being in my room. 24/7. I can’t stand it in here. Fucking nice.

[Tigereyes]

Only a few more weeks or so before I can maybe take a single day off to let myself be sick. Until then it's 10-12 hours per day, 7 days a week. MINIMUM. My body won't do it, but I have to otherwise I'll fail multiple classes. Must be thst I'm lazy though. Not because I'm really sick and even healthy people would be super overwhlemed by this. Yet they say "same" and "you can do it!" Fucking stop with that bullshit. I'm trying not to die. But x wasn't good enough and I should've put more time into it. Fuck off.

I wish I could get this sadness to disappear

[nothereanymore]

I’m tired of being ignored and constantly guilt tripped by you.

[Everglow.]

Haven't seen another human in nearly 2 days

Go to hell

[Everglow.]

Just thought about how I only have 3 days left until I go back to work and I'm feeling stressed and unhappy already. I honestly hate my life.

[Tigereyes]

Fuck recovery. I can't get better regardless of how hard I try. Maybe it's because I'm nothing but a failure after all.

I feel like it would be better if I died.

[MWF]

I can't see any scenario in life where I get in a relationship. It seems completely impossible.

[Everglow.]

Woken up feeling really low. Don't want to get out of bed.

[Tigereyes]

I'm so sick, but also not quite sick enough to be in the hospital and get the extensions I need...

Anxiety is making me sick.

[Everglow.]

I hate myself. Everyone would have a better time if I wasn't around.

[Tigereyes]

No fuckign energy just putting me furhter behind i want to die. Whu didnt i just kill myself 4 yrs ago

I do not want to do this shit today!

Not sure how I'm going to keep up.

[Everglow.]

I ruin everything for everyone and they'd all enjoy their time more if it wasn't for me. I should disappear. Everyone would be happier and nobody would care.

Pretty sure I messed up

[Tigereyes]

I feel like no one understands me..

[Everglow.]

Another sleepless night. Hearing weird noises and panicking. Wish someone was awake to talk to I'm scared and idk why

[Kate*]

I love my new furbaby, but I need sleep!

[Everglow.]

So tired I nearly missed my station on the train. Meeting after work too so not even going to be able to chill at home until about 9 today. Already had enough.

[Unidentified~Unicorn]

I can't turn to ANYONE without one person or another getting triggered and mad.

[Tigereyes]

This is actually impossible... There's no way out.

[Kate*]

You'd better not bitch at me for being off one of my meds when I see you next week, because by that time I will have called you at least twice to fix the fact that I have RUN OUT of them. This one is on you!

[nothereanymore]

I wish I had parents that supported me and siblings that protected me.

[Tigereyes]

Not at all ready for this exam that's in less than 2 hours.. And I'm panicking too much to study. And I haven't studied enough because of exhaustion and anxiety because I can't get enough done because I'm too sick but no one cares.

Today is Friday and I really wish I could have stayed home and slept in.

[Everglow.]

Feel completely drained. Back is hurting, 10 hours of sleep and three cups of coffee down and I feel no better. I wish I could disappear.

[Tigereyes]

Living off of caffeine pills and sugar to maybe barely get by... Getting more and more side effects. Starting to get chest pain and getting brief occasional visual and tactile hallucinations. I'm accidentally tearing at my skin because I'm so itchy from the caffeine.
Way behind on sleep too. I'm so dead I can't function. Too bad. I'll rest when I'm dead. Maybe literally..
Oh and tomorrow won't be any better.