Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Kate*]

I guess that's how you keep us stuck? I didn't know to check for that, and even if I did, it's in the fine print! I guess I'll be stuck here a lot longer than I thought.

[Everglow.]

I'm actually so gutted I have to work. The thought of it is making me want to cry.

I'm struggling so much.
Woke up with a stress headache

[Unidentified~Unicorn]

Okay all I want is to be part of your life. I just want to be with you, but like you don't. You say you love me, but is it love if you just want me to go? Is it love to give me back your matching necklace? To not even approach me? I'm sorry that I hurt you. I just can't handle a relationship rn.

[Tigereyes]

AND add cramps to the mix of feeling like shit. At least I can force myself to work through pain level 7-8.

Next week is going to suck. Just gotta get through today and then I get a break.

[Tigereyes]

So horribly sick in so many ways but I just have to push through it because school doesn't stop or care that I'm sick. And people wonder why I pushed through it right before I ended up in the hospital last time.

I am probably going to freak out about that all weekend.

[Starseeker]

I've finished the book I'd been reading for the past two or three weeks. It had such a huge emotional influence on me... I was supposed to go ice-skating today with a friend for the first time after summer holidays, but I had to call it off because I just couldn't gather enough strength to get up.

[Everglow.]

I'd rather be anywhere but work. I'm starting to really hate that place.
And my manager is too cocky and won't listen when I need him to. I'm starting to give up.

[Kate*]

8 hours tomorrow, I'm going to get so BORED. No, I didn't "redo" them, but they look better and I put out all the stuff that shouldn't have been pulled in the first place (not by me).

[nothereanymore]

I deserve every bit of pain I feel because I’m a horrible person. Unreliable. Not giving.

I’m a failure of a human being. A waste of time, money, and space.

Your words don’t ring true in your actions.

[Kate*]

9-5 Sunday on no sleep, this should be fun. Mayne I'll have time for coffee.

[nothereanymore]

Number of people who have my books sitting in their inbox: >50
Number of people who have read my books in the FOUR YEARS since I completed the first version: <10

That number does not include my parents, my sister, or anyone I’ve ever dated.

P S fucking A: don’t tell someone you give a shit if you don’t.

[nothereanymore]

You’d care if it affected you. But because it’s me and it has nothing to do with you, you don’t.

[Tigereyes]

Pushing myself too hard just makes me sick, but I don't get enough done if I don't push myself too hard.. They say to just take more, longer breaks, but then I don't have enough time in the day, so I have to sacrifice sleep, which makes everything so much worse.

My anxiety is sky high. Dreading work and wish I could have just gone in at 8am instead of putting it off.

[Starseeker]

im wasting my best years on being depressed and making my family sick with worry

[Everglow.]

I feel like I'm slowly giving up

I'm tired of being treated like shit because you're having a bad day. Fucking don't become a mentor if you can't handle it.

I'm doing the best that I can. This is a lot to learn and take in and I've only been here for three months. They say it takes a goddamn year to fucking learn and I get treated like shit every day.

If you're stressed step down.

[Starseeker]

i dont feel like bearing the fucking life anymore...

You're one of the shittiest doctors I've ever had.

How am I going to cope with this? I'm falling apart inside...

[nothereanymore]

Not enough acetaminophen to help the headache but enough aspirin to make me feel sick. NICE.

[Tigereyes]

Maybe it doesn't get better..

Really don't want to go today
Just have to get through
I have no choice

[Kate*]

I really feel like we are supposed to get another cat, I don't know how to explain it, but I feel like we are. But, now that I've pretty much convinced her, despite her saying she would NEVER get another one, I'm not sure. Our last fur baby left us in April after almost 17 years. Are we moving on too fast? Is it disrespectful to him? Is a new one going to make me miss him more? I really want a snuggle buddy, but could I handle saying goodbye again? Why am I afraid something will be wrong with them and they'll leave us too soon? Maybe we shouldn't, but I still really want one.

Why are some people such fucking assholes?! Who are you to question why I was given a job or to judge me for complaining about PEOPLE LIKE YOU treating me like SHIT for things I have ZERO control over.

I don't think it's the med issue or that (which isn't helping), I just really don't feel like work today. And people need to STOP MAKING NOISE!

I wish I were dead. I wish my mind weren't so fucked up

[Kate*]

Why is that request still pending, you've had 2 days to deal with it now. Apparently I have to call their office, explain the situation, and hope for the best.

So DON'T want to do this!

[Everglow.]

I've been at work 20 mins..it isn't even my shift yet and I have a thumping headache. Gonna be a good day.

Nightmare that I pushed him so far away that he left. I hate myself for being scared of that.

I hate myself for being scared.

[Tigereyes]

Why did we have to have that story assigned? That was too much for me to handle. Too much on death. Too close to me. Too close. I didn't need a graphic description of that. It's gonna stay in my head, but I've got so much more to do; I don't have time for the grief that's still with me. I can't do this. I want to cry, but I don't have time to get sucked into it and upset. I need to focus. I'm really not okay. I can't talk to anyone about it. I've never felt so alone.

[Kate*]

Okay, it was a technical issue, but you'd better take care of this today because I'm still out of the medication and 2 doses away from withdrawal! And it better not happen again!

I wish yesterday had been Friday

[Everglow.]

She cancelled the open day to work and I said it was fine but it isn't.
Literally who cares anyway it's not like I'll ever amount to anything is it.

[Tigereyes]

As long as I work on school stuff AT LEAST 12 hours per day, 7 days a week, and am extremely productive every hour that I work on stuff, I might have a chance at surviving this semester. Oh and I have to keep that pace up for the next month and a half. Kill me please.

[Thinking]

its almost 6 AM and i cant sleep. Very well.

I'm insignificant. Unimportant. If I weren't here who'd even care

Panicking. I do not want to impulsively send them another message like I did last October. I need Google to cooperate. Panicking, can't breathe, shaking, sweating. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

ETA: Apparently there was a terrorist attack in Iran. Wonder why Google wasn't showing that......

[Kate*]

[size="2"]If you don't want it to look like shit, don't come on a fucking weekend.

I really hope you don't have the authority to fire me./SIZE]

[Starseeker]

i don't want to go to school i don't want to go to school i don't want to go to school