Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

I can't do anything right. There is so much stuff I want to do, but I know very well that they will never come to fruition. No one wants me to succeed. They would rather belittle, bully, undermine me, and overall, make me feel like a nobody. I'll never get married or have kids or experience alot of things most people experience before they are an adult (for example, first kiss, first relationship, etc.).

One day it will become too much and I will reach my breaking point.....

My breathing has been bad the past few days and it's annoying because I have to start working on Monday. I am worried it will get in the way of me doing a good job.

[Everglow.]

I need to break now.
Why is my threshold for stress so high. I need a good cry and a good sleep and then I'll be ok but I can't get either of them so I'm left feeling drained and snappy.

I am pretty sure my anxiety is going to keep getting worse up until Monday. I knew this would happen which is why I ended up doing what I could to get things done before the weekend! At least I have my psychiatrist appointment on the 1st.

[Kate*]

The extra time isn't getting me any further, so either it's getting worse, or I'm moving slower.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

No matter what I do or how hard I try, everything I touch just falls apart.

Anxiety is high right now.
I know what the trigger is and all that will fix it is time.
Time to realize things won't be as overwhelming as I fear but what if they are? What if I fail

[Gwynbleidd]

Forgot to put hours in right for next week, fuck graduation and practice cant work as much and im not even graduating this year. So less hours less money, fuck me. Now my brain is being an asshole I want to stop thinking about her. I was fucking fine, now its back again. I don't care about her truly its just because I'm lonely and my brain is trying to find any cheap remedy, even such as going back to that bitch. Best part is work training with her next week. Then I have the SAT this weekend. I'm ready to fucking leave, I'm tired of this shitty town and just about everyone in it.

The closer I get to working the more unhealthy my ED voice gets.
I keep hearing a voice reminding be how much weight I could lose if I just skip a few meals.
It worked in the past ... but look what that accomplished? I got really sick and no one would take it seriously.

[Kate*]

2 shifts down, 3 to go including a Saturday, then I FINALLY get to see my therapist, get a break, and go back to short shifts.

I don't miss 6 hour shifts one bit,this week is dragging like crazy!

I don't know why I can't be normal. Things are going well and I had a suicidal thought. I started thinking it would have been better if I hadn't reacted so quickly to that event.

[Gwynbleidd]

Get out of my head. Get. Out. Of. My. Head. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!

I think I might be getting sick. That's a great day to end the week since I start work the 4th and cannot miss the first 2 days

I need to be okay with asking questions and turning something down if it doesn't end up working. I don't actually need it.

[Kate*]

Good news: I did my computer training
Bad news: It put me SERIOUSLY behind going into the weekend. And I want chips, but no one uses the vending machine and I'm afraid it's broken

I am scared. Something is wrong but I don't know what

[London_grace]

I hate everything right now!

[Kate*]

Take off the merchandise you aren't supposed to try on, get out of the stock you aren't supposed to be ransacking, get off your fucking phone, and parent your God damn, running, screaming, and climbing children. What the fuck is WRONG with people?!

I paid my insurance early and paid off my second loan, but it's going to be tight for awhile. I still have a cushion, but not much of one. I did factor in my insurance payment first though

I feel dizzy and sick to my stomach. The world is crashing around me. I am worried that you are sick. I am worried that my life will never be the same. I realize this is irrational thinking

I wish you would talk to me about what is going on. I don't get this behavior

[Lunar]

I hate the fact that you're sitting here judging me. You have no right. You aren't better than me. You have no idea.

[Everglow.]

Think I'm finally reaching breaking point. I'm either going to crumble or explode soon and I don't know how to stop myself. Shit.

I cried because of the number on the scale, surprisingly never done that before. I’m not sending the weekly check in and meal log to my therapist. She’ll think I’m relapsing (which I totally am, but I can’t see her in person for awhile so what’s the point of telling her now? I might as well get skinny again first).

I hate people so damn much.


Certain degrees shouldn't be offered if there are no guarantees for money. DUDE really? Like, those degrees you are talking about are degrees that can offer a ton of money. The issue is the USA has a stupid education system and they require a shit ton of education....you have to go get a masters. In other countries a counseling degree is way fucking different, for example.

[Kate*]

The last 10 minutes on the Saturday of a 27.5 hour week, seconds after I found the full to the gills cart of crap I was supposed to put away while dealing with the table from hell and trying to finish it before leaving was the WRONG time for my manager to ask how I was! But, I've technically only complained twice in 10 months, and one of them was extremely reasonable, so they could hold it against me, but I'm guessing they won't.

[nothereanymore]

I will forever be angry that I was the one who got the call, that I was alone, and my dad hung up on me when I called and told him. I get that he was panicking but he couldn’t make sure I was okay? He had to hang up and leave me by myself?
you had to get high as hell and get in your car and kill my sister?

In restless and just want to get the shopping done

[Everglow.]

2.5 hours to get home today. I can't keep doing this I cant.

I have to stay up till 930 or 10 so I don't wake up too early since I have work.

[nothereanymore]

Just when I start getting tired (four hours too late) there’s a whole bunch of noise in the house. Nice.

Panicking a bit. I am sure it will be fine. I won't be late but should I bring the lunch box?

[Everglow.]

I've wound myself up and I don't know what about.
Snap out of it.

I'm bored. I want to do something and be active.

^ I agree, and I would like to add that I am tired as well.

[Tigereyes]

What if the only reason I want to keep fighting is so that I don't keep hurting you by hurting myself?

[Everglow.]

I really don't want to go to work tomorrow.

Do I even matter?

[Tigereyes]

I can't fucking make myself see anything good about myself! Trying to force that when I hate everything about myself just makes me hate myself more for not being able to see what you think I should be able to see. I'm not good enough for recovery.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

What is it about me that guys do not like? Am I that ugly, fat, and disgusting? I am the ugliest, fattest, and most disgusting creature on this planet Earth.

[pastlifepoet]

Ok my turn

I know you were lying about who you were talking to and I wasn't angry. Despite all the hurt you don't even know you've caused, I forgive you, but I'm disappointed that you left thinking I didn't know the truth. It makes me wonder, what else didn't I know?