Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Lunar]

I hate the fact that I can't get any help around here. It makes me so angry! I ask, yet my voice has fallen on deaf ears. UGH.

[Everglow.]

My mouth hurts and I really really don't want to go to the dentist.

[Tigereyes]

It hurts that you can't trust me anymore, but I guess I deserve this. Yet you don't want me to hide how I feel. But how I feel contributes to these problems. So I guess I just need to stop feeling anything at all. I'm trying.

I am feeling like I should be dead.
I know this is anxiety but how do I cope without unhealthy means.

[Kate*]

You are one of my favorite family members, but I resent the shit out of you for the way you're handling this. If you're so G-d damn worried about her, you can adjust your schedule and take care of her yourself instead of deciding that just because she's closer and retired, she's able and willing to drop everything because you want her checked up on when you are more than capable of dealing with her yourself!

[Tigereyes]

Finals are killing me. I took a practice test for my exam tomorrow morning and was failing so badly I gave up halfway though. Been studying so hard for this class for the past WEEK and now it's too late and I'm just going to fail either way, so why bother trying. I'm hoping I have a heart attack from all the caffeine and stress so that maybe I can get out of this shit. I just want to quit. I hate myself. This class makes me hate myself more. I want to make this stop. I can't get high because I need to try not to fail even though I basically already have, and now I WILL have a panic attack during the test tomorrow, so if I wasn't going to fail before, now I definitely will. Wish I could get some anxiety meds so I don't, but I can't. Wish I could have my painkillers so that I don't care about failing. Wish I could hurt myself to punish myself for failing since I can't make myself not care.

[nothereanymore]

Wooow I feel like I’m in high school all over again. Take your own notes and learn this shit yourself because you’re training too. And I won’t be able to help you when we get onto the floor. Stop copying off my notes. I’m literally hearing and seeing the same shit you are.

My anxiety is bad and I can't sleep. F**k. I know it will get better after I find out about the other job.

My anxiety calmed down for a bit and now it's back so that's cool. I hate hate hate anxiety. At least I have therapy today.

[Everglow.]

Literally HOW do you forget you're serving someone and then start serving someone else right next to them? Like ok shit happens but then you said it wasn't you when he had pointed you out. Take some responsibility for what you Do! I'm so so so tired of having mountains to do while you're chilling out ignoring customers..having attitude and passing off all your complaints to me. It is NOT my job to run around after you and you'll be missing out when I'm gone.

[Kate*]

Obviously, it's not that I don't have it, it's just hard to come by for toxic, abusive, or angry people. I think that's probably somewhat normal. So, why did it destroy things for me that other people can have. And why is it that after I make the appointment to talk about it, I realize this?!

The closer it gets to June the more nervous I get.

[TraitorBaby]

Whooooop all nighter
I might just have 3am brain but whoopdifreaking do my homeworks done and i have no friends. I have. No. Friends.
Also why the fuck can't I just watch a movie? Why's it always gotta trigger me? Why can't I be happy with two siblings loving each other, why does that feel so wrong to me? Why can't I watch a strained relationship between parents and kids without doubling overon,the inside?
Oh fuck it you know why.
Ugggggghhhhhh
I need my boy to come save me.

[Kate*]

I was hoping that turning 30 would be like a fresh start after everything I've been through, and I definitely think it still can be, but it started off triggering all kinds of crap instead. I thought I was over at least most of this! UGH

[Clarent]

Lost a lot of money due to being stupid and letting a charity get too much/basically got robbed.

Fuck my life.

I feel terrible

[Starseeker]

Why do I always have to be so sad/angry/absent-minded/whatever after I meet with my long-time-no-see friends? Fuck! Always the same old story!

I'm pretty worthless

I'm so sad and upset. Not sure why though

[Gwynbleidd]

I took my exams why do I still have to go to class?! I wish I was graduating this year

[London_grace]

I hate you!

[Tigereyes]

Why is everyone lying to me???

[Kate*]

It's easy: NO ONE wants to deal with her. The later they go, the sooner they can get the hell out and back to the lives they get to have. If their behavior matters to you so much, you should just be glad they showed up at all! You're the only one still trying because you're holding on to an ideal that will NEVER happen LET IT GO!

If I drained my bank account, I could pay off my second loan and I'd get paid again in 3 days, but I can't afford to do that. So close and yet so far.

[Tigereyes]

Fuck sobriety. If this is what it's gonna be like, I don't want it. Unfortunately my only friends are also in recovery so I'll lose them if I "go back out."

[Lunar]

I know that at the end of the day you still live in my town, and you're still around. Just know your place.

[Starseeker]

And now I don't even know if it's such a bad allergy or I'm just sick. Geez.

[Clarent]

please let me die.

i cant take this atmosphere anymore

just let it go.

theres no point for me hanging around.

i change nothing and achieve nothing.

im nobody.

I just got dizzy all of a sudden. Not sure if it's the heat or that I have been dealing with a headache today.

All remnants of energy just evaporated. Ready to sleep!

[Everglow.]

Having to cover at another store today which means getting a train out of London. Tiny bit anxious about this but my manager asked so nicely. Hate travelling alone..

[London_grace]

I'm tried. Everyone is driving me crazy.

[Everglow.]

4 hours travelling...8 hour shift...im exhausted.

I am feeling overwhelmed. So many good things are happening and I am still overwhelmed

[Gwynbleidd]

The benefits are so far away, I wanna go and break the rules, even though I feeling somewhat better. Just a lil peak, but no I will not. I will stay strong. It is just tough though considering I've done it atleast once every 4 days since I was 9. I will make it!

[Kate*]

Thank God I only have one day left before I get 3 days off because I'm about to fucking LOSE it! How hard is it to WATCH WHERE YOU'RE WALKING with things and FUCKING MOVE?!

And adding to my last two rough days, the schedule is late again, but at least this time I'm not convinced I've been fired without being told.

[Lumos.]

I'm headed downhill. I don't know how to handle anything, I don't have a therapist, and I don't feel that I can talk to my fiance about things anymore. maybe I am better off dead. this life isn't worth it I'm in so much physical pain that all of this emotional pain is far too much. fuck this. i want to die at this point

Please let things go smoothly. I am so damn anxious right now!!!!

[Kate*]

Please tell me I'm going to get the day off that I asked for. I really need this one. I've never been denied before, but they're usually approved by now too.

[Everglow.]

I feel disgusting and fat today.
Don't ask me my clothing size. Please.

Not sure why I try to be honest! I hate this. I hate everything.



This is just my anxiety. Going to go out and do something nice at 11. Just have to make it till then.