Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[MWF]

I've failed ALL of my exams. Fuck.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

You seriously need help. If making me feel like shit and bullying me makes you feel all good, then you need to reevaluate your life and choices.

So sick of all these storms, and of winter in general. It's so hard to remain positive and productive when weather keeps getting in the way!

I am stuck with you
I misread everything and an hurting again

You used me

I went to the ED support group again. I was between a woman with anorexia and a woman with bulimia and I’m so much bigger than both of them. I was talking with someone after and she was surprised when I said I’m anorexic, she thought I was bulimic. I’m not skinny enough to be anorexic. I need to get my weight down again before I can get help. I can’t be anorexic at this weight and I don’t deserve help if I’m not sick.

[Everglow.]

I miss my manager! Don't like change and everyone at work is so stressed because he's gone. Not confident in the new manager at all. Maybe time to look at a transfer...

You played mind games and u want to call you out on it but it's pointless. Fuck you!

[Lunar]

I'm so frustrated that I still have to hear about you! I just want you out of my life.

I'm so sick and I have an interview next week.

I'm also pissed that you played me. You saw my vulnerability. I might go out Thursday but depending on you being there or not I'll leave.

You're a fucking dick.

[Kate*]

It's sad that we have to wait for you to die to get our lives back. Considering that you brought most of your problems on yourself, I don't see why we have to suffer too.

I don't deserve love.

[Everglow.]

I'm so tired. Not just in terms of sleep, but tired of my life. I'm so bored of the same boring routine every week, I NEED something to motivate me because I'm losing interest in everything again.
So sick of everything.

I want to self harm but I can't.
Not even sure I can keep myself safe either.
What am I going to do?
How am I going to keep myself safe?
Would one small cut really hurt? It isn't hard to avoid the hospital and stitches.

[Kate*]

I wish I could do that and find a job in it, but it'll probably never happen.

[Everglow.]

Feel like shit and my manager has demoted me to receptionist today so I have nothing to make the day pass faster. Genuinely had enough.

My head hurts. Took medication that probably won't help.

My boyfriend and I were going to spend the day together after about 3-4? I also had to go get an undershirt.

I hope I feel better later so we can still spend time together and I can get that shirt and the package sent off.

I'm tried. Been having trouble sleeping.

[Kate*]

Yes, after over 6 months of being one of the two of us that works every singe weekend while the others get every single one off, working extra shifts whenever you need me, and anything else you ask me to do, I admitted to having less than a perfect day near the end of my shift on a Saturday. I'm pretty sure that's okay. What are you going to do about it?!

Things like that from you are like getting slapped in the face with it all over again. They said and did the SAME things to me, but I didn't overcome and get the dream like you did. They DESTROYED ME and not because I chose for them to.

[Celyn]

Tired, headache and cold. Can't be bothered for tomorrow. Can't really think of the future anymore, just taking things day by day. Ugh.

[Lunar]

I hate that I've been dealing with this without any help. I've been pressured in to being quiet about it and i'm tired of that.

[Kate*]

STOP pulling this "I work, you don't, which means I have a life and you don't so you have to pick up my slack!" BULLSHIT. When she was your age she dealt with A LOT more than you are now, and she STILL did more than you do now. And before you use the distance as your next excuse: NO ONE FORCED you to move 45 minutes away. I always said you two fighting would be the end of this family and it looks like I'm right!

[Everglow.]

Seriously struggling at the moment. Urges are so strong.
I'm really trying.

[Lunar]

I'm so ready for this back injury to heal!! I'm so tired of being in pain.

[TraitorBaby]

So alone. So scared. Can't sleep. Need a way out. I just want to feel safe...and loved....

[Celyn]

Feel sick. Hope I don't get another headache.

Tired today!

[Lunar]

I hate that because of you I have this unspoken stigma surrounding my health problems. I wish I would have never met you.

You know you need to make phone calls and work on your projects. Why aren't you doing those things?

Just don't know anymore.

[Kate*]

Had a nonstop headache and nausea for no reason 3 days straight now. Not sick enough to be sick, but too sick to be normal.

Okay, I REALLY hope that it goes in monthly and that's why it's still showing a zero balance. I should've started coming out 2 days ago.

[TraitorBaby]

4am and I'm awake AGAIN. motherfucker.

[Kate*]

I know once I get to work I'll be fine, but I don't want to go!

I would LOVE an appointment soon, or at least some time this century, but considering that it STILL isn't fixed, it probably won't happen.

[Lunar]

I wish I had more energy to be able to do more around the house. I'm in hopes that I will be able to find a way around this.

[Tigereyes]

There's no fucking way out! Why do they always make it so just one fucking test grade ruins your entire fucking grade for the entire fucking semester and fucks up the major gpa you worked so fucking hard to unfuck after all the chemistry requirements fucked it up in the first place? I don't even wan to finish college at this point. This semester is hell, and because of that, now next semester will be worse. I don't want to be sober through this. I don't even want to be alive. I'm so done. I'm so done with all this pain but it just keeps getting worse, so I try harder and get knocked down further. I don't want to do this anymore, but I have to. I really tried, but my parents won't see it that way. Maybe I just suck at multiple choice>?> Maybe I have fucking test anxiety because failure is the norm for chemistry and physics courses. But I'm supposed to miraculously pull this shit off like I always do but maybe I can't fucking do it anymore, and maybe I don't want to keep trying just to fail.

You say I deserve to feel better... But the only way I can do that is to throw away my clean time. I don't want to do that. I don't want to punish myself or get drunk or high. I just want to not feel so damn shitty all the damn time. This pain is literally unbearable. I can't keep up because it hurts too much but resting for just a few minutes puts me that much further behind but I'm so fucking tired physically, mentally, and otherwise.

I'm ranting on here because I have no where else to go. No one to talk to. How the fuck did everything get like this?

[Green Yoshi]

I'm too tired to even scream. I don't even feel anything anymore. What is happiness? What are emotions?

All these are questions to which there are no answers.. especially after the argument I had with her one and a half years ago...

I am so awkward and self-deprecating; of course I ruined that date. He probably thinks I'm a freak. They all probably do. You'll never find anyone new, Jordan, not someone that sticks around. They'll all be too put off by your weirdness.

You should just harm yourself again. You deserve to.

[Kate*]

Can't even enjoy my extra day off because I have to spend it doing laundry around dealing with her and her bullshit. What part of I CAN'T deal with her do you not inderstand?!

Now what? I don't know!

[Lunar]

I hate that you treat him this way. He deserves so much more than you.