Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Everglow.]

I have 40 minutes until I start work, stop telling me what needs to be done.. I feel so I'll and I hurt everywhere...and I just want to drink my coffee in peace

I have 2 months to lose a certain amount of weight. Please let me be able to do it. It seems like I have gained weight but my boyfriend has been saying that the scale was off...either saying he weighs more or less. If my dad and his partner go out I might weigh myself on their scale.

[Thinking]

Why do i always fail everything....

[Kate*]

Why am I suddenly dreaming about him out of nowhere?!

[nothereanymore]

They're not even making an effort to encourage me. I want to go home. I'm so fucking tired and I just want to be alone.

I haven't felt well all day!

I purged again. Oops.

I want to hurt myself.

[Kintsukuroi.]

disgusted. I feel sick

I am not worthy. I am worthless.

[Celyn]

Tired, need a shower, can't be bothered for anything.

[Kate*]

No, I don't give a shit that I wasn't invited to your wedding crap. I obviously wouldn't have come anyway. I'm sorry you can't move past your victim mentality after what YOU did 7 fucking years ago. We were right, and YOU have the lack of maturity and criminal record, not us.

Every time I see stuff like that, it's like getting slapped in the face all over again. I knew that, that's part of why I wanted it too! Instead I get to do retail and I think I'm getting sick, but I only have to get through one shift, then I get another day off.

[Lionheart]

Of course noone gives a damn if I am not feeling well. All that matters is that they are ok and happy.
I'm so down and I lost something really important to me but of course that doesn't matter. Its more fun to watch some fucking movie. No need to pretend that Olivers feelings matter in any way

[nothereanymore]

I hate my job

To shower or not to shower? I kind of want to but I also don't want to have to comb my hair.

Maybe I'll just take a quick shower and then try and watch a movie or two.

Just feel so broken and ugly and worthless.

[nothereanymore]

You're just like A. Oh my god. I can't believe I got myself into this.

I am a terrible fucking person. I deserve to be dead. I am a terrible person.

I really need to gather the courage to call the therapist. I believe, she is the one I talked to last year who told me to call back in a few months and I never did because I thought I had found a therapist. Then I ended up calling back after that therapist didn't work and she wasn't accepting any patients, again.

If I call sometime soon she might not be accepting patients but she might tell me to call back in a few months. If I do that I might be able to get in by January or something.

She could also be the therapist I called who was no longer in practice and had retired. This would suck because out of all the therapists that take my insurance she seems like the best to deal with trauma and she also does EMDR. The only other female therapist that does EMDR, that I would see, apparently does christian counseling.

[FallonRose]

I'm such a disappointment I knew this was gonna turn out horrible...I don't deserve good opportunites.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

I have been tried all day.

[nothereanymore]

I'm so apathetic

I am struggling so much. Going to start looking for a therapist.

I'll start out going once a month if need be.

[nothereanymore]

Once again. I'll never get better. Because the world makes me sick.

My stomach hurts and I want to go home.

I did not sleep and I cannot breath

There's no fucking middle ground. It's up or down and nothing in-between.

Why am I thinking of suicide again?

[nothereanymore]

Seriously what the fuck do I have to do to get some help

[Kate*]

Been sick for 3 days now for no logical reason and after tomorrow, I have to work 4 days straight

[nothereanymore]

Here's hoping I actually wake up and go to work tomorrow

[Kintsukuroi.]

-I have so much to do and no time.
-I have an awful headache.
It isn't the same anymore.

[nothereanymore]

My heart hurts so badly. I miss Chester.

[Starseeker]

Oh my fucking God. Such a realistic dream, I would give away a lot for it to happen in reality. What's the point of having pleasant dreams if you wake up and get in an awful mood immediately, because you know it was only a dream?

[nothereanymore]

I am trying so hard. And I'm about done.

I haven’t eaten since Monday and I’m sitting here, trying to do homework, but I can’t. I bought a granola bar from the deli and I have it opened and sittting on the table in front of me. My body wants and needs the food, but my mind won’t let me have it. So it’s sitting there, taunting me. My body is begging me to eat it, but my mind is screaming at me not to. Food is dangerous. Food will make me fatter than I already am. Food isn’t good for me. I want to eat it and I want to throw it away. I’m not going to do anything with it. I can’t touch it. Food isn’t good for me. I shouldn’t have spent the money on something I knew I wouldn’t eat.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

I don't want to be alive anymore.....

I don't feel well.

[Kate*]

I sleep WAY too much on my days off. Maybe I just need that much?

I have a feeling I'm going to HATE this afternoon shift because I need to get out before the people overwhelm me, but I only have to do it once. It doesn't help that the reason I'm forced to work this in the first place got cancelled.

Maybe I should update him again if I'm thinking about it out of nowhere.

Neurodiverse does not equal entitled. You don't have to consider yourself broken or diseased, but that doesn't excuse you from behaving in socially acceptable ways or give you the right to demand that society bend over backwards to accommodate your sensitivities while you refuse to do the same.

This is one of the few days I don't want to work

I feel like I don't know who I am anymore.

I just feel defeated

[nothereanymore]

lol because the bus pulling in at 6:40 when I said "about 6:30" is a reeeeal problem and DEFINITELY my fault. Especially because I've never had to wait on you ever so fuck me for MAKING you wait on me. Stop. Guilt. Tripping. Me. STOP. GUILT. TRIPPING. ME. S T O P I T.