Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Calaer]

I have to wait until Friday to re-fill my anxiety meds, and I'm a nervous wreck that I'm going to end up needing them before we are able to get them.

[Everglow.]

I'm in agony and exhausted. 2 hours to get home when it should have been a 40 minute journey. Need time off

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

All I do is cause problems for everyone. I'm too mentally fucked up to do anything or be anyone in life.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

I'm hurting tonight.

[Kate*]

Same as always, the more I think about a job, the more it sounds like I can't do it/will get fired, stupid disability ruined everything. I'd MUCH rather do that if I can't do what I REALLY want, but with no experience in it, I can't do that either. The long and short of it is that I've been royally screwed.

Originally Posted by Kate*

Same as always, the more I think about a job, the more it sounds like I can't do it/will get fired, stupid disability ruined everything. I'd MUCH rather do that if I can't do what I REALLY want, but with no experience in it, I can't do that either. The long and short of it is that I've been royally screwed.

I'm unsure what types of jobs you are able to do. I do know that if you are able to type relatively fast 45+ words per minute and can prove it (maybe getting a certificate to from vocational rehabilitation). You will have a slight advantage even if you don't have the required experience. So if you could do a job that required typing (clerical aid) and could type fast you might get hired if you ace the interview.

My dad is a supervisor and people within his company were telling him that being able to type fast is an advantage because there are a lot of people who can't.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

I'm so tired and I am down.

I still don't feel well!!

[Calaer]

I've been putting off finishing up the house now, and I know that I need to, and I know that it's my fault I'm stuck doing it today.

I've gotten about 2 hours of sleep. I want to harm myself so badly. I'm so irritable lately.

[Kate*]

Anxiety won't let me be happy, where is the freaking email?! Plus you said I wasn't going to need any post-employment support, but now you desperately want it for me. I didn't bring it up because you said I didn't have to disclose and I didn't know I was getting any! This is not my fault, you're the professionals, you know I'm new at this, I listened to what you already said and you had plenty of time to tell me otherwise.

What is going on with me? Why am I not finishing my dinner? And why does it take me almost 2 hours to eat breakfast? What is wrong or going on with me? I can't take it anymore with my sister and mom yelling at me to eat more. I don't know why I can't do this. Please stop yelling at me.

[Chuuya]

Screw my job. I've only been back for a few weeks and you guys already pull this crap on me? I am one person and I cannot do it all at once.

[nothereanymore]

Why am I working this fucking job why haven't I killed myself yet

[Calaer]

I would love to share some of the things I love to do with you, but you never seem interested. It breaks my heart.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

I need everything to be ok.

[Kate*]

If I don't hear anything from you by Monday, I'm calling to make sure everything is set. Not because I want to, but because this anxiety is killing me and I can't let this get screwed up even if I don't really want it.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

You will be ok.

What is going on with me, why can't I fix this problem?

[Adele101]

Stop telling me what I should and should not do. It is my life, my body and my bloody brain. I will decide what I will fucking do with it. I am sick and tired of having you and your messed up community dictate how I should think and feel. GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME.

[Kate*]

This is a bad sign. My communication may not be perfect, but apparently neither is yours. If this is a sign of things to come, no matter how good the pay is, I won't stay.

Sometimes I feel so worthless and trapped.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

I don't know.

[Kate*]

Trust me, I know a victim mentality when I see one. I'm not "dodging responsibility", I'm refusing to stay stuck in society's false dichotomy. It's not my fault if you choose to stay in it. But instead of confronting me for what I'm not actually doing, you should "take responsibility" for your own life and spend your time doing something more productive.

Actually, there was something you could've done. Made him an indoor cat. They can't run away if you don't let them out.

Tonight is a bad night.

If I feel this way tomorrow I don't know what I am going to do. Contemplating suicide and self harm. I might cave and start taking my medication again.

I think I should. I know I should.

IDK.

I used to be so thin. Now look at me.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Breathe In and Out and believe everything will be ok.

I don't feel well and we have a lot to do. I need to feel better fast!!!!

I wish I could cut.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

It was an accident. I didn't mean to break it. I'm really sorry, I just bumped into it. Its all my fault.

[Adele101]

I look for you everywhere wherever I go. The last thought I have before I go to sleep is of you, and you probably haven't even thought of me in years. Why can't I just stop being so worthless?

[Kate*]

Torn between wanting to go so I can see the family drama first hand, and wanting to avoid it completely. I know I won't be able to keep my mouth shut.

[daisy_jam]

For once I would LOVE to get some fucking sleep. Chronic Illnesses why the fuck do you exist?!?!? Been crying myself to sleep for the past three hours and I still can't cry myself to sleep. Ughhh

Lately I have been feeling so lonely.

[Adele101]

I wish I could just run away to the other side of the world sometimes.

[nothereanymore]

You just don't know when to quit. How many times are we gonna have this conversation? Fucking controlling. No. I've said it with passion all this time. Let it go for the love of God.

[Kate*]

If I have to request advanced notice as an accommodation to get what I need before the lack of it gives me an anxiety attack, I will do it.

I am extremely hesitant to sign a contract that was changed before I was told. You basically added this without discussing it with me and then changed the contracts behind my back. I don't even know what the fuck it's for but things have already been rewritten!

Just because other people are desperate for the services I'm annoyed about, doesn't mean I'm not allowed to be annoyed about them!

You'd better allow this, we need our lives back and we've had more than enough of your constant victim bullshit!

[nothereanymore]

It's all about you. You're so rude.

[Kate*]

I'm NOT sorry for nagging you. I'm doing what I have to do to get the needed information you aren't giving me. There's a difference between nagging and being responsible. I have to look out for myself if no one else is going to do it.

I REALLY need you to leave me alone for 2 minutes, I can only deal with one major issue and set of people at once and I can't tell you anything until I deal with them first anyway!

And, I just confirmed as suspected, that the problem is either with the system or with you. If I don't hear anything by Monday, I'll call AGAIN!

We need to schedule these closer together, once a month is not enough, but I think your receptionists are part of the problem. And PLEASE tell me the door will be open. I don't want to get locked out like the other people did.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

I'm so tired!!!! Why am I not sleeping!!