Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Everglow.]

Looking through old messages and I saw one about the picnic on the floor at nanas house. Still can't remember if it happened, been trying to figure that out since she died.
I miss you so much nana. I wish you were still here.

[FallonRose]

I don't know how much more of this pain I can handle..

[Kate*]

When I see other people with the same thing who can do it anyway, it just makes it worse and I wonder if I could've done it too if I had gone somewhere else. I look forward to the day that I don't have to think about it 24/7, but I have no idea when that will be. Until I have income and a new life built for myself, I think I'll be constantly haunted by what I wanted instead.

I need to do this if I'm going to do it, but I don't really want to. Especially since I'm questioning your true character. I suppose the fact that you do it when you dont have to says enough.

[Thinking]

Wow gg... wow what the actual hell is this?! -.-

[nothereanymore]

That good feeling lasted less than an hour. I want to die.

Thank you, the timing was perfect. -.-

[Thinking]

Okay fine. Using the brain is way more reliable than feelings.

Exams are coming soon and I should use my brain more instead of feelings!

[Clarent]

i wanna kill myself thanks

[nothereanymore]

This thought literally sits on my shoulder 24/7

[Calaer]

I hate this, a lot, and even more so now that all of this has happened.

[Everglow.]

Why does everyone go out at the same time when I'm at home? It's like nobody wants to be left alone with me these days.

[nothereanymore]

This world is poison and death is the cure

She isn't going to text back.

[FallonRose]

I can't believe you fucking did this to your friends... I can't believe I was once a friend of a fucking cold blooded murderer....I'm so sick.

[Calaer]

UGH. Ava has lice. For the first time EVER and we had no idea where on earth she has gotten them, until of course we started letting our friends and family know, and turns out, she got them from one of Jordan's friends, and what pisses me off, because lord knows you can't help it when you get lice, and that's okay, but said friend of his KNOWS he had them, not only didn't tell us, but apparently isn't treating them other than combing out his hair which, to each their own I guess, but why on earth would you make it easier for others to get lice from you? Like really?

[nothereanymore]

Just the thought of talking to you scares the shit out of me

I honestly can't believe you people. You're constantly leaving me out. Not giving me a chance to be in my nieces lives. They aren't going to know me.

You are no better either. I told you how I felt about them leaving me out last holiday season. You said "I don't do that." Yes, yes you do. You've been doing it a lot more this year too and if I say anything at all you all fucking justify it by saying "We didn't think you'd come".

Honestly, I don't want to talk to any of you any more. You don't truly care or you wouldn't leave me out like you do. My biggest fear is that if I end up cutting you off I'll end up completely and utterly alone though and while I try and hide it; being alone terrifies me.

Hearing from my dad made me sad. We've never been this far apart, emotionally speaking.

Ohhhhh, noooooo..... it's not like I needed a friend.

[MWF]

Oh fuck me, I don't have a ride home from work tomorrow... Looks like an hour and a half walk at night.

[Kate*]

I DON'T WANT THIS! I don't think it will ever be okay

[Calaer]

Today was supposed to be a day of relaxation, but now I'm being forced to leave the house and participate in things I'd rather not do. Yay for me.

[FallonRose]

Went to the hospital for the second time in less than a month because of the pain. It's starting to effect my work too, I have to take the day off today so not like I need the money. They keep taking fucking xrays and I tell them they need to do a MRI because my bones are fine!!!! It's my nerves and soft tissue but no just continue to ignore the actual problem. Then they had the audacity to give me FIVE tramadol. That's gonna last me maybe 3 days and I have to wait until July to see the doctor. Guess I'll just go fuck myself.

[nothereanymore]

Just waiting for the right time. Again.

We always fight. Sometimes I just don't know why. I wish it would stop.

[Kate*]

The only thing holding this family together is the now extremely toxic person at the center of it. I really wish I knew how much longer this shit would go on!

You're a total asshole, but I'm glad you've been happier since you cut yourself off from us. I wish I could do the same thing, except I'm an ADULT, so I'm not allowed. And I have no idea what your problem with my mom is, she wasn't even involved in all the shit and that was 7 YEARS ago. If it's because of what I said to your daughter, she fucking DESERVED it and no one else was going to, again, be the ADULT and tell her. Grow up!!!

Glad to watch you living your dream in spite of your disability, while I lost the same dream to mine. I know you offered to keep me from seeing them, but I can't expect you to do that, even if every one of them feels like a slap in the face.

[Thinking]

Focus Focus Focus!!!

Come on its just 3 more days to finish the exams after this whole long month, focus!

Use the brain to think, not feelings!

I'm so tired!! I need to get more sleep!!

[nothereanymore]

Aaand I tanked. Nice. Can't just feel good for fucking nothing.

[FallonRose]

So we fired someone and yet my hours still haven't increased. I'm dying over here.

Is this going to be another fuck and dump?

[MWF]

I saw a story about a city official who stepped down for using the N word.
Me: Alright, lets take a look at this jackass.
Me a second later: Oh fuck, thats my friend's dad.

[nothereanymore]

I GET IT I GET IT I FUCKING GET IT OH MY GOD SHUT UP. SHUT UP. LET US HAVE ONE CONVERSATION WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH FUCKING MONEY I OWE YOU.

[Thinking]

JUSTSLEEP FOR WHATEVER SAKE -.-

WHY IS SLEEPING SUCH A DIFFICULT TASK??!! AND AT THIS TIME WHEN I NEED IT?!

Good job, Jordan. You drunk texted her. Now she's really going to think you're a freak.

I wish I were dead.

[nothereanymore]

It's not that I don't care that people will be hurt if I do this. It's just not enough to stay. I can't live for other people.

[Kate*]

Watch me get an opportunity for an early session that day and have to put my well-being on hold to deal with her again. That would be too perfect, but considering my luck, it's virtually guaranteed.

Your perpetual victim shit makes me want to punch you in the fucking face. And we could be putting up with it for God knows how fucking long.

[Fanatic]

Im tired of having to be obsessed with being in love or liking someone. I want to dissociate myself from it and sex because it seems too much right now to handle and not important.

[Calaer]

I hate having to deal with this. I just want this to be over and for us to move on from having to deal with it.