Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[nothereanymore]

Getting wasted to feel less like lying on the train tracks is not the best idea. Hang. O. Ver.

[Clarent]

I really should put those energy drinks away.

I'm not even drinking THAT much, and yet I still feel like I should be going healthier.

Oh well, I guess for now it'll do instead of sleep, eh?

[Calaer]

I'm so tired of whoever is doing this. We can't try and protect/safe guard ourselves from this. We just have to deal with it, and it's so emotionally draining. I'm so over all of it, and just want to pick up and move away.

[Ral.]

You don't need drugs. You don't need cigarettes and you don't need alcohol.

When is my head gonna let me believe that?

[.Brittany.]

I don't feel well at all..

[Celyn]

Computer died. Just what I wanted.

Trigger warning for graphic description.

Spoiler:

I totally did not need to see the image of a headless cat! OMG LET'S DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS. How about the person not fucking take a picture of the poor dead animal and actually DO SOMETHING about animal cruelty!

I feel fat and I'm supposed to go on a date tonight. I really like this girl and I'm afraid she's not going to be attracted to me because of my weight.

[Everglow.]

Thanks for arranging a viewing and giving us no notice. What I love to do after 7 hours of writing an essay and 2 hours of cooking dinner is to then spend 4 hours scrubbing the house from top to bottom while you aren't here to help. But it's fine because every room is spotless, apart from yours which is still a literal tip.

[nothereanymore]

I don't want to be alone anymore

I feel crushed.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

So fat and disgusting. All I do is eat, eat, and eat some more. Such a pathetic, fat, disgusting waste of space. Need to restrict and take laxatives. It's the only way I'll ever be skinny. Restrict and take laxatives. Restrict and take laxatives.

[Calaer]

I can't say that I hate you, because I don't, but I will never forgive you. I'm honestly just to that point where I want to move away and make sure you don't know where we are going.

I don't know if I am going to make it through this and it scares me.

[.Brittany.]

I am so tired.. I think I'm going to sleep for the rest of the day.

[xxpaigiexx]

I told myself I would start things off fresh and start on a clean slate and forget everything that's happened. But I can't, I just can't. I've tried so hard to move forward, but it's difficult knowing all the things you are probably saying behind all our backs. Knowing you're taking my mum's kindness for weakness. I pay my way every month and skint myself out trying to pay for everything. I have literally cut down on my spending. You rarely see me go out shopping and waste money, because there's never usually anything left to spend. I don't go out drinking every weekend. I can't help but feel some of that is your fault. If you paid your way, I might not have to pay out quite so much. I see you slipping back into old habits and I know nothing is going to change. Until you're gone, everything is just going to stay the way it is and you're never going to change. You're always going to be the same. No wonder no one wants you around. You make me sick.

[Tigereyes]

I'm still panicking and overwhelmed and I feel sick. This is too much.. I need it to stop. I have to go to the store later; I might buy alcohol while I'm there and just throw everything away. Not like I have much to lose anymore.

I am so fucking mad at you.

[Everglow.]

I don't get it. We sat in silence at the dinner table, made a tea in silence, haven't spoken at all today despite all of us being in all day bar an hour when I went to the shop. What is it with you? This is the reason this friendship isnt real anymore. You don't make any effort to communicate unless other people are laughing already and you think you're missing out. I don't like you. You're not a nice person to live with. Can't bloody wait to move out.

I don't want to keep worrying.

[Calaer]

I wish you would stop trying to ruin my life. I just want you out of my life and gone forever. Please go away.

Now that I remember, I can never forget you hitting me. I've relived that incident so many times since remembering and I can't stand it. I've talked through it with a counselor, I've prayed about it, I've forgiven you, but I can't get it out of my mind. You leaped across the table and grabbed my arm and pulled me toward you and in that moment you looked like you could have killed me. I wore long sleeves for a month to cover the bruises. And what hurts the most is that fact that I don't know how often you hurt me. I don't know how far it went because I've repressed the memories or forced myself to forget or disassociated. I know that I sometimes get scared even of people I trust when they get angry with me and it has to be your fault because no one else has hurt me like you. You broke me and you get to move on and I'm still stuck in what happened because I CAN'T REMEMBER and I have to remember or it's going to taunt me forever. I stopped going to counseling because I'm afraid of realizing you did something I can't forgive and that terrifies me so much. I thought I was in love with you and you treated me like shit and broke me. You manipulated me and made me think I couldn't be loved. And for some reason, I miss you. I miss you and I can't help it. You broke me, you hurt me, and I miss you. What's wrong with me?

[Calaer]

I hate how you make me feel. I'll never forgive you for this.

[nothereanymore]

I hate you.

[Kate*]

At least READ my content before attacking it! This doesn't "go against a lot of therapy and self-care" I was almost a THERAPIST for fuck sake and I obviously know a lot more about either one than you do if that's what you think they mean. And thank you editors for removing that whole point. Most of the arguments are coming from people who I actually agree with because they don't realize there's another element to my philosophy since you chose to cut it for no reason.

"I'm sorry if you took offense, but I take ACTION. I don't play the victim" GOOD FOR YOU! Where the fuck did I say I didn't or suggest that other people shouldn't?! Oh, that's right it DOESN'T say that! I don't have to explain shit to you and my life is none of your business! I said I wasn't reading or responding to comments. Should've stuck to it. And no, I didn't say that either! If you're going to attack me, do so for what I say, not for what I don't say and READ the damn thing first. People can be so fucking stupid

There are plenty of reasons I DON'T want to do this, but at least you can't yell or give up on me. I see ZERO point to it.

I feel so unattractive and unlovable.

If this many people ghost or flake it's got to be me right?

Should restrict again. Maybe if I weren't so fucking fat people would like me more.

You're insignificant.

[nothereanymore]

I haven't gone one day without regretting that I survived. I hate the world. I hate it.

[Calaer]

When is it going to go too far? Has it already? Do I still have time before we end up in a place we don't want to be? I can't let you back in, because this is never going to stop, and you'll always take it too far.

[Everglow.]

Constant headaches, a cold coming on, less than 3 weeks to write my entire dissertation, and I can barely sit down to write an essay without wanting to hurt myself or someone else.
So incredibly fucked off with the way my final year is going right now.

I feel like a piece of shit.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

No one cares about me. All I ever do is just cause more problems for people. I'm better off dead then alive.

[daisy_jam]

You have a sick daughter. Stop yelling at me. Stop telling me I'm a disappointment, I already know. No wonder I don't tell you anything. I wish I wasn't here at all.

[.Brittany.]

I hate being sick..

[Phantom_Girl]

I told you I was okay but that's a lie. I'm not okay

I want to be okay but I don't know how

It's hard to be okay when everyone around you is the reason you're not.

[nothereanymore]

I'm wearing a dress and my stepdad says, "Now if you'd dressed like that in high school..." implying I'd have looked better. Like. Thanks. I know I was ugly in high school but that wasn't the real reason nobody liked me.

[MWF]

Looking back at all the hot girls who I could have easily had sex with makes me wanna bash my head against a wall.
Oh my God. If I had played my cards right... 12. FUCKING 12.

[Calaer]

I hate how I have zero energy today. Mentally I'm so excited, but my physical energy level just isn't quite there yet. Bleh.

I really want to die.
I don't know why I am feeling this way.
I won't act on the thoughts but I HATE having the thoughts.

[hocus pocus]

I can't breathe right now.