Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Chai.]

For once stop behaving like a little kid. You are a parent for God's sake!

[nothereanymore]

I'm so tired and heavy and my head is spacey and I don't understand why

Why do I keep getting headaches?

[hocus pocus]

I am pretty sure I have a head cold. Fun stuff.

[Celyn]

Exhausted, hurting and with a two day headache. I feel pathetically unfit.

[Calaer]

I hate that you treat me like you do. It's so frustrating.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

I don't deserve to be alive. All I do is cause people pain and ruin their lives. I create more problems for people.

[MyVisionIsDying]

Thay feeling when it feels like your best friend is taking one of your happy places...

It really fucking hurts and I want to fucking hurt everything and everyone.

[Everglow.]

She cooks. She likes the same music.
You're gonna end up really liking her, and sooner or later the same thing that always happens will happen here as well. There's not enough space in anyones life for me and a boyfriend/girlfriend. Doesn't matter hw long I've known you. It'll happen as it always does. And I'll just be alone.

I have had a constant headache the past week or two. The doctor said it might be from lack of caffeine. I thought it might be from not taking my medicine. Now I am not so sure and I am scared I have a brain tumor

[nothereanymore]

I'm so low.

"Are you sure he'll be happy to see you?"
Bitch.

[Kate*]

I got myself here, I brought you in because I got stuck. So, telling me to do what I was already doing (when it wasn't working) or what I know I should do isn't going to get me very far. I don't know why I'm still going if it's not getting me anywhere. My only options will be what I have to do to survive, I want neither of them and they will never be things that I want.

I'm so writing a book

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

Should just do everyone a favor and kill myself. All I ever do is cause more problems for people. I'm a failure and will always be a failure. I'll never amount to anything.

[nothereanymore]

I'm still heartbroken almost two years later and it hurts so bad

[roseegirl]

I am falling apart and yet no one can tell or ask

[nothereanymore]

Gotta love nightmares about your mom's abusive ex boyfriend. It's been three and a half years since I've seen him but I'm still terrified of him.

[Everglow.]

Another crap grade be another interview cancellation. What's the fucking point in me.

[Clarent]

please help me.

make this anxiety stop...

[Chai.]

So, to get through my daily study and class schedule, I'd require 36 hours in a day. I have 24 and you still expect me to squeeze in a normal 7 hours of sleep? Who are you kidding, dammit. I don't want to fail. I'd rather not sleep.

This stress is killing me.

[Calaer]

I honestly do hate having to go to town. It's so stressful, and I'm never prepared for it.

[Everglow.]

I was ok until I thought about tomorrow. Nothing particularly wrong with it other than the fact it's going to happen.

In other news, you're a selfish person and I really don't like you. It's ok cos your best friend can go on a date with a woman she's never met before but as long as you send a message saying you're worried 45 minutes after asking how it's going it's fine, because you have your boyfriend round again.
Don't even speak to me. You're a horrible human.

[nothereanymore]

Why do you feel the need to just let out your flatulence wherever, whenever, without warning? There's a bathroom literally fifteen feet away? That's DISGUSTING. (Around others, really. In a public place? A HOSPITAL room, at that? Get up and go to the bathroom and don't let out your nasty wet gas in the middle of the frickin room.)

[Clarent]

more sleep please thanks

[jamdoughnut]

i know you can see this, so listen. nothing will ever get better, i wont ever stop trying to fight you unless you stop what it is that your doing. give me my freedom. get out of the way and let me live my life. be rational, normal human beings and let me go, instead of holding me closer and literally suffocating me because your afraid of getting older and your afraid of losing your baby. im not going anywhere. but you noticed that i only feel happy now when im away from you? dont be the one to drive me away. the more you continue to do this the harder it is for me to forgive. your not going to see that everything is going to be okay until you let go. i cant show you that im ok, and i wont be happy until you do. let me make my own decisions without having to worry about you. stop deciding things for me. stop withholding information from me because you dont think im mature. you have no idea whats going on in my head, you dont know whats normal for me, and you ccant even begin to imagine how old i am mentally. everyone i have gone to for help has told ,me the exact same thing, that theres really nothing that i can do but either try to change you or wait until you cant hurt me anymore, and i just cant do that. i cant wait any longer. its not fair for me to suffer and hate the way that i live simply because your afraid of something that is never going to happen. you dont understand, stop acting like you do.
if you really love me, youll let me go. im begging you, theres nothing else that i can do.

[Everglow.]

I don;t know if I want to do things or don't want to do things or if I really don't care about anything anymore

[Kate*]

Our family's business is none of yours and you had NO RIGHT to tell your entire neighborhood. All of you need to learn what it means to keep your fucking mouth shut and mind your own business.

Now I have to call them because the thing won't fucking work. I don't want to do this in the first place and now it doesn't even work!

Guess what, I fucking spiraled again! Maybe that's what I need you for instead of telling me to do what I've already tried and failed at. I QUIT, even therapy failed me. Oh, wait, I'm CHOOSING TO FAIL so I guess I failed it. There is literally NO POINT, so I'm done now. I held on for hope of something I now know I'll never have so fuck it.

If my only options are what I'm already doing with enough money to barely survive or working a shitty job I hate, there is no point in fighting this hard to live a life like that. I wanted, deserved, and should've had SO MUCH MORE than that.

[MWF]

Procrastinating until 5 for a one page paper. I have a problem...

[Clarent]

who needs good sleep when you have energy drinks.

granted Im bringing this upon myself, but hey, I'm always tired, so whats the difference?

[Everglow.]

Genuinely not very ok at all right now.

Thanks though. For reminding me I shouldn't feel like this because I don't have it as bad as you. As usual, you have to remind me that not only am I unhappy right now, but Im ungrateful for being unhappy.

[Fanatic]

I'm doubting myself so much to the point I don't know of what I do is the right decision...I know I shouldn't be whiny but could you be there for me when I feel like this? I know I'm a burden and I'm too used to taking it all by myself because of others. You always seem too busy to be a comfort that I lose my way a lot. Sure I go to a counselor nowadays but I still feel like I'm suffocating...loneliness isn't something I choose but rather have dealt with a lot forcefully and you not being here makes me remember the past all too much. I'm scared of being alone but mostly cause I hate my past and I dont think I can handle more time of being alone...

[nothereanymore]

Tired of waking up to you snapping and yelling and cussing. And no, that's not "just how it is". Fucking hold her accountable or I will.

[Calaer]

I hate that you aren't home today. I miss you, and I wish you could have stayed home with us today.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

Everything's getting bad again. If I disappeared, no one would care. I don't matter to anyone.

[nothereanymore]

"No guy will want to be with a girl who's slept with a bunch of guys."
"The kind of girl you fuck and dump"

Disposable. Disgusting. Give me a lobotomy because I'm just a sex doll apparently and I don't need to function.

I feel like giving up.

[roseegirl]

You cant just leave and not tell me why

[Calaer]

I hate that I feel this way, but I shouldn't, and you know it.

[Thinking]

Can't I be any dumber or smarter?! Why do I always had to be good at something but nto enough to be successful in it? Why couldn't I be a dumb so that I dont't have to feel guilty in anything?

[MWF]

I walked in thinking I would have a solid B on my history exam. We didn't get our grades back, but after listening to our grad assistant, EVERYONE thinks they got less than 50%.
What a fucking cunt. I just dropped the c word, I never drop the c word. Fuck that lady. She sucks at her job and doesn't belong there.

[Kate*]

I'm so glad "victim mentality annoys the crap out of" you so your solution is to tell "offended" mentally ill individuals to kill themselves. Good for you! You're officially an ass hole. Have a nice responsibility-filled and victim-free day.

You are never going to be able to justify that, especially considering what you know and how you tried to justify doing it in the first place. There is absolutely NO excuse for what you put me through, none.


This would've been easier to deal with if:
I had had actual options
I had been treated like a HUMAN BEING during any of my time there
It hadn't been the culmination and confirmation of EVERYTHING I've been put through my entire life
I were rich and had the means to do something else. Even if there were options, I can't afford to pursue them.

I can't decide if social media makes people heartless idiots without filters or if it just provides a platform for such people.

I really wish I could have my life back. I don't know if I want to go back to who I was before or if I want to rebuild a new one. I guess my only option is forward. I wish that had worked out, been less painful, or at the very least, been professionally handled either way. I will always feel like I'm the only one who can't do it. There's no excuse for any of it not to have been. I want a life I'll be proud of, even if others aren't. And I have high expectations, what can I tell you? It's the way I was raised.