Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[nothereanymore]

Chess, if you see this, it is NOT directed at you. <3

I can't get them to read the book to save my life. They say they want to only to placate me and they keep saying they'll do it but they don't. It's been two-plus years and she still hasn't read it. I don't even think she's tried. I don't know why they do that if they don't but keep saying they will. But I guess that's what I get for not being great at keeping promises either. Even more reason to feel like shit. My friends don't want to read the writing despite their interest because I'm a shitty person. Nice. Like just say you don't want to. It's not that hard and it'll hurt less.

[Everglow.]

I didn't know just hearing her voice would make me cry straight away.
I miss you so much.

[nothereanymore]

I know you mock me when I'm not around. And i fucking hate you for it.

[Chai.]

Stop shipping me with him. I don't like him, okay? And I don't know why you find it funny when he leans in and talks. I find it creepy. Just stop it!

[.Brittany.]

I don't think I can do this anymore...

[nothereanymore]

That wasn't meant to guilt trip anyone You don't have to read my writing. I just don't like when people say they will and never do.

I have a fic to update and I feel awful for not finishing it
And I have to figure out packing because I leave in four days
And I hope the xanax doesn't knock me out, I need to be cognizant enough to get through the airports

And I'm tired of feeling bad

[Calaer]

I'm so ready for this feeling of guilt to go away. I just want things to get back to normal.

[nothereanymore]

I don't want to get out of bed for anything

I much rather would have had a dream about kicking helpless blind, two-legged kitten and dumping them in a puddle of semi-frozen water instead!

[Calaer]

I'm so tired of always having to be worried about what you think. I don't want to always do what you want, I want to be able to live my life the way I want, and I don't want to have to always be looking over my shoulder, waiting for your judgement.

[Everglow.]

Why does he have to be here every other day? I'm sick of hearing 'I'm going to pick him up'. Go out. Go on a date like a normal couple. Why does your whole life have to consist of picking him up really late, sleeping, and then taking him home?

[Kate*]

It's tone has turned decidedly more negative recently. Negative comments and whatnot are par for the course, but the longer they take to come in, the more anxiety provoking it is because I know they're coming.

I REALLY wish I didn't have to do this, and I want my old life back, and I want off of Medicaid because it sucks. Just don't yell at me. I HATE being non-compliant, but it's not like I didn't.

There's no guarantee that I'll get anything. There was ZERO point to surviving this long.

My curiosity got the best of me and I looked up the person she said screwed her and I'd never in a million years believe that that person would do such a thing. Then I remembered how many times my friends said the same thing to me about the people who screwed me. Either they changed it, or they changed her. and if they're capable of corrupting such a sweet woman, then they are just evil people.

[nothereanymore]

Everything is so loud

I couldn't fight it anymore and now there's nothing in my stomach. I'm sorry, I couldn't fight this urge anymore. But everything feels better now. The world is turning a lot slower.

[.Brittany.]

My entire body hurts!

[fallenskies]

Can I please have some fucking respect in this household? Yes, you bought this house, blah blah but I think I deserve some respect. So don't go around insulting me like it's no big deal and then 2 seconds later expect me to be fine. I'm not fine. We have the same personality. I got my temper genes from you. So if you wanna fucking complain about my attitude, maybe you should reflect on your own for a mo.

[nothereanymore]

I'm tired of having nightmares.

[Calaer]

I wish this was easier for all of us, but truth is, it isn't, so move on.

I keep getting headaches and I am worried about it. They get so bad that I end up being nauseous.

[nothereanymore]

I'm so tired. I feel so heavy. How am I supposed to do anything out of bed if I have no energy? I don't know what to do except keep lying here.

[Calaer]

I'm so ready for a change. I'd love to move away from here and get a fresh start on life.

I am not feeling well and it's really annoying.

[Fanatic]

Ugh! Why do irresponsible people have to be so annoying and be present in my life?! Why? You are the reason why I have to be an asshole and why I have trust issues! I hate you and please stay away from me because you are so toxic! I'm looking at you suite mate! You are an annoying betch who won't shut your loud mouth! Grow up and I'll be happy when you are out of my life! Work, why do you have to be one of them that doesn't take responsibility for your own dang mistakes?! Ugh grow up too! Stop being annoying.

[nothereanymore]

Taking a Xanax on no sleep and getting through three different airports... and day shopping with my mother, stepfather, brother, and two dogs... is going to be interesting...

I wish they would pay me already! Have some things I want to buy and they are on sale right now and not sure how long that will last.

[Calaer]

I hate this weather! I wouldn't mind the rain, but I hate the lightening and thunder.

[Everglow.]

Don't want to go to bed because it means I have to get up tomorrow. So sick of everything at the moment. Can't even look forward to the future because it's getting harder to see clearly.

[Chai.]

I think I am kicking ass at living life without you. You don't need to come back and you definitely shouldn't go about asking others how I am doing.

I feel like such a waste of space.

[Kate*]

Sometimes I still want what I wished it had been. There were times I did it perfectly. That should be proof that it's possible, or at least it would've been if I'd gone to an accepting, and ethical, place to learn.

Anxiety kicking in, my reminders usually come at least 2 days ahead of time. I hope I got a card this time. It's definitely tomorrow, that's weird, maybe it didn't save. Might call to make sure anyway. Doing laundry on the wrong day for no reason sucks though. New company handling notifications. See, sometimes it's NOT you.

Victim blaming is bad enough, but doing it sarcastically is worse. Refusing to take responsibility for the shit that other people do to you isn't playing the victim, it's maintaining your sanity.

Good news: I may have found a way to discharge at least some of my student loans
Bad news: SSI may still be my only option for a life, even if I can discharge the loans another way.

[Calaer]

I truly wish that you would get the justice you deserve. It's so frustrating to have to deal with you being around at random times and treating me and my family like crap. We don't want to engage with you, we just want you to leave us alone, and pretend we don't exist.

[Everglow.]

Sick and tired of this. So behind and struggling, nobody will turn up to my sessions and honestly I just want to cry and sleep. I'm so fed up.

[.Brittany.]

I know you don't like me, but can't you just aknoledge my presence at work..

[Chai.]

And looks like more people are living because they got new friends. Yay, I guess!

[MWF]

Oh my God RedState, you people are so stupid... if you think being gay is a choice, that implies that you're gay. Ask any straight person.

[Calaer]

I know that I still have a long way to go, and that I shouldn't be so hard on myself for not being perfect, but I hate the fact that you're keeping me from my happily ever after. I just don't want people around me that know you. I want to pretend that I don't know you. I want to pretend that you never existed in my book. I'm sorry, but I never wanted you around, and I never will.

I don't like myself.
I wish I were dead.

[.Brittany.]

I am so physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted.

[nothereanymore]

You're so self centered oh my god

[Clarent]

please make it stop