Triggering (Bullying): College problem.

[WhisperingSilence]

Recently two new people like joined my college class. we're a small class. about 8 - 10 of us in one class. these two new people are making my college life hell. one of them i've like had problems with in the past, his girlfriend not so much... however the guy i'll call him SC has been causing alot of problems for me. 1. he knows i do not like being touched or having people in my personal space yet he will like come stand right infront of me invading my personal space i will step back to get space between him and me but he will like step forward and invade my space.
2. he knows i like routine and like to have the same seat in class etc yet this week SC and lets call her SL have both been sitting in the seat i like to sit in... i wouldnt like have a problem with this if they were innocently doing this but SC like actually says to me 'we're sitting in your seats where you like to sit' so its like being done with some sort of malice knowing it will like get a reaction from me.
3. SC keeps like talking about chopping me up and making me into a curry or putting me in an oven and roasting me..... and using my blood as gravy... i've told him to stop but he continues to say this.
4. On friday both SC and SL to my face called me annoying... and told me to shut up...
5. they both feel like it is pretty much their place to comment on the coca cola i drink (diet coke) and when i do and dont drink it.....
6. SC and SL have both called me out on my time out of class... like if i need the toilet during class i will ask the tutor if i can go to the toilet but SC and SL have both started like commenting about me and making comments to me like cant you wait till break - or you should have gone in break then a few minuets later one of them will ask to go to the toilet....
7. They both seem to whisper about me, they will look me and laugh and then liek whisper about me then look at me and like start laughing....
8. they have begun to make personal comments about me and my fidget spinner comments like 'oh you have to go to the front of class and play with your fidget spinner now' . the thing is im not like playing with it... im using it in class to help me concentrate the tutors are like fine with it, im not like waving the spinner around i just hold it in my hand and spin it or fiddle with the parts of it, the spinner like helps me concentrate.

The tutors are my college are aware of this, my friends who I am like actually friends with in my class have noticed it too.... yet at other times SC and SL are quite happy to ask me if they can borrow my stuff like my pens, pencils etc i allow them to use my pens etc ... the tutors are aware of it all..... alot of what SC and SL are doing is being done with the intention of like getting a reaction from me.... and if i do stand up to them one of them will like cry and say im being mean to them.... i cannot win... its making not want to like go into college... but i've managed to like keep me 100% attendance...i just dont know what to do.....

[hocus pocus]

It seems like these people in your class are making school an uncomfortable place for you to be and I am sorry to hear that. School can be difficult enough without being bullied.

You said when you stand up for yourself, they cry and say you’re being mean to them. How do you stand up for yourself? Could you give an example? If you assert yourself politely then perhaps they are trying to be manipulative by saying you’re being rude to them. You can try to stand up for yourself more if you’d like, or work on the reactions you give them to the things they do and say. Maybe if you stop reacting they’ll leave you alone.

If you have disability accommodations maybe you can meet with the disabilities counselor and let them know that people in your class are disrupting your accommodations.

In the meantime, could you find a different place and make that your new place you like to sit in? That way, they’ll sit in your old seat but you’ll have a new one you are comfortable in. There’s nothing wrong with using the fidget spinner if it helps. If they keep making fun of it, however, you may be able to bring something smaller in that they’re not aware of and see if that helps.

Keep us updated if you’d like to.

[WhisperingSilence]

I will say things lke when they comment on me going toilet during class ' I can't go in break the toilets are busy it sets my anxiety off I get bladder shy it's a medical condition look it up in the dictionary or on google' I will just kke say things lke that. The tutors are lke aware of it etc

[hocus pocus]

It seems like you give them an explanation when you stand up for yourself. That’s a good way of standing up for yourself. However, if it doesn’t work perhaps you can try something else. For example, next time they say something about using the bathroom during class you can say something like, “I don’t feel as though using restroom should bother you.” Or “Using the bathroom is my business and mine only.”

If it helps, you might be able to write down a list of things you can say and keep a mental note of them for when things are said to you. That could help you especially if you’re not quick witted.

[WhisperingSilence]

The person in charge of my course came into one of my lessons and like spoke to the class as a whole about the whispering and seat taking etc it seems to have not completely stopped them but their not doing quite so much and it is like abit easier in class now. though im still like on edge as i dont trust them.....

[hocus pocus]

It is good that someone came and spoke about rude behavior; it seems to have made a little bit of difference to the people who’ve been bullying you.

It is understandable to be on edge given what you’ve been through lately and it’s okay to not trust these people. They’re bullying you and so you don’t have to feel obligated to trust them. You don’t ever have to trust them. You just have to do what’s best for you.