College Visit Nerves!

[organizedchaos]

So I'm going on a college visit tomorrow to a school I'm fairly interested in and I'm so nervous! We get a tour and spend the night in a dorm with a roommate, and the next day there are some workshops that we got to pick that look really cool.

I'm so nervous though because I'm scared there will be kids from my old high school there... I know it's pathetic but that's how my anxiety works. I am so socially awkward and anxious whenever I'm at the school or in town where I might run into them. It's part of the reason I'm going to a local community college this year instead of going back to the high school. I was looking for ways to get the hell out of there and stumbled upon the program I'm now in, which was a silver lining to it all. The trouble is, even though I know I don't have to go back there and deal with them anymore I'm still terrified of seeing them at college stuff...I won't even go to any of the stores in town I hate that place so much! Luckily though I live closer to another town anyway, but still I know how pathetic I am. Anywhere else besides that town and I'm fine. I go out of town on trips to see family or for vacation and I can easily talk to people and love it! I love meeting new people and talking to them, and yeah I do awkward things sometimes but it's not really me being socially inept or awkward. It's more just my clumsy and goofy personality, and it's really more funny than awkward...

Anyway I keep having this horrible thought, what if I get put in a room with one of them? Or what if a ton of them are there? I'm horrified! Luckily there's this family friend who's going with me, but he's a guy so I can't share a room with him. That means I'll at least be fine when everyone is together, but we are interested in completely different career paths so we won't have any workshops together. That means now I'm only nervous about the workshops and the dorm thing... At least with the workshops we have something to do and a professor showing us things, but in the dorms I'm completely alone with the person for the whole night! Maybe I could just read a book with headphones in if it's someone from my school... I know it's rude but if I'm trapped in a room with one of them I'll probably puke, so being rude is better than being the person who had an anxiety attack right?

I'm looking forward for this chance to get out and meet new people, but now that I'm having these horrible thoughts it's taking away from the excitement so much, and making me anxious!

I don't know what to do, and I don't want to let those assholes ruin my life anymore! Does anyone have any tips on how to get over this weird anxiety and get rid of these anxious thoughts? Also any ideas on what I can do if any of them are actually there, or I actually get put in a room with one?

Kay

[Celyn]

You're not pathetic at all! I understand how negative experiences will make you want to avoid any places where you might run into people from school. But the key word there is 'might'. Because equally, you might not!

Your college visit sounds very interesting, especially since you get to stay the night in a dorm! Understandably, you may worry more about who you might share a room with, especially if you worry about people from school being there. But again, they might not be. And if they are, how would you deal with that? How would you like to deal with that? You could read a book with headphones, but as you have noticed, that may come across as rude. What if you tried joining in with them, or at least not avoiding them? Unless you are at a risk of being bullied, then you may find that not avoiding them may not be so bad. It's very tempting with anxiety to avoid certain situations, and while that may help in the short term, in the long term it may only increase your anxiety and avoidance behaviour (as you have noticed with avoiding stores and going somewhere else).

Anxious thoughts can spoil our mood, especially if we are looking forward to something. But the trick is to challenge those thoughts and make them less negative, and more realistic instead.

Best of luck with the college visit and enjoy yourself too!

[organizedchaos]

Celyn,

Thanks so much for the advice it was great, but unfortunately I didn't get it until just now and I'm home again. It's my own fault for posting it so soon before I left lol.

Luckily though I got there and it was amazing! I'm seriously considering the college now because the campus was great, the only thing I really dislike is the food (I'm a fairly picky eater though) and the location.

We left Friday afternoon and I didn't eat anything I was so nervous, but I calmed down when we picked the family friend, Evan, and his Mom up because they just got 2 new adorable kittens that are the cutest freaking things on the face of the planet and I got to pet them!!!! We got to the campus and for the rest of the afternoon I just hung out with Evan, but later we separated after dinner to stop by our dorms before heading to the start of the fun activities.

It had started raining and as I was leaving the building a girl was opening an umbrella and I made a funny joke about how I had forgotten mine at home, and she laughed and let me walk with her under hers! Then her, Evan, and me hung out for a while. It was great at first, but then it became apparent I had little in common with them, and they had so much in common with each other.

With the first hour gone until curfew I decided to venture out on my own, so I said I was going to the bathroom (neither really noticed I was leaving) and walked around until I found this cool room with a DJ and people dancing, and on the other side was a bunch of pool and air hockey tables. I sort of walked around the room and then sat for a while on the edge talking to my cousin. Then this guy asked if anyone wanted to play air hockey so I did and we started hanging out and playing that together.

His name was Ron, and after a while this other kid Julian started hanging out too. The two of them were so much fun and we ended up hanging out that second hour playing some air hockey, and right before curfew walked back to the dorms together. It was raining again, but Ron had an umbrella and I lucked out (once again) because he shared it with me, and Julian liked walking in the rain so he was happy too!

Then I was able to hang out with my roommate Maddie and her friend Lucy when I got back to our room. They were great and we stayed up until like 1 AM just hanging out. Then I had breakfast and lunch with them the next day and we tried to walk with each other to all our workshops, but that was hard because we all had different ones.

It was so nice to be around other people for a change and be social like I used to be before being scarred by all the assholes at my school. Literally once I walked into the giant room they were doing check-in at I felt so excited I forgot about being nervous about kids from my school. I don't think any were even there, and if they were I didn't see them so that's all that matters!

Thanks again for your advice though, it's still helpful because even though the weekend was great I know I'm going to get anxious over my old school in the future at some point. Now to relax I can just try to logic it out in my head and look at the odds of them being there so I don't freak out before I even get somewhere!

Kay