College

[Racso]

I recently finished my second full year of college and I feel like I have completely wasted the experience so far. Going into my freshman year I had numerous goals and expectations for myself and I have achieved nothing. I wake up every morning hating myself for achieving nothing. I have failed two classes and have fallen to the disaster of laziness and procrastination. I do not feel as if my friends support me, as they usually only care about getting me to go out with them on the weekends because I am "fun to party with." I literally have no idea what I am doing and feel as if I am just wasting my mother's money on some damn liberal arts education. I wish I could go back in time and change so much. I get anxiety attacks now and again over how stressed and worried I am about my future. I am depressed all the time and find myself putting on a fake smile for everyone I come into contact with during the day. I need honest advice. I do not need to hear the same old bullshit "everything will be ok." Because in all reality it will not be. I need legit and honest advice.

[Kate*]

Hey there and welcome Sorry to hear you've had a rough couple of years. I think the best thing you can do is take some time off and consider professional help, if you aren't getting it already. If you're hating yourself and having anxiety attacks then I think it's worth it. College will always be there, but you can't get what you want or need out of it if you're struggling like this. If people in your life question what you're doing, decide on a limited amount of time (a semester or year) and say that you have some things you need to sort out before you go back and you want to make sure you're there for the right reasons. Once you're feeling better and have a better idea of what you really want, you can decide whether or not you want to go back. You could also see someone through your school, which would be a lot cheaper, but probably less accessible and you probably have to be actively enrolled for that to be an option.