I am unhappy. Feel like work is the main root.

[Benjinger]

Hi everyone, I am Ben and I live in the UK. I have recently left sixth form and was placed with the choice of university or work.
I chose the latter in the form of an apprenticeship. The wage for an apprenticeship is a lot lower than normal wages, I probably earn less money than some of my friends get for working half as much as I do.
I work about a 2 hour commute away as I cannot drive and have to get a bus to the station a train walk 2 miles and then another bus before I can start work. This joirney would take me 15-20 minutes driving and I have had 6 driving lessons so far.
I am an IT support apprentice and the business I work for is very small. This means that often everyone else around me is busy and they don't have the time to teach me, which is essentially what an apprenticeship is about. This means I spend a lot of my time doing.... nothing. I spend a lot of money and time getting there to do nothing for all my time. When I get given a task I can do I relish it because I feel like I am getting somewhere but in the grand scheme I am not.
I know that this is all a means to an end and that once I finish this apprenticeship I can move on... but to what?
The guy I work with was an apprentice before and he's been stuck at this place for 5 years now since his finished.
We all hate my boss because he is a very hard guy to get along with.
On top of all this most of my friends have moved away for university and I rarely get to see them because if they are back I'm working. I have very little time to spend with the friends that are here because they work weekend jobs.
This is a full time adult job for someone much older than me, I'm 18 and I keep thinking this is not what I should be doing I should be enjoying life while I'm still young and I am really not.
I can't stop thinking about my ex girlfriend who I messed up with and I know I'll never find someone like her again.
I am depressed.
I am unhappy.
I feel like everything I have mentioned and more is amassing upon me and looming over me like a great tidal wave or a thunderous stormy grey cloud.
I take a lot of sick days and make excuses because I know there is no point me going all that way to do nothing but when I take days off I have to 'pretend' to be ill anyway so I can't do anything then either.
I feel like I am now stuck doing this forever and will never be able to enjoy the things my other friends can because they have gone to uni and met new people and are living their own lives.
To some this may not seem like a huge problem but it's weighing me down and I don't know who else to talk to because I don't want to burden my family or friends with these kind of things.

I don't know if there is anything anyone can say to this as ... a solution or just to try and make me see the bright side (I was happy for the second and third months of this job but the first fourth and fifth were tough on me).

Thank you.

- Ben the actually unhappy happy guy

[Celyn]

Hi Ben (and welcome to TeenHelp!)

I imagine it would feel frustrating for anyone to be spending a lot of time and money investing in an apprenticeship when you get paid less than what you would if you were working, and you feel you don't get taught much because everyone else is busy. On top of that, not getting on with your boss and generally feeling unhappy is bound to get to you. How long have you got left there?

Just because one of the people you work with finished their apprenticeship and worked there afterwards, it doesn't mean you have to do exactly that either. It sounds like you are having conflicting thoughts about wanting to do something more than an apprenticeship, but not wanting to feel confined to a full time job and not being able to see friends. Age doesn't really come into it, although it's good to try to enjoy life no matter how old you are.

As for your ex girlfriend, it sucks that it didn't work out, but as you said, you are young and I'm sure you'll meet other girls throughout your life. Dealing with a break up is bound to get you down, but if you feel depressed in general, it's good to talk to someone how you feel. Wondering how you would feel about getting counselling? It can help with managing stress, depression and uncertainty in our lives.

What are your plans after finishing the apprenticeship? Perhaps thinking about what you want to do in terms of working, and figuring out how you would balance that with free time may help a bit.

[Benjinger]

Hi again,
I think that could be one of the issues, that I don't know where I want to go once I finish or what I want to do.
I finish in another 7 months or so but I could continue onto the next level of apprenticeship which they'd most likely keep me on where I am for another 2 years.
Personally I don't really want counselling just because I don't really think it would help me.
Think it's just going to take me some time to get over the girlfriend thing but as you say I'll meet new people.

Just your reply and being able to communicate like this has consolidated my problems for me and made me feel better.

Thank you.

Ben

I don't live in the UK so I don't know how all this works but can you tell the person in charge of your placement that it's not working and ask them if they can put you with another company. It sounds like the place you are at isn't helping you accomplish or learn anything so if transferring is an option maybe you can do that.

However, if that is not an option I would say that you should try and stick it out because you only have seven months left and then you can move forward. The thing is that just because there is one person at the company who has been stuck there doesn't mean you'll be stuck there. There will probably be a lot of options for you once you get done with the apprenticeship.