What will happen if i tell the school counselor I'm suicidal?

[memyselfandi98]

Hey folks.

I need advice quick because I think I might tell my school counselor that somethings up.. I don't know if I'll tell her I'm suicidal or not because Im going to New York in two weeks and if I can make it that long, I want to go but I'm afraid if I tell my counselor I'm suicidal (very.. drove to a bridge today..) then I won't be able to go to New York because they'll put me in a ward...

Will they put me in a ward? Should I just go tell her that I'm depressed and not mention suicide or sh? I need help but I really really don't want it. For more than like 4 months I've been debating whether or not to talk to her. I also don't want her to tell my mom. If I don't tell her anything life threatening, will she omit telling my mom?

Please help me!!!

[Kate*]

Hey there and welcome

It's always best to be honest when seeking help, but I know how hard it is. She will ask you about suicide etc. If your life is in danger or if you're harming yourself, she will have to tell your mom, it's not her choice. Hospitalization is a last resort and they probably will not do it unless you are an imminent risk to yourself. In other words, only if you're absolutely going to harm yourself, and even if they do, it probably won't be long unless you really need it (typically 3 days.) This would probably make your mom hesitant to let you go to New York regardless though. If you get help, you can always go to New York later or you might be able to work something out that would allow you to go, but it depends on a lot of different things.

[memyselfandi98]

Thanks for your fast feedback!!!!

So if i don't tell her I'm suicidal, she probably won't tell my mom? I think I might go talk to her and just tell her about lack of motivation, etc. so I can at least get help with school work and then after I got to New York, I'll open up to her more. Of course, if I actually go to her and don't wimp out in the first place like I've done so many times before..

[random.swirls]

Hello,

Welcome to TeenHelp .

I think you should definitely be honest even though it is hard to seek help. You could always write down a note to give to your counsellor if that makes it easier. Three years ago when I told my school counsellor that I was suicidal, the counsellor told my head of year, the SENCO (as I am statemented and have SEN, so the TAs were responsible for me at school) and the deputy head. They would tell your mum. Hospital is normally only for about 1or 2 days unless you're at risk of harming yourself. They try to treat it in the community e.g. CAMHS.

Xx

[Not_here]

Hey there,
Traveling tends to change people's outlook on life and even if temporarily, it may make a depressed person feel refreshed (assuming you're traveling for leisure purposes). That being said, she may make a safety contract with you, in which you give her your word that you will keep yourself safe throughout your trip. I don't know exactly what she would do because it depends on her assessment of you, but if going to NY is something you're looking forward to, it is possible she will wait till after to make drastic action. Maybe you can create a plan on what to do if you're in NY and feeling low. Maybe discuss that with her and see what she says about having support while away on a trip.

[Green Yoshi]

Hello there.

I just think that it's better to be honest regarding this issue, because the sooner you let her know, the better. I know that it's sorta scary opening up to her, but think of how you'll feel after you tell someone. You are worth it... just remember to stay safe, and be open. If you let supportive people know what you're going through, chances are that they'll assist you and try to help you rather than look down on you or talk stupid shit. The ones who do stupid things like that aren't worth thinking about anyway.

Also, perhaps you could stay in contact with her throughout your trip to New York so that you can enjoy yourself as well as remain safe in the meantime. Most of all, your counselor and your parents just want the best for you.. so remember that whatever happens.. it's for the best. Stay safe, and remember that you're loved.

I got your back too so feel free to rant away to me !

[EMOKId420]

Tell your counslor.

[Thatnewgirl]

It's always helpful to be honest, especially to yourself. Sounds like you really want to go to New York so shouldn't that give you something to live for? If you don't think you can wait that long and feel really suicidal then tell the counselor. They will most likely put you in a behavioral center. Depending on how you improve though you may not be in there that long. I was only in for less than a week. However even if you get out before your trip your parents may then be reluctant to let you go to New York. I would think about this carefully. Don't try and kill yourself though if you feel as though you are going to you need to tell someone.

Be safe.

[Palmolive]

Hey there.

I'm so glad you're thinking about talking to your school counsellor. It's always best to be honest when getting help so you can get the support that appropriate for you.

Because of your age, I doubt they will tell your parents. If you're not actually eighteen but are under that age the they may have to do so. If you live in England for example, it can be quite hard to be admitted to a ward or it is where I live anyway. Where as in America you can tend to be admitted quite easily but I'm not sure where you are. I've had twelve inpatient stays so if you want to talk to be about it, please feel free.

I just really want you to get the help you need and by talking to your school counsellor, this could be the start of it. You deserve the help and support. Okay? You don't deserve to be suffering alone and I'd hate for anything g to happen to you. If you feel at very high risk then I suggest you go to your local emergency department or call emergency services for some help. In the meantime, talk to those around you, us and a counsellor, and helplines, use distractions, and skills etc and keep fighting. I believe in you.

Jessie

My suggestion would be to do it. More opinions and perspectives is always a good thing and your safety rules over it all.

I told the school counselor about my problems and there were a few times when my mom had to be involved but that was when it got serious. I mean, if he/she does have to get your parents involved, it's only for your safety. I think it'd be smart to go head and tell. Hope this helped. And if it didn't, I'm sorry I'm having a bad day. Stay strong.

[memyselfandi98]

Thank you all so so much. After another week of deliberation, I emailed her asking if I were to talk to her about "something" would she then have to tell my mom. She told me she would only have to if I were a danger to myself or those around me or if I was hurt by someone else. She then asked if I was still going to come in and talk to her and I haven't responded yet... If I say no then she knows its because of one of those three things and she might pull me out of class and make me talk to her, but if I say yes and I don't feel comfortable opening up to her so I have to make up something, then I'll just feel even worse. URG. I shouldn't have emailed her because now she's got me cornered.

[Kate*]

If you are't comfortable with her (yet) that's perfectly okay. It's better to tell her that than to make something up. Maybe agree to see her just to become more comfortable and then decide. If she asks you about it though, it's always best to be honest with her.

[Sophrosyne]

Hey,

Normally the rule of if you are a danger to yourself, someone else, or someone else is hurting you, is the one they follow and if you ask them what the rule is and don't talk to them I'm sure they won't mind. They have probably had it happen to them plenty of times before and will probably figure out that you just aren't comfortable with them yet.

It's better not to make something up just to talk to them for several reasons actually. You don't want to get them worried about something, and considering you had to ask if they were going to talk to your parents, they probably figure its something that is worth worrying about and you making something up will just make them worry more as they will probably just know that you were making it up. If they ask you questions about it and you don't have the answers, that's just another reason to not make something up. Unless you plan out every single question that you are likely to be asked and find answers for them all, plus extras 'just in case', I don't think it is wise to just make something up. For me, I just wouldn't want to lie to them. Why would you lie to someone who want's to help you? It's easier just to tell them you aren't comfortable with them.

No matter if you decide to talk to them or not, I hope it goes well. I hope you're okay as well, and don't forget that we are always here if you need to talk.
Take care.

[Green Yoshi]

Best to talk to her and let her know what's going through. Because if you are kind of thinking of negative thoughts, the best thing to do is to let someone else know about it. The fear is always going to be there at first, and it's something to overcome... but it's always better to get support than to not have support.

You might find it better if you tell her the truth, but slowly let her know about things so that she eventually gets the whole picture.. that might make telling her about the matter at hand less daunting when you talk about it piece by piece. However, the feeling of release you get from letting out all of your worries at once is good, too. Also, perhaps you could talk to her and try to arrange a time when no one is around to have a good, private chat. That might make it easier for you to open up.

Most of all, just remember that your safety is the most important topic Always be comfortable, and don't doubt yourself. Every step you take to help yourself is a step in the right direction! Most of all, I'm here for you too!