School

[Treble]

So I have depression and anxiety and also issues with food but I don't know if it's a full blown eating disorder or just part of my depression...

I hate going to school. I don't mind learning, and as long as I'm not in a terrible mood I can study by myself ok, but being surrounded by people all day is so draining. Especially at lunch time, the lunch room is so noisy, there's like 200 people all crammed into one room and we're all squished together and there's music playing loudly and I can't eat infront of people anyway. My therapist phoned my vice principal and told her that she thought I needed somewhere to go at lunch time if I feel like I need to get away from people and she just responded with "you'll be fine just stay with your friends" and I was just like yeah that's not how it works. Today I walked in the lunch room, felt everyone staring at me and left, had a panic attack and burst into tears infront of the nurse and made a complete idiot of myself it was awful and humiliating.

I stayed off school on Monday and I really really really don't want to go tomorrow even though I have to, I have literally no support so if I have a panic attack or go into one of my weird psychotic self destructive moods then I feel like people will just think I'm being weird and not take me seriously. And now I'm getting anxiety about getting anxiety... Ahhhh don't know what to do

Hey there.

I'm sorry you're having lots of difficulties at school. It sounds really hard for you.

Have you spoken to your therapist about how you're concerned you may have an eating disorder? Along with that, have you told your therapist about how bad your anxiety is and if she has any helpful ideas on coping with it during school?

As for eating in front of others, have you talked to your teacher personally and explained it's not as simple as just staying with your friends? Hopefully some other arrangement could be made. Long-term speaking, do you think it would help to take steps in gently easing out of your comfort zone so you feel more at ease to be able to eat around others? I realize it can't be easy because otherwise you would be able to do it with no problem. It might feel impossible to overcome but you can do it with time and effort. Something that would help is to do little things that scare you and move up to the bigger thing such as eating lunch at school. How about eating around small groups of people at first and working your way up from there? Eventually it might begin to come more easily to you.

Is there a specific teacher or maybe your school counselor that you could talk to about this? Perhaps you could ask them if you can go talk to them when you feel a panic attack coming so that you do have a source of support. On the note of support, can you wait till you and your friends are alone (not in a crowded lunchroom or school halls) and take time to explain your struggles to your friends so they understand? Hopefully if they understood, they'd provide support to you and you also wouldn't feel anxiety over wondering if they think you're being weird. As for everyone else, I don't think their thoughts are that you're "being weird". I imagine a lot more people than you think have their own struggles as well so even if they don't display it, they may understand better than you know.

Are there any classes at school or any school activities (clubs, sports, extra classes etc) that you'd be interested in? I thought that if you had things to look forward to that it'd make school more enjoyable for you rather than a source of anxiety.

Hope this helped somehow and that school becomes easier for you soon. Take care.

[Palmolive]

Hi there.

I'm sorry things are so tough for you right now and that you are going through this but I am so glad you're reaching out for help. That's amazing.

A lot of schools now have pastoral support teams. Do you know if your school has one? I know mine did and they, especially one person in the team, were really helpful. I know it can be hard reaching out and trying to talk to people but you don't deserve to go through this all alone. Schools can have people in who are really supportive and your school may even have a counselor (I would think so!) who would be able to help you.

Have you talked to your parents about whats going on? Again I know it would be a hard one but they love you and care about you and will want to be helping you and I think it's worth considering talking to them about what you are struggling with at the moment so they can fight with you to get you the right and correct support that you need. You shouldn't have to fight this alone.

And remember we're here for you too. If there is anything you want to talk to us about know we're here to listen and support you. I don't know if anything has triggered all of this but if it has, we won't judge you, okay? We just want you to be well and to get better.

Stay fighting. You can do this and you aren't alone.
Jessie