He'll go to college, I'll be a HS Senior.

[Butter]

My boyfriend and I have been dating since the seventh grade. What started off as pity dating because my emotionally abusive ex boyfriend dumped me and I had nothing left to lose turned into the most important thing in my life. I have always had a hard time clicking with people emotionally. We just got along so well. We are often known to be inseparable. We really don't have any other close friends, we have buddies that we play online games with, but nobody shares a relationship with us that holds a candle to the relationship we have with each other. We are each other's best friends. It's almost a perfect relationship.

Almost. He is a full year ahead of me. He is a star student and can get into almost any college he can afford. He has his eye on the same places his older brother went to, roughly 30 minutes away from where we live. I am happy for him, but I am almost scared. We spend almost every minute with eachother. He is the only person that I can sit around and not feel any anxiety. It is worth mentioning I have crippling anxiety that affects me at every moment of the day. If he rides his bike home, and doesn't text me back for a while after that, I immediately jump to the worst possible conclusion. He was probably hit by a car, murdered, hit by a train, beat up, etc. While what actually happened is that he went to get a haircut. I am not worried at all that he will find another girl, because I know he won't. I'm more worried about the separation from him and this new independence, which I don't want at all.

Not only that, but it's hard for me. I have a fear of growing up in general. Probably more of an anxiety than a fear. But I don't like seeing the round faced 8th grade boy with braces and long blond hair turn into this big collage kid who has to shave 3 times a week with longer blond hair. I still see him as a kid to me I know that he sees me the same way. I don't want to grow up yet, and seeing him grow up makes me know that soon I will have to too.

How will I deal with this new separation, and how will I get through my day and not worry that he was murdered or something for every second of it?

(I have tried reassureance with my anxiety. I've had anxiety since I was 8 and let me tell you, trying to convince myself it's a small possibility if any is near impossible.)

I have a lot of anxiety as well. I think that can play a huge role in how you handle this. But, I would like to think that the both of you can get through this together.

My boyfriend and I only see each other on the weekends and if I have to go a weekend without seeing him I get really anxious. I start thinking really negative things like he'll leave when rationally I know that isn't on his mind. He's more dedicated to me then anyone I have met. He wants this relationship to work.

I think being away from someone you are close to is going to be tough. This person has become a big part of your life and, soon enough, that is going to change. However, maybe this will be a positive for you. Sometimes when you have anxiety the best thing you can do is expose yourself to the thing you are afraid of and come to the realization that it isn't the worst thing ever.

My boyfriend and I have gone two separate weekends without seeing each other. It was difficult the first weekend but I understood that he had plans to do something with a friend. The second weekend we didn't see each other was just last week and I was super anxious about it but I knew I had nothing to worry about and we got through it. The more I am exposed to the things I worry about the more I realize it is not as big of a deal as my anxiety is making it out to be. So, it is possible that this separation will help you and like every relationship time apart can be beneficial.

Have you two talked about what you will do if he goes to this college? How will it impact your relationship? How are you two going to go about scheduling time for one another? How often will you communicate? I think talking about these things and having a 'plan' for when it happens can be a good idea.

I know that my boyfriend didn't always have the schedule he has now and before he went to this schedule we talked a lot about how it would impact our relationship and what we would do to try and make it easier. The relationship was new at that point so I was concerned he would leave. He assured me he wouldn't and then we talked about the fact that we would text and have the weekends together. This helped immensely with the anxiety I was feeling and when it happened I was prepared for it. Not seeing him for a weekend still gets me thrown off but I am trying to get used to that and he doesn't make a habit out of it.

I honestly couldn't think of anything else to suggest. We have different anxieties but anxiety can be similar in the way it presents itself. If I don't hear from my boyfriend I start to think negative things and worry like you do. So, hopefully this helped a bit and hopefully you will be able to work through this.

[Coffee.]

So my partner and I began dating in high school, and through that, we've gone to colleges thousands of miles apart, I studied abroad for a few months and we were across the world, he's traveled the country on tour, and now he is joining the Marines while I'm moving across the country for graduate school. I guess it's safe to say that I've done long distance in many different ways, and yes, it can work. But I have a few concerns. I think you need to evaluate the healthiness of your attachment. This is not to say that I believe that you and your boyfriend are an unhealthy relationship or need to break up (you seem happy and very healthy!), but you need other friends, and you need to make sure your anxiety is taken care of in other ways besides him. I hate to say it, but he may not always be there in your life. You two could break up. He may study abroad for a year. Things happen, and you need to be okay with being alone and having other ways to cope. Have you thought about getting help with your anxiety? Maybe socializing more and making more friends? In general, you need coping mechanisms with your anxiety and realize that when he's away, you can't be worrying where he is at every waking moment. You also cannot be living your life on Skype. You need to live your own lives and share them with each other when you can until you are able to live together. I look forward to hearing about my partner's adventures and he enjoys hearing about mine-we complement each other, and push each other to explore the world and be our best selves. You need to invest to make sure you're your best self.

Sorry, this was a bit rambly. If you want any clarification, let me know!