I AM SO EMBARESSED TO GO TO SCHOOL

[Manjima]

ok so im 16..i have done many mistakes in my past like falling for two guys who i thought i loved at that time but then both of them rejected me ...so i tried to kill myself twice because i felt so worthless that nobody wants to date me cause im fat and ugly and i was so desperate for love..i have been depressed for two years now.as a result i have not been able to concentrate on school so i have to repeat the tenth grade but the problem is i always was a good student and all the teachers love me..and the teachers at my school ask a lot of questions about my past ..and i dont think i will be a able to answer them. and i have to take classes with my juniors..They have always looked up to me because some of my teachers used to brag about me..im just so scared to go to school cause i feel they will ask me why i depressed..why i tried to kill myself...because of the two stupid boys.and i have wasted one year of my education.but the truth is because i felt worthless and cheap and because my grades were dropping...im just too embarassed to go to school cause they will ask me all sorts of questions and i am ashamed of the poor choices that i made..and im done with dating..i dont think i will be able to trust anyone anymore...just so you know

[hocus pocus]

Hi there and welcome to TeenHelp.

Everyone makes mistakes at some point in their lives and the good thing about mistakes is that you can learn a lot from them. Remember that the mistakes you've made most definitely do not define who you are as a person, but they can help to shape you for the better. Just remember that you are not your mistakes. You're so much more than the past.

Repeating a grade must be challenging, but your health has to come first. You can make up for school later but your precious life cannot be replaced. All you can do regarding school is to try to do the best you can do despite everything going on in your life. Don't be afraid to reach out for academic help if you need it. It's perfectly okay to tell your teachers or anyone that asks anything that you have no desire to talk about these painful things. It's up to you to decide if or when you want to reveal your struggles and what parts you prefer to reveal. So, if someone asks you something that you don't want to talk about, just tell them that you're not comfortable discussing it.

I understand the feelings of embarrassment, but I can assure you that most of your other classmates have done something that they wish they hadn't. A lot of other people are fighting battles that aren't apparent to everyone else; you're not alone in this.

I'm assuming you've received some sort of help for your depression and suicide attempts, but if you have not, please talk to someone that you trust so you can get the help that you deserve.

[MWF]

You sound like an Indian girl version of high school me; what you wrote was the same thing I would've written myself. What I would tell you, though, is that you shouldnt automatically close yourself off from people. If your teachers want to help, and if you think they can keep a secret, I'd say give it a shot and tell them how you feel. You don't have to tell them everything. I confided in one of my teachers in high school and she became more motherly to me than my own mother, it was great.
To me, it sounds like you need some support. I think you should take it.

[Manjima]

Thank you Robert and Cassiopeia...I have come to realize that they dont really need an explanation...some things are better concealed...and i will try my best to keep my grades up like before...Thank you so much all of you..

[hocus pocus]

If you find those questions uncomfortable to discuss, you are not obligated to answer them if you don't want to. However, if you want to receive help and support for what you're going through then by all means, do talk to someone about it. It's better to talk to someone or to express how you're feeling than it is to keep it inside.