Female Advice Preferred: New school, Bad experiences

[BallerinaLauren]

Hi, I really don't want this to sound stupid so I'm even reluctant to ask it on an anon website. This summer, my family moved. I've lived in the same house my whole life, and I've gone to the same k-8 school all my life. I'm going into 8th grade. The past couple years have been hard for me- I was friends with some bad people and I was influenced by them, and eventually I started drifting away, and then they turned on me. They spread rumors about me taking "special" medicine, me being lesbian, and talked about me behind my back. I was nothing but nice to them. Another group of girls was constantly being insulting. They insulted my bra size, my hair color, my voice, my height, and were flat out rude. I was never popular. The biggest amount of friends I've really ever had at once was probably about four or five, and I don't even think they liked me. I m pretty sure they were just being nice. I tried everything, everyone, did anything I could, but no one ever liked me. Now, I'm going to a bigger school with prettier girls and more people. I'm really scared that this will happen all oer again and my high school/8th grade experience will be just as bad. School starts the 18th. I'm afraid that I'll sit with people who aren't as friendly and I'll have the bottom of the ladder experience again, and I don't want to be bullied anymore. Yes, I have cut. Yes, I am underweight. Yes, I have dyed my hair multiple times trying to please, changed my style to blend in, and have cried to myself on multiple occasions. I'm not a snob. I'm not a mean person. I just want to be able to look back and smile, have friends. Even maybe have someone look up to me once in a while. I'm really scared. Someone please give me advice.

Hey there,

It is understandable that you are scared but the best thing to do is to go to this new school with your head held high and try and be as friendly and social as possible. If this school has any clubs try and join some so that you can work on making friends that way. You had a really bad experience at your old school but that doesn't mean that this new school is going to be like that. It is possible that some of the kids at this school are going to be interested in getting to know you.

I would suggest that you try and work on accepting yourself and being you. The people that matter will like you for you. I know this is a hard one because you have gone so long trying to fit in.

I hope that this helped in some way and I am wishing you the best of luck.

[hocus pocus]

Hi there and welcome to TeenHelp!

I can definitely understand your situation as I have moved a lot and going to a new school can be scary sometimes. The cool thing attending a school is that you can 'reinvent' yourself. I'm not saying to change yourself because you're amazing the way you are! I just mean that depending on how far you've moved, little to no amount of people will likely know who you are; it's like a clean slate in ways, a fresh start to let your true self shine.

You may have heard this before but as far as friends go, it's quality over quantity. You don't need to have a lot of friends or be well known. It's better to have one or two amazing close friends that you can count on. As mentioned above, I think you should put yourself out there by joining clubs to meet people with similar interests. Chances are, people will be interested in you and the things you have in common!

Do you know why you harm yourself? Identifying your triggers is an important part of staying self-harm free. If you're able to identify your triggers you can figure out how to work through them. Here is a page of alternatives that you should check out when you're feeling low.

If you ever need someone to talk to you can send me a message.

[xxpaigiexx]

Hey there,

I can understand why you're reluctant to go to school due to your past experiences. There is nothing wrong with being slender and I'm sure there is nothing wrong with your hair, the world would be a boring place if we were all the same. People come in different shapes and sizes and as much as we try to fight it sometimes we're just the way we were intended to be. I think you should look upon this new school as a fresh start. I'm sure there will be plenty of nice new people to meet. Just go in there with your head held high and be friendly and approachable and I'm sure you'll have friends in no time at all.

I'm always here if you need a chat.

Paige