updates on college deciding process...

[Ambiance]

I went to a state university in the south for the first semester of my freshman year, had a mental breakdown, came to California to stay with my sister for a while... I had posted a thread recently debating whether I wanted to move back or stay here. There is an element to everything that I don't believe I was taking into account when I posted it.

So, I was going to a 4 year university there. I loved my classes and I had a cool friend group. I just ended up having a mental breakdown over a failed relationship, a math class that I felt I was surely going to fail, and a few miscellaneous side-stresses. The city itself was just a little bit depressing to me, as well, but for the state I was living in, I was in one of the most fun and exciting areas imaginable.

Here, I signed up to attend two classes at a community college. Needless to say, I haven't met many people my own age at school. I did get a very cool job that I expect to enjoy immensely just this week that is literally on the same block as my school, and also an area I have considered moving to when I move out from my sister's apartment.

So, all financial factors aside, here is what I am considering when thinking of whether I should move back or not:

The place I was going to school. It was in the south. But it was pretty groovy. It wasn't like a huge city, but. It was really close to a city that I'm in love with that I will never move to post-graduation because I am definitely not looking to stay in my home-state long-term. But I had the whole college experience there, and a group of friends I really liked, some of which have offered to let me move in with them if I decide to go back, and it was just nice having everything so close together and being able to really focus on school and such. And yet, something about the whole place just didn't really inspire me.

Here, I have felt much more inspired as an artistic person. But it is important to take into consideration that I have not had to work, worry about my ex for the first time in a while, or attend school full time here. These are all types of stresses that I will run into inevitably. The area that I live in is kind of... ah... ghetto? Like, not super. But I miss something about the south. Some kind of freedom that I feel like I'm missing out on. There's more to do here, but it's more difficult to make friends and it's more dangerous. Something about my whole mindset here is just a little better, though, and I suppose that is why it's appealed to me thus far.

Part of me feels that I just didn't invest enough time at my old school, and I would have become more comfortable and happy there and enjoyed the whole four-year-university experience (which I cannot enjoy here due to out of state tuition fees--if I stay here, I will attend community college for the same price as a four year and then transfer as a junior in a year or so as a resident of this state). But part of me also feels that I just haven't invested enough time here, and that a friend group and comfortability with my life here will develop over time as well. Not to mention, there are more artistic opportunities here. In short, there's just something easier about living and networking in the south, but some part of me feels like I'm on more of an adventure here and this option is more balls-y and exciting.

I know ultimately I will have to make this decision for myself, but any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[SpecterH]

You're right: this needs to be a decision that you make on your own. It's going to be very tough to make the decision, indeed, but the decision needs to come from you.

Looking at what you've said, I think that you should stay where you are. Sure, the other stresses are going to come, but you may be better equipped to deal with those stresses if you're happier.

Going to a two-year college and taking only a couple of courses is definitely going to make it harder to befriend other students. So, my advice is to get involved with your college. This is the perfect time to participate in all that your college has to offer; take advantage of these opportunities, because they won't be around once you graduate. With this type of involvement, friendships will certainly come. Joining a club that interests you, for example, will introduce you to people who share at least one similar interest. There are things for every student on the vast majority of college campuses - trust me.

At the end of the day, you need to do what you feel is best for you. If you want to pursue something artistic in the future, California is a great place to be - and that involves going to college in California as well. I've always been told that it would be ideal to go to college in the area that you want to live/work in once you graduate college and start your career. This will put you geographically closer to a lot of networks in the artistic industry, and your college is more likely to have their own connections to this industry as well. It's a phenomenal resource to have.

You will encounter stresses every where, surely, but you'll learn how to deal with them. It seems like you are happier with where you currently live, even though everything might not be perfect. Additionally, I think young people have a lot to gain from moving out on their own, far away from what's most comfortable to them. This provides the opportunity to really grow and develop as an individual; an experience that can't be obtained any other way.

Think about it, make your decision, and don't look back.