Practicality Vs. Happiness? Regarding my location for college.

[Ambiance]

So, I'm from a small town in the south. Which, as you can imagine, is perfectly miserable for some types of people, which it was for me. So, I did dual credit in high school and then attended a semester at a 4 year university. It was a pretty big town, mostly university kids, but still, some stuff to do. It was close to a big city where my now-ex-boyfriend moved, but also close in vicinity to my home town where my parents and Grandmother live. I basically had a mental breakdown because my now-ex-boyfriend totally screwed me over like four times and I was struggling with my math class and deciding what I wanted to major in and feeling pressured a lot... so I decided to come stay with family in California for a semester or so. I'm in love with it here. I would really like to go to school here. But the universities I've considered require 60+ hours for transfer students and I'm only a sophomore credit-wise. And I can't afford out of state fees, even for a community college. I would have to establish residency now and then keep it for a year to get in state tuition. At which point I would be 20, and would have been out of school for a year and a half. Also, I could maybe get an apartment here with others for 700 a month (MAYBE, at best) where as back home, I could find something for 300-400, easy.

I feel like this is too much time to take off for me, personally, but the more I think about moving back home the less appealing it sounds. I'm not sure I want to live in the bay area forever, either, but I like it so much better here. I have three years left at college, and I totally did have friends and things to do there, and I know I wouldn't have to see my ex anywhere... I just hate the weather and the Republican overtones surrounding everything... but on the other hand, it's more economic, like I have a shot at getting through school without being in debt... and it's definitely not all bad... I'm just dreading it, though. I'm not sure if being happy here but dealing with the higher expenses and having to take so much time off of school beats out taking the easy and quicker route and moving back home. I mean, I wouldn't be totally miserable and it would be easier, I guess. But I really do love it here. Input, please?? :3

[SpecterH]

Your decision seems obvious to me. From your post, it is very clear that you would enjoy yourself much more in California than back at your old school. I would never recommend taking the easier, quicker route if there is another route that makes you happier, even if it's more difficult. Life is all about taking chances and being happy. If this is what makes you happy, go for it - even if it takes you another three or four or five years.

Keep in mind that there is no direct route in life, and I think this is something a lot of people forget. We're all brought up to think that life should be extremely linear: high school --> college --> job, with nothing in between. But, that's not the reality of life. And if it is, I feel bad for you. There will be twists and turns in your path; twists and turns that will help you grow and develop as an individual. Even the most successful people in the world have taken such a unique approach to life; their path was certainly not the common road taken, and I truly think that has played a significant role in their current success.

At the end of the day, you need to make the decision that you feel is best for you. What do you value most? Does debt scare you? Where do you see yourself in two year? What about five years? There are a lot of things to think about, for sure, but just remember what I said: you're allowed to part from the set path that you think you're supposed to follow. Even if it takes you the extra year or so, and puts you in a bit of debt, so what? If it'll make you happier, it's worth every penny - and more. All the money in the world wouldn't be enough to make me stay in a place where I was unhappy - even if it was the easier and quicker way out.

Ultimately, do what you feel is best for you. It's not an easy decision, but if you go with your gut, you'll be fine.

[Lionheart]

Well, I would say go for it. Do what makes you more happy! Moving back may be easier, but if its not what truly makes you happy, then it doesn't matter how easy it is, it will still be hard. (hope that makes some sense).
i had to make a similar decision a year ago as well. Go abroad for a year or start university in my home town. Guess what? I was scared, because it cost so much money, I would be away in a foreign country for a whole year and everything seemed so complicated and scary, so I stayed. It would be a lie to say I regret it every single day, 'cause it's ok here, but I still regret it and I'm trying everything to be able to spend at least one semester away from here.

It was the easier and more reasonable way, but not the better one. So, if you feel, like staying will make you more happy do so!

[Ambiance]

I'm just not sure. I miss school and taking so much time out makes me nervous and the stress over the money is going to be really difficult for me... but at the same time I have more networking opportunities here.

[PSY]

People take time off from college/university all the time. It's not necessarily problematic, as long as you use that "off" time wisely! You said you'll have more networking opportunities in California. If that's true, then use your "off" time to find a job that's related to your future line of work, and/or serve as an intern/volunteer with an organization you'd like to work for someday! Some people worry about becoming "rusty" and not knowing how to study after taking more than a year off from college/university. In my opinion, that may be an issue if you're not a proactive or driven person. If you make up your mind to study hard upon returning to college/university, and to utilize the services available to you (e.g., TAs, office hours, tutoring centers), then I'm sure you'll manage to get back into the swing of things. =)

[Ambiance]

Thanks for the advice, everyone! Initially I was actually very nervous about all of this, BUT I have done some math and am very happy to announce that attending a community college HERE and just paying the out of state fees until I meet the criteria of a resident at a university will actually be cheaper in the long-run than moving back to the south! It will be a bit expensive for community college, BUT it will still be cheaper than attending the university I would attend at home for the remainder of my education.

NOW, the only question I have is in regards to my residency here. I know that Oklahoma, for example, will deny residency to students who take more than two classes/semester/year even after that year is up because they don't want people to go there just for the school. Is that applicable in other states? This is the only thing left in my decision making, so if any of you know about this sort of thing, I would so appreciate it!

[PSY]

Do you know which university or universities you would like to attend? If so, then I think your best bet would be to look on their website(s). If you can't find the information, contact them and inquire about the steps needed to establish residency from the university's point-of-view. For example, the University of California, Berkeley lists these requirements on their website. The requirements may be the same for every university, or some universities may have slightly different requirements... but it should be relatively simple to get the information you need. =)