Self Harmed at Work

[DedeTHESeed]

Today, I felt depressed and I went to work - I work as a nurse in a major hospital.

In one of my duties I had to stitch up a person who self harmed, and I got really triggered seeing the deep cuts and blood. I noticed that she had heaps more all over her legs, arms and neck. I tried to keep my tears in but started crying so I got sent out and went to the store room..

I tried to calm myself by counting numbers or squeezing ice in my hands. But it didn't work.. I really needed to do something so I found the surgical blades and self harmed. I only did 2 medium/deepish cuts into my arm...

I felt better but I fainted in work, got sent home earlier than my usual work hours..

I feel shit and disgusted at myself

[Chuuya]

Hey there,

I'm so sorry that you're going through this right now. It sounds like it was a really triggering situation, but you know what? I know you might have messed up and made a mistake, but you've just got to pick yourself up. It was a relapse, we all have them. I've had them too. They suck, but we can't dwell on them. We can't let self harm win. You are so much stronger than self harm, and I know you can get through this.

Does the staff at the hospital know why you started crying, and is there anyway you can talk to them about not seeing patients that are dealing with self harm since it's triggering you? I know it's part of your job, but if it's causing you to be hurt, it might be worth a shot to ask. I think if you opened up to them about it, they'd do everything they can to give you the support you deserve.

Have you tried any alternatives? I know at work it might be a little difficult, but maybe you can sit around people there at work, instead of by yourself so you feel less likely to self harm. Or is there someone that you can talk to at work when you feel bad, or a counselor/therapist that's available to you? I think talking about it might help as well.

I hope this helped a bit, please remember that we're always here to support you no matter what. Good luck and stay strong! Please feel free to send me a message if you ever want to talk as well. My inbox is always open.

[Honorary Pug Girl]

Hey there, don't feel that way about yourself. We all have certain things that may trigger us, and at times we all relapse. The important thing here is that you realize this was wrong, and are doing something about it. Have you thought about maybe carrying an mp3 at work or something with music on it? That way if this happens again you can put your headphones in and listen to music to distract you. Or something of that nature..

The important thing to do is try and get your mind off the thing that is triggering you and back onto something positive. Take whatever makes you happy and apply that whenever you feel the need to self harm becoming strong. You can beat this and you will be fine I promise.<3 PMs are open if you ever need to talk. Stay strong!

Hey there,

I can understand why that triggered you but don't be too hard on yourself because we all have things like this happen. There are things in life that are triggering to each and every one of us and over time we are able to learn to deal with these triggers more and more effectively. I think you were caught off guard by what you saw which gave you even less time to deal with this triggering event. Hopefully in the future if this happens again you will be able to deal with this better because you will be more prepared. The thing to remember is that relapses happen to every single one of us but the most important thing is that you pick yourself up and try again.

Is there anyone you could talk to about what happened? A friend, a family member or another trusted person? I know that might be hard to do but talking to people about what happened might help you cope with the event and work on letting go of some of the feelings you have in regards to your reaction. I know when I react to something in a negative way I try and talk to people about.

I think it would also be good if you check out the Alternatives to Self Harm. It might be helpful for you to work on finding more alternatives to help you work on overcoming the urges that you have. I know that I have been looking at that list a bit more and it has been helping me in recovering from my self harm. The more healthy coping skills you are equipped with the better able you might be at dealing with triggering situations because you can change from one coping mechanism to another until the urge dies down.

I hope this helped and if you need anything please feel free to message me.