Triggering (Suicide): Uni work and suicide ideation?!!

[Speckled Gecko]

Hi,
How on Earth can I do my Uni work to the best of my ability when all I want to do is kill myself? I am NEVER this blunt and i really do apologise, but everytime I try to start my essay that is due very soon I just keep thinking about how there's no point in even trying and I just end up thinking about how i'm not going to be here to find out the results anyway. :/
Arghhh, I'm really sorry, I'd just like to know how people manage to ignore the constant thoughts just so they can get some work done?
Sorry.
Thanks

[MikeG]

Go study with a friend or go to a place with other people. If you feel bored / overwhelmed y suicidal thoughts, just stop wriiting your essay and say "Hi" or talk with your friend. If you have a bit of self-control you can also study much better like this than alone.

[PSY]

Are you currently seeking help for these suicidal thoughts? If you don't have a treatment plan in place, then I can't imagine you're getting as much support as you deserve to have, and that's going to make functioning at EVERY level more difficult. Trying to suppress these thoughts won't work forever. I mean, distracting yourself by spending time with loved ones is great in the short-term, but in the long-term, you'll need to come up with something more concrete.

I know I've had difficulty studying for tests/completing assignments in the past, primarily because I was overcome with anxiety/worry ("What if I don't do well?" "What if this is all in vain?"). Trying to think positively, thinking about all the fun things I could do after getting that work out of the way, really helped. I know you may not feel as if there is anything fun to look forward to in the future... but if you can, try to find something, even if it's as simple as watching a movie with a friend once the assignment has been turned in.

[Lizzie]

I agree with what Psy said. You need to be getting help for how you are feeling. It is going to be next to impossible to get work done when you have suicidal feelings. So, I highly urge you to seek out a school counselor, your general practitioner or a psychologist to help guide you in the direction that is best for you right now.

University can be very rough on everyone, but I think what you are going through more than the normal amount of stress. I think once you start healing you will be able to focus more on your work. And like Psy said, keeping a positive mind and attitude about your work is very crucial. It can be very easy to think "what is this all for" even when you are not having suicidal thoughts. So, just try to keep your head up and seek some help.

[Lorelei]

Hey Sophie,

I've been struggling with this too. I know the stress can be a heart and mind breaker sometimes. :/ Talking to a friend or family member who is supportive and willing to listen can help. Or if you've had success with writing in a journal before, I encourage you to try that. Just yesterday I sat down and wrote out everything that made me feel worse about myself, and then I wrote out the logical things that contradicted those negative thoughts.

For example: "Right now it feels like I can't do anything right and like I'm a idiot. BUT I know that's not true because I have passed tests before and done very well in school. I'm having trouble now, but I am still an intelligent, loving, and honest person."

It also helps to look at WHY you are putting so much pressure on yourself with school. I started to develop the view that I wouldn't be successful in life without a particular GPA, a particular degree from a particular college, etc., etc. But there are always more options than you think, and sometimes what starts out as a backup plan or rejection can turn into something better than you imagined.

In the long term, I agree with the above posters: talk to a professional about this so you can find out the cause of your depression and learn to cope with it. Until then, get those feelings out and away from you. Talk to someone who loves you, who will tell you that you are worth SO much more than your grades. And remind yourself that there is always hope for the future. If nothing else, remember that there are good people and things worth living for, even though the negative feelings hurt right now.

Take care.