College Confusion

[RyceMeleton]

I've recently called the apartments that I planned to stay in during my freshman year of college since I couldn't stay in the aapartments on campus. Today they told me that I couldn't qualify for a room if I didn't have a parent that made 18,000 a month. It's just may dad supporting me and he doesn't make nearly that much. My only options seem to be online classes (which not all of my classes are availiable online) or the campus here in the city that I live in(and stay at home).

I'm not sure why, but I've been having a hard time getting any of my college things straightened out and my family thinks this is all must be happening for some reason, and that God has everything planned out for me. I know I shouldn't worry and I should let God take care of everything, but it's hard. I've been taking care of my younger siblings for almost all of high school and I don't get to go and live my life and actually experience college life on campus.

I've even been thinking that I should have gone to the first school that sent me my acceptance letter and it was the one that I really wanted to go to(they are much more expensive) , but I couldn't as it would have been a financial strain on my family. Now it seems like I've made a HUGE mistake in not going there. I feel like I'm being a baby about this but it's just hard knowing that all your friends will be out enjoying college and you'll be at home.

I'm not sure what to do anymore, I just feel so angry and I can't stop crying. Please help me

[PSY]

Hello, Ryce!

Just to clarify, did you mean to say $1,800 a month? Because $18,000 a month is practically impossible for ANYONE to come up with! It doesn't really matter, though, because it seems you're not going to be able to live in the dorms, regardless of whether it's $1,800 or $18,000.

Living in college dorms for two years was a good experience for me, but honestly, I could have enjoyed my college experience just as much if I had lived at home and commuted. There are pros and cons to each, and ultimately, it's what you make of it. If you decide to go to class and come straight home, then yes, you're probably going to be disappointed with your overall college experience. That would be something YOU would choose to do, though! You can always choose to stay for another hour or two and socialize at a club meeting, or chat with people after class, or watch a sports game. Not living in the dorms will only "ruin" your college experience if you allow it to!

I am a strong believer that college is what you make of it. You could go to the best university in the country, but not gain anything from the experience (other than learning from classes). On the other hand, you could go to a lower-tier university, but get involved in extracurriculars, become an intern for a professor, and find amazing opportunities to volunteer within and around your university. I wouldn't regret the decision you made. It seems like you wanted to save yourself a great deal of financial strain further down the road, and that was probably a very smart decision. Yes, you're hitting some bumps in the road now... but honestly, transitioning into the "college life" isn't always a smooth process. It doesn't matter which program you attend... you have to be proactive and ensure everything works out to the best of your abilities. If something goes wrong, you need to call people and get the information you need, documenting everything along the way. Hey, now you know how important it is to do research about living situations ahead of time! That's a valuable lesson to learn - and while it sucks that things didn't work out, it doesn't suddenly mean your college experience is going to turn into crap.

God has a plan for you, but that doesn't always mean things are going to be easy. Nowhere in the Bible does it state God's believers will have an "easy" time or be "lucky." In fact, quite the opposite is stated... we're guaranteed to struggle! All I can say is to hang in there, and things will work out with time. You may need to endure some frustrating situations for a while, but in the end, you're going to get to where you need to be. You will persevere and enjoy your college experience... if you don't throw in the towel and fret about how things are turning out at this particular moment in time.

[RyceMeleton]

Thank you so much PSY! That helped a lot! And sorry, I dod mean $1,800, not $18,000. This made me feel so much better! I really can't thank you enough! "God has a plan for you, but that doesn't always mean things are going to be easy. Nowhere in the Bible does it state God's believers will have an "easy" time or be "lucky." In fact, quite the opposite is stated... we're guaranteed to struggle!" I forget about that sometimes, so thanks for reminding me-I'm going to be ok no matter what happens.

Hey there,

Are there any other apartments you could look into around your college campus? Some apartments have different requirements for people who are renting. It can be hard to get into an apartment if the person co-signing does not make a certain amount of money. For example, where I live apartments have all types of requirements, if a person has good credit history than they only have to make 3x the rent but if they have bad credit history or no credit they or their co-signer need to make 5x the rent. I suggest you call some apartments and ask what their requirement is. Explain that you are a student and your father will be helping you with the apartment. Most places will explain what your father needs to make in order for you to rent the place.

Another thing you could consider is looking into student apartments in the area. I think that they might have some different requirements for tenants than 'normal' apartments.

Do you think you would feel comfortable looking into sharing a room with someone and or renting someones basement or whatever? This can be a great thing to consider because there are usually less requirements/more leniency. I know the idea of sharing a room with people can be scary but if you were to move in with some other college students like yourself it might be less scary. I am actually going to consider doing this when I transfer to a state college.

Lastly, is it possible to commute? If so why not do that? My first year or so at city college I had to drive 45 minutes there and back. While it did get tiring at times I was still able to go to the college I wanted and it made me happy. And, once you get into college you might find notices on the bulletin boards (most colleges have these) that talk about people needing room mates and stuff. Or, something that can be common is people making friends with classmates and then they decide to room together.

While things may not be going according to plan it will work out. Sometimes we either have to change our plans or go a little further for what we want.

I hope this helped and there wasn't too much rambling involved. And, good luck!!!