All my hard work is gone...

[Jeeajm123]

I didn't cut myself for a month. I made a promise to myself and my best friend that I wouldn't cut myself anymore. I tried some alternatives and they got me to today. I had a break down today and I just cried and cried and I finally gave in and cut myself. And while all of this was happening i just wanted to be gone. I just wanted to get drunk and then cur into a vein and be gone. I just can't believe that I did it. I am soo mad at myself. I broke my promise and now I just feel guilty... I know I need help but no one in my family knows and I don't want then to ever know...

[Chuuya]

Hey there,

First of all, your hard work is not gone, a month is something you should be really proud of. I know relapses are really discouraging, but all we can do is learn from them. It happens to most of the people recovering from Self Harm, me included. I know I felt like you do right now, when I relapsed recently, but I just picked myself back up again, and i'm doing my best. I recommend you do the same!

You should be incredibly proud of yourself for your achievement, and it shows that you can do this. You will get through this. You just have to keep going. I'm glad to know that you tried some alternatives and i'm sorry to say that not all of them work the same for everyone. There are a few that work for some people that have no affect with others! I personally run because I get away from everything, maybe that'd help you too. Here's a list of alternatives: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/

You should try to talk to someone you trust about the self harm, I know you don't want to, but having a support system really does help. It doesn't have to start out with your parents. Tell your friend, a teacher or a counselor. And then maybe they could set up a time for you to talk to your parents about. At least think about it okay?

Stay strong, you can do this! If you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to message me!

[Palmolive]

Hi there,

I'm sorry things sound as though they have been rough for you. Most people in recovery from self harm relapse and although you promised yourself and your best friend you wouldn't hurtn yourself again, you shouldn't feel guilty about it. I would advise against you promising people this in the future though to prevent the feelings of guilt you are having.

Can I ask if there was anything that triggered the urged to hurt yourself? bYou haven't said a lot about what or if anything is going on for you right now but I want you to know that if there is something, and you need to talk to someone about it, that we're always here. We'll listen and we'll do our best to support you through anything causing you distress.

It's absoultely wonderful that you tried using some distractions. I think thats great! Now remember, different things work for different people and it's all abour tiral and error; if something does not help you, don't give up. Keep on trying new things. It might be really good if you keep a list of all the things which you don't feel really help you too.

You can do this and you're worth so much more than the pain you're putting yourself through so keep on fighting and don't be alone. I don't know why you don't want your family to know but remember they care and love you and I feel sure they would want to be able to support you if you let them.

Hang in there,
Jessie

[Terry]

Hey Chloe!

If there's one thing I stress when it comes to self harm recovery, it's that a relapse shouldn't be seen as completely erasing any and all progress made in the timespan between self harm incidents. The point of recovery is to be able to extend the period in between episodes to eventually make that timespan last indefinitely, not to stop cold turkey. Stopping all together rarely is the case. You have to be proud of the length of time that passed in which you were strong enough to not give in to those urges. It should be something that motivates you for the next time, trying to at least beat that timespan you've already achieved, and proving to yourself that you can indeed last long whiles without it. And with more of those clean periods, you will learn to cope without it, like any other addictive behaviour or vice.

That being said, in regards to not wanting your family to know I completely understand that, although it'd honestly be for the best if they did as they could actually pitch in and try to create an environment in which recovery would be easier. Some times we need that little extra push in order to really be on our way to recovery. It's not a burden anyone should bear alone.

If you feel the need, you can always PM me, I'm more than willing to lend an ear and offer up my own personal opinion. Good luck, and stay strong.