Isolating in College (now with roommates!)

[Lorelei]

It's been a while since I've been back on TH, but now I kind of need some advice from people who might have been through something like this.

I'm finishing my freshman year of college. I recently moved into a house with the homeowner and two other renters, and everything is very nice so far. But my problems with depression and anxiety are not going away any time soon, and with that comes isolation and people getting worried.

The past few weeks have been stressful, with moving, finals coming up, and trying to manage the end of freshman year. Today I was basically zoned out and exhausted, and I just isolated. I only left my room to take a shower, go to the restroom, and take the trash out, and at none of those times did I see either of my roommates or the landlady.

A little while ago, the landlady just knocked on my door to say hello and ask if I was okay before she went to bed, because she hadn't seen me all day. I said I was okay and that I didn't think she was home today when I was downstairs, and then we said good night and everything.

I feel awful that people worry about me, or are put off by me. I know it isn't healthy for me to isolate myself. I just get tired like this sometimes and I don't even have the energy to have a normal conversation. I worry that I might be putting one of my roommates off, because I have yet to have any kind of conversation with him, just due to the fact that I'm always tired and anxious about something.

What do I do? I can act normal when I'm on campus and hanging out with my friends, but on days like this I'm just too tired. Needed to rant a little bit, sorry for the long post. Any input is appreciated.. Thanks!

[ilyasviel]

hello.

It's normal to be anxious and depressed when finals are coming up. A lot of things to do and you feel like you have so little time or perhaps you are getting worked up in setting your goals right that are way above.

If you really feel that awful it wouldn't hurt to try to tell them that your finals are coming up and perhaps you are so busy and tired that you haven't hangout or talked to them. I'm sure the landlady would understand why have you been cooped up in your room

Communication is very important in treating depression and anxiety, it would be best if you try to hang out once in a while with you classmates or your room mates, think of it as an outlet for your stress. Being cooped up in your room would just make you think in an endless spiral of negative thoughts.

After the finals be sure you surround yourself with friends or family if you're coming back home. Just try to be a bit more outgoing as it will take your mind off your finals exam results etc...

lastly
you're having depression and anxiety. have you tried or are you currently taking any meds? Perhaps, it could help you by seeing a therapist
or guidance counsellor at your college university I'm sure it'll help you.

[Ab123]

Ik how u feel Im going through same stuff at school. I've had a hard time fitting in at my new school. School has stressed me out to point where I can take it anymore,and Pressure from my parents isn't helping ethier. I'm almost done with finals. After finals are done try doing somthing that reflexes you. Hang out with ur close friends. Try taking ur mind of school. Ik it isn't easy, but u need to keep trying your best.

Good luck on your finals and congrads on survive ur freshman year

I hope this helps

[i_like_black]

Hey,

it's pretty natural to need space and isolate yourself when you're going through stuff like this - chances are you probably just need some rest and some space for your head, so to speak. When I've lived with other people I've often isolated myself as a way to deal with things, I find other people can get very stressful. I re-appear when things calm down though, much as you are likely to do.

Consider getting a whiteboard for your door or some post-it notes - that way you can communicate with your housemates without having to actually come right out and talk to them. You can leave messages saying things like you're tired, or studying, or simply need some space right now and not to worry.

You could also leave the option there for them to organise to hang out with you and get to know you a little bit - just maybe half an hour a week that you can commit to, and doesn't interfere too much with your study and settling in to a new place.

Moving house is always difficult and it's just unfortunate that it's come at the time of your finals, which I can imagine are also very stressful. You'll get through this, and by the time finals are over, you'll probably find you've settled in well and get along with the people you live with.

Best of luck

[Lorelei]

Hey,

Thanks for all your feedback, guys. The landlady has mentioned before that I study very hard and should take more breaks, and in response I have mentioned finals coming up and that I'll be taking a break after. So she knows about that and she's sympathetic to how stressful it is.

I feel weird leaving post-it notes and stuff because to me it feels kind of cold...I rarely see these people during the day anyway. My roommates work full-time and almost always have plans on the weekend. I'm a full-time honors student, and I have plans most weekends also. So going out of my way once in a while when I happen to see them wouldn't be a problem normally. I don't want to set the precedent of being the post-it person. I get along with everyone, and we're all courteous. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. I'm going to make an effort today to talk to my landlady and just mention that I was stressed and tired yesterday.

I have talked to a psychologist on campus and she has been very helpful. I recently had an appointment with a psychologist off-campus and may continue to see her. I have tried medication before and really didn't respond well to it, so I'm a little gun-shy of trying it again. Every psychologist I have talked to recently has said that they think I can do it without meds.

Blah.. I hate dealing with this.

Thanks guys.