Triggering: Should I opt out of this game?

I've been playing RPGs with the same group of friends for about three and a half years now. I've officially been in three games. They make me a little anxious, because I worry I am not good enough at roleplaying my character(s), but I laugh a lot and they're still fun and enjoy playing. Plus it's one of the only times I socialize with multiple friends.

We started a new game at the beginning of August. I was really excited about my character; she's basically a super grumpy lesbian engineer on our ship. I thought I'd have tons of fun with it. However, lately I have been very unwell, in regards to both my mental and physical health. I just spent three weeks in the hospital due to issues with both. I am home now, but game is on Tuesday (we play every other Tuesday) and I don't think I'll be up for going, as I am still pretty sick. It's going to be a very long, slow recovery process and it takes up most of what little energy I have at the moment.

My best friend plays in the games (she's the one who introduced me to the group) and she says the GM will have a place for me, but I think I may be unwell for a while, and I am not sure I want to pop in so late into the game. However, I would be crushed if my health kept me from doing this, because it's a social staple in my life and it's something I find fun. I would probably feel really bad if I skipped out, since this is something I have done for years. I'd feel like I was failing at my life or something. So yes, I don't know what to do. Do I try and play knowing I am not healthy, and will definitely not be at my best, or do I bow out of this game and hope I am better by the time the next one rolls around (which will probably be next summer or so)?

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello Eli,

When we are hanging out with our friends and we are not feeling well or we are going through a hard time, it can be hard sometimes to be with them and enjoy what they are doing. You always want to do what is best for you, if you want to try and go, then go and let them know that you may not stay as long, you just want to talk and be with them for a little bit. This way you are letting them know and you are still hanging out with them. Or if you are not feeling up to going, see if they would be able to come over and watch a movie with you. This way you are at your place and they can come to you. I hope that you will be okay soon. Sending you