Phone anxiety

[Rivière]

I was just reading this thread on conquering phone anxiety. It reminded me of when I was growing up.

I used to struggle to speak to people on the phone as a child, all the way up until I went to university at 25. I used to say I had a 'phobia of the phone' but clearly this wasn't the case. It just gave me a lot of anxiety.

I was perfectly ok answering the phone... to a point. However, when I was required to be the one to make a phone call I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I'd start panicking, my chest would get tight. Sometimes even though the call was important, I'd delay making the call. It'd play on my mind over and over to the point where I just couldn't bring myself to do it and I'd have to get my mum to help me.

In one instance, I was in my mid to late teens and I'd bought some Xbox Live Gold membership as it was on sale for £1 for the first month and then £30 every 3 months after. I found out the only way to cancel the subscription was to call the company and get them to cancel it. I panicked and put off calling so hard that I'd spent £60 in total (6 months of membership) before I finally plucked up the courage to cancel it. It took all of 2 minutes to answer some brief questions and that was the end of it. The subscription was cancelled. It was a hard lesson learned, but also my most memorable.

Did you ever suffer phone anxiety growing up? How did you overcome it? If you're still going through it, what kind of coping mechanisms do you use to help when you can't get help with calling/answering?

[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

Honestly, a few things helped me get through it.

I've been told by a few people to make a script so you have at least a basic outline of things you want to cover and questions you want to ask. Of course you may deviate from the script a little bit depending on how the conversation goes but at least you won't forget to ask anything.

Work has also helped. I hate the phone but now have to make calls for four hours a day That was also scripted though and then we probe more based on people's answers if needed.

I also have had to make a lot of doctor's appointments and my parents told me they weren't going to keep doing it for me, so being thrown into it kind of helped.

I still get nervous and put off certain calls, so sometimes I have to set reminders on my phone so I get tired of them popping up and just do it.

[Kate*]

YES, it's better since I've been on medication (for anxiety and depression in general, not just for this), but I still hate doing it. I'll try every other possible method of contact before calling, and put it off unless it HAS to be done. It's better with places I've called before, or if something happens like when my student loan payment was suddenly increased to more than I could afford for no reason... I immediately picked up the phone and called to figure it out. I guess because I was more anxious over the situation I was calling about than the call itself. And at work it's not as bad. There's a certain way we have to answer, and I only have to take calls I have answers to and there's no putting it off because you're scared.

I have phone anxiety which is one of the reasons COVID has been a struggle. I have had to work from home a bit (still am but doing a hybrid schedule) and everything has been over the phone. I have not gotten over the anxiety; I have just had to deal with it because of my job.


I think having a script helps. The first job I had was all about the phone but in the beginning there was a script that we used extensively. That always helps. Now, when I make a call that is a bit more complex or I am struggling with what to say, I write out a script. I end up going off the script eventually but it does help.


Exposure has always helped but exposure only does so much for my phone anxiety. It is weird because I used to struggle a lot with zoom but then work and class used it or similar platforms...and I am fine with those now. I still get severe anxiety with the phone and it's been a year of mostly phone interaction.

[Everglow.]

I've always had huge phone anxiety to the point where calling in genuinely sick to work used to trigger a full on crying panic attack. I used to have to really build myself up to making calls and most of the time I'd put it off. I had a similar subscription experience where I wasn't using a service I'd signed up to anymore, and despite knowing theonly way to cancel was to make a call, I just cancelled the direct debit online with my bank. I ended up with warning letters and had to pay extra when I did eventually call them because technically it was a small debt by then.

The only thing that's helped me is having no choice but to make calls. At my current job I'm making and answering calls all day. I don't find scripts helpful because if the other person deviates from the script I get flustered. When I'm at work it's almost like acting though. I'm not really me, I'm employed to be this other person who is okay making calls, so I can just do them. Outside of work, although some of the times I am better than I used to be, I still get really anxious making or answering calls, and I never answer a call from a number I don't know. And sometimes I don't answer calls to numbers I do know. It's definitely an anxiety I'm still working on.

[Celyn]

I still have phone anxiety. If I knew I had to make a phone call, I could be anxious and struggle to get to sleep the night before. I wouldn't be able to do anything, apart from try to psych myself up to make the call. I would sometimes write scripts but then I felt that made it worse.

I think I'm getting a little bit better though? My mum and friend sometimes call me and I think having online learning has helped a little. I'll need to make a call in the near future but so far, I'm not anxious about that at the moment, so that's a good sign.

Most of the time I avoid answering the phone and if there are other methods of communication, for example, booking an appointment in person or by email, I'll do that rather than phoning. The work that I want to go into will require me to make and receive calls, but I'm not that anxious at the thought because I know there will be only so many things that clients will ask, so I'm hoping it will kind of become automatic where I know the answers and won't have to scramble around for words

I hate talking on the phone. Other than talking to people I am familiar with — all of whom know better to text or email me instead — I have to talk to strangers or vague acquaintances. I don't recognize voices very well, everyone sounds the same! Also, I am never prepared for how the conversation will go even if it's something simple like ordering food or scheduling transportation.

[Stacey]

I still have phone anxiety but not to the same degree as it was growing up. The biggest factor is that I started a job at an integrative health clinic after university as the clinic manager. That involved calling clients and answer the phone to book appointments, answer inquiries, etc. I'm now fine with work-related phone calls, especially since I've built a rapport with most of the people/clients that I'm on the phone with any given day, but other calls like for personal reasons still give me pause.

The biggest difference for me now is that I can talk myself into doing it, it just might take me a little longer.

[hocus pocus]

I used to love talking on the phone to my friends when I was young. I would hog the house phone and drive my parents nuts.

The last few years I struggled, especially because there are instances where other people have been disrespectful to me on the phone. There was a bad encounter last year pertaining to my health and insurance and I was very panicked at the yelling I heard through the phone.

With that said, I do phone sessions sometimes which have helped but I know the person I am talking with. I've had to make a lot of calls for my medical care, including talking to nurses every so often when I was on a strong medication to make sure I was okay. All these phone calls made me become used to it, I guess.

I still don't like it and avoid it but if I am in the correct mood I can make four or five calls in the same sitting. I also used to absolutely hate leaving voicemails but thankfully that is no longer as bad.

[kirilpopinin]

edited that keeps your number private if it helps you. When talking on the phone, a person loses non-verbal means of communication (facial expressions, gestures, eye expressions, poses, etc.), but all the shortcomings of speech are aggravated. Now the tone, timbre of the voice, intonation are of particular importance. You should pay attention not only to what you say, but also to how you say it in order to understand what psychological state you are in.

[Rika]

I hate talking on the phone too! I've gotten better over the years but still get nervous/anxious calling.

[popinin]

This is the first time I've heard of phone phobia. Usually, people have a hard time communicating over the phone due to a lack of socialization, searching for topics, etc., but this is something new. I have only encountered this problem when meeting people in real life because I find it very difficult to find a topic of conversation and also to start a dialogue with a person, but in moments when there is silence, I just try to tell some funny story from my life, which helps me a lot. I have a lot of friends and I talk to them all the time via VoIP number and facetime.