Hallucinations and Anxiety

[NovoK9]

Lately I haven't been well. I've been talking to Simon and his group a lot. There are about twenty of them. The ground randomly starts shaking a lot. And the ceiling tends to start to melt into the ground. They have been making bad things happen to me a lot lately. They have also been pinching me when I say or do something they don't want me to. I'm getting really annoyed. My worlds have been colliding into one. Everything feels so fake. I have no idea how to deal with it. It feels like one big dream. Or nightmare depending on the day. They've trapped me in a dungeon and are pretending to be someone I care about. Let's call him Bob. Bob is an entity that I fell in love with. They've been torturing me while pretending to be him.

I've also been having a hard time paying attention and being out in public. I have really bad anxiety. Because of my anxiety I tend to not be able to stay out in public for long because a lot of things trigger me. I end up in the bathroom feeling sick to my stomach because of this. Because of this I go to a school where I only have to go two days a week for about two hours each day. I can't even think right anymore because everything feels so fake and because of my anxiety. All of my friends have plans for when they leave high school and I have no idea what to do. I can't even leave my house most of the time. What should I do? I see a psychiatrist and a therapist but we are all at cross roads because I'm med resistant. We were thinking of trying more experimental therapies like equestrian and stuff.

[Celyn]

Anxiety can be difficult to deal with, and I get you with feeling like you can't be out in public for long. I think it can help to go out often but for short amounts of time, and then slowly increase the length of time that you spend outside. The more you do something, the less anxious you'll feel over time, meaning the anxiety won't be dictating your life so much. If you feel sick often, you might want to learn deep breathing exercises. You can find exercises online and on apps. Deep breathing helps to relax your muscles, including the ones in your stomach, so it may help you to feel less sick.

It's also okay to not know what to do after school, so try not to worry or compare yourself to your friends. You are still quite young and no-one has everything that planned out, and the ones that do, often change their mind. It's understandable that given your mental health, you might feel overwhelmed with the thought of life after school. But focus on yourself- what you can do, what you are interested in, what you want to improve on. You'll get there, I'm sure!

It's good that you are seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist, though I'm sorry to hear that you are med resistant, especially when you are trying to deal with hallucinations as well. But I do agree with trying other types of therapy, such as equestrian therapy. I have heard that it can help with anxiety and boosts your self-worth when you develop a good bond with the horse. It's worth looking into and trying out at any rate