This anxiety is completely tearing me apart.

[DisneyGirl]

Hey guys, I've made a couple of posts. This site so far has really impressed me, it seems like a really nice place to talk things out with others. I'm 16 and I have this health anxiety as others have called it. Basically last summer I convinced myself that I had lung cancer. I had a few symptoms, I automatically assumed the worst. That entire summer I was a mess, I thought for sure I was dying. I couldn't enjoy my life at all. The symptoms were so easily associated with simple things but my mind won't let me believe that. Since then Every single symptom that I come across I rush to google which confirms my worst fears. This is a cycle I'm stuck in and since last summer there's no way out of it and it's tearing me apart. Every single week it's something new I think I'm dying from, and my mind truly 100% believes it in that time. A month ago I thought I had a tumor in my neck and I couldn't even eat or sleep for a weekend, I was so terrified. Now I'm having issues with my menstrual cycle, and some new symptoms have popped up tonight so I'm terrified all over again. Of course it's completely natural to worry about health, but not in the way I am. Literally every SINGLE week it's something new that has me absolutely hysterical. Right now I'm convinced I have something else wrong, I have quite a few symptoms. I'm just sitting here in my room, I can't even think about sleeping right now I'm so scared. I researched this crazy mindset I have up, it seems like health anxiety. Treatments to help people with it feel better includes therapy/counseling but I'm too embarrassed to ask my parents to take me to that. They know how bad it has gotten though. My mom makes me feel guilty, I've broke down in tears at times from being so terrified. I hate worrying her. I feel so helpless because I know if something ever was wrong there would be nothing I could do about it. I used to open up to my friends about my fears but they are all so tired of hearing what I'm terrified of this week, I try to keep it to myself and it's hard. This is completely ruining me. I'm so sick of living my life like this but there's no escaping it, God knows I've tried.

[Spirit.]

Hi there,

I'm sorry to hear of what you're going through. I can't begin to imagine what it's doing to the way that you're able to live your everyday life. Having said that, it's incredible to see you striving to get better and keeping yourself afloat. It's really admirable. And most importantly, it's really brave of you to ask for help and talk about what you're going through.

Is the need to google feel like a compulsion? Like, you have to know what's wrong and what the symptoms you've been experiencing are pointing at? Or is it that you believe you have something, google what you think you have, read through the symptoms and find that you're experiencing them?

One of the things I suggest is possibly trying to stop yourself from using google to confirm your fears? There are a lot of diseases and unrelated issues that display very similar symptoms but the circumstance and context are what helps diagnose with specificity. So diagnosing yourself could potentially create an issue, especially if there was actually something to be concerned about and it's not just the paranoia.

Specifically, because of this, it is imperative for you to talk to your mum about talking to a therapist. As embarrassing as it is, it's important that you at least discuss the possibility because it seems to cause such a distressing cycle you have to go through almost all the time. Your mum might worry, but it's likely that as much as she worries, she will be reassured because you'll be getting the help you need. And will start getting better and be able to manage these thoughts and feelings you go through.

If your family is aware of the situation, it will be a good idea to maybe consider getting some psychological help because it will mean you getting better. And you getting better is something that I'm sure everyone will want, you included.

For the moment and maybe in the short term, you could try and keep yourself distracted if you find yourself starting to get anxious about what you're feeling in your body. Maybe, if you're interested in music, make yourself a playlist with songs that make you feel calm and good about yourself. Find something you like doing - whether it's playing a particular sport or if you like art and crafts, take up small projects you can try to keep yourself occupied and your mind far from thinking about what could be wrong with you.

I hope this helps! I hope you feel better!

Take care,
Kaveri