Guilt anxiety

[eckky]

I am moving to Canada with my son and partner in November to stay for a minimum of 3 years (if my visa application is successful) and am looking forward to it as I've always wanted to live there. But ever since I have told my parents they have been so judgmental and guilt trip me any opportunity they get they say things like "you'll be abandoning a big family" or "we'll never get to see you or the baby again"even after me telling them we will be through to visit each year and that they can also make a trip through to stay for a few weeks but that isn't enough for her I guess. She can let me go and it's pissing me off I sit in bed with anxiety being double because of it and it's actually making me second guess "do I stay and leave my kid because of her or say fuck it and leave her to be with my kid?" I know the obvious answer is my kid but with this anxiety its pushing me back. My dad abandoned me at birth so I know what it's like and I don't want to do the same I just can't take this anxiety I'm trying to be firm with my mum and tell her I'm going back for 3 years at least then we'll decide ( about 95% chance I'll stay in Canada but I'm not telling her that) I hate hurting her but I need to get on with my life does anyone have any idea on what I can do?

[hocus pocus]

I'm sorry to hear that your family isn't accepting your decision. It can be tough when they become judgmental like that. I like the idea of sitting down with your parents and telling them how they make you feel when they make comments like that. I think you should tell them that you've made the decision that you feel is best for you and your son.

[eckky]

Originally Posted by Cassado

I'm sorry to hear that your family isn't accepting your decision. It can be tough when they become judgmental like that. I like the idea of sitting down with your parents and telling them how they make you feel when they make comments like that. I think you should tell them that you've made the decision that you feel is best for you and your son.

I have done that on numerous occasions and they still try to guilt me and it's reaching my limit I don't want to miss out an opportunity like this

[Lotus Eater]

Hi Alec,

You should do what you feel is best. If you genuinely want to move to Canada with your son and partner and believe that it's the best thing to be doing for your son and yourself, then go for it.

Your parents are guilt-tripping you because they're finding it difficult to come to terms with the thought of you being so far away (and not being able see or talk to you as regularly), but if you explain wanting to be there for your son because you don't want to do to him what your dad did to you, they might be more understanding of the situation. You could also explain that staying behind and being away from your son is only going to make you unhappy, and they're still not going to be able to see him as regularly even if you do stay behind. I think that, as parents, they'll come around and understand why it is that you feel that you have to go, even if it hurts them to think about it now. After all, at the end of the day, they'll want to see you happy, and if moving to be with your son and partner is something that'll make you happy, then they'll come to accept it.

[Always *]

Moving to Canada would be no different than if you moved to the other side of the USA. It just seems like it'll be a bigger deal because of the whole different country / border control stuff, but it's not like you're moving to Europe or something where the plane tickets are much more expensive.

My point is that you're doing nothing wrong. You're doing what's best for you and you family. Your parents will come to terms with it when it is