Rant: I dont know what to do about my anxiety(possibly panic attacks)

[darkwolf_2020]

Hey guys,
This may just end up being a rant, and i dont't know if this should go into mental health or not, so i apologize ahead of time.

So for my entire life i've been sorta anxious, but the past couple years, and now months , it has been getting worse.

I always just thought i was introverted, and that's why i never hang out with friends even in school. But now i dont ever want to be around people, all i want ever want to do is be alone. I cant think of anything that could have triggered it but over the past month it's gotten really bad, worse than anything before. At first i just though i was a little depressed(i get depressed for a few months every year on average), but it wouldn't go away. I began to isolate myself even more, even from my teachers who im usually pretty close to. I started to hate school, but also hate home which is new. And then my anxiety began to worsen .It wasn't much at first, but it got worse. Now, whenever my teacher says anything to me(evenjsut saying my name) i start to feel my heart race, by breathing quicken, i feel totally nauseas, sometimes get dizzy, get really hot, and my mind starts to race. If it's for simple things it only last a second, and then i can breath to calm myself down, but today it got the worse it has ever been. I think that's why i decied to finaly post.

So today in english we were doing a long term projet of drawing the world(yeah, we do art projects in jr. high)and i just started to freak out, and i mean freak out. My legs started to tap( more like bounce; my foot was still on the ground), uncontrollably. I started to feel sick to the stomach, a kind of dread feeling if you know what i mean. It would come in spurts, like i was doing better, but then i would just start to panic even more. The scariest thing was that it lasted off and on for around 20 minutes, and then i felt off for the next 45 minutes.Sorryn Im not doing the best job explaining this. Anyways, i felt totally helpless, and all i wanted was for it to stop. I think it may have been a mini panick attack, but i really dont know. I forgot to mention, but i've stopped talking unless absolutely nessisary, and if i try to talk to people i have the responces listed way above(including slight studdering).

I wrote another post about how i was thinking of asking for help, and people suggested that if i dont feel comfortable talking i should write a letter to a trusting adult, but even today when i had to leave note explaining that i had to leave early the next day(couldn't even say that), i felt my heart strat to race, and my head get hot.


Sorry for the long rant. This is the only place that i've ever shared anything about whats going on. im not looking for an accualy diagnosis, but in the abstract all i want to know is what's wrong with me because i dont even know why i freak out most of the time, and what i can do without completly losing it.

Thanks for listening to my rant, i just need to start letting this out because i think that it's just making it worse.

I would apreciate any advice, but i really just need suport and a place to rant.

Thanks again.

[Celyn]

Hey there,

I hope that ranting has helped a bit! It is very good to get things out of your system rather than keep them bottled up to yourself.

Anxiety and depression often exist together. When we worry about getting anxious and being in social situations, we might start avoiding people. For a short time, we feel that avoiding others helps us, because we don’t feel anxious anymore. But after a while, anxiety can get worse when we avoid things and we can start to feel depressed, because we might be a bit lonely and we might feel overwhelmed with anxiety.

But anxiety can be controlled. It might help you to realise that anxiety usually starts out with negative or worrying thoughts. When you were doing your art project, was there something that triggered you to get anxious? I find that I get anxious when other people are looking at my work, as I’m scared they are judging me, but otherwise I am ok working on my own. If you do find yourself thinking negatively, try challenging those thoughts. A lot of the time anxiety happens because we worry about what others think of us, or how we perform in front of others. Realising that most of the time, people don’t judge us as they are often thinking of other things, can help relieve some pressure from you. Also, remind yourself of the positive qualities you have (appearance, talent, personality, achievements etc) as this can help you boost your confidence and feel better about yourself, and hopefully, less anxious.

Anxiety also brings a lot of physical symptoms with it too. The symptoms you listed (faster heart rate, breathing, feeling dizzy, nausea etc) are very typical of anxiety. When we worry about things, our body gets ready to ‘fight or flight’ whatever we are worrying about. Our brain thinks we are in danger, so these symptoms are just our body’s response to either fight the danger or run away from it. But actually, there is no real danger. The symptoms can get pretty horrible, I know, but remind yourself that it is only anxiety that is causing you feel like this. You are safe and nothing bad is going to happen. When you begin to accept that it is only anxiety causing you to feel like this, the symptoms get easier to deal with. Doing some deep breathing exercises as soon as you start feeling anxious can help. So too can counting backwards from 100, or rehearsing the alphabet backwards…things that help take your mind off the symptoms, once you realise it’s only anxiety.

When we have repeated anxiety or feel anxious for a while, we may experience panic attacks. This is our body’s way of telling us to slow down, because the anxiety is getting too much to deal with. From what you have described in your English class, does sound like a panic or anxiety attack. I’ve experienced the same thing too, so you aren’t alone in dealing with this at all. As hard as it is, try not to leave the situation. Just keep reminding yourself that you are safe and it’s just a horrible panic attack, but it will pass.

I think it would be really great if you could tell someone about your anxiety and panic attacks. I know approaching people, even with a written note, can be scary and can trigger anxiety. Could you find out where your school’s guidance counsellor is and leave a note with him/her? It’s best to think that even though the anxiety you may experience giving the note will be frustrating to deal with, it will only last a short time, and by taking steps to get help, you will be able to deal with and overcome the anxiety- which is really good!

Take care

[darkwolf_2020]

Thanks for the reply! It means a lot to me to have a new perspective on my situation, and that can be hard to do myself. On the help aspect of my rant, I accualy was pulled aside the morning after I posted this by my teacher who then basicly said i had to go to the guidance counsellor, so i did. he and i talked, but it was awful because i was in a panic attack like state almost the entire time. Anyways he said it was most likely anxiety, and he said that i might have an anxiety disorder because I've had a simmiler experience in fifth grade. He suggested that i go to CBT. Anyways, he wasn't in school today, but he wants to meet for a follow up i think tomorrow(need to find out). he told my parents so i can either see a doctor or get into CBT.But i just can't talk to them. Thanks for the explanation for how i've been feeling, the counsellor was i think purposely vague, but that just made me feel like there was something majorly wrong with me(im over that now) It's close to the end of school, so dont know how things will turn out.

Hope to feel better!!
Thanks for the advice