Children Anxiety?

[SamMarie]

I never really grew up with kids ever. My boyfriend's mother has her own little home daycare. My bf and his mom like kids. Every time I come over my boyfriend's house, there are kids over and I literally feel overwhelmed and go to his room to sort of "hide" from it all. They're noisy and I never really know what to say to them other than hello. I feel like I'm cursed or something because I want to be able to be good with kids, but I'm just not. I want to be a mother someday, but how can I if I feel like this? My bf wondered why when I got to his house when they were all in the living room why I just stayed in his room and didn't go out. I told him there's just too many people there. Kids kinda scare me. And he told me I was weird. I just kind of shrugged it off and changed the subject. Is there something wrong with me?

[Celyn]

Hey Sam,

There’s nothing wrong with you….I know how you feel too, and I want children of my own one day and I want to be a teacher

I think it’s natural to feel overwhelmed with children, if you don’t have lots of experience with them, or if you haven’t had a lot of interaction with them. Children can be quite noisy, demanding, and full of life and energy. They also require a lot of supervision, which requires assertiveness on the adult’s part. If you haven’t spent lots of time with them, all of these things can be quite overwhelming.

I also know how you feel with regards to not knowing what to say to them. I guess it depends on their age. You don’t want to talk down to them, or treat them younger than they are, but at the same time, you don’t want to talk to them like you would with someone your own age.

I think the best thing to do, is to read up/watch videos/watch parents and see how they interact with children. Then perhaps try talking to a child one-on-one and see where it goes. Like any fear or anxiety, repeated exposure to what bothers you will help you to overcome this. Is it just children you have an issue with, or do feel overwhelmed in any situation where there are many people? In either case, take your time. You could spend 5 minutes with the children, and then take a break and retreat for a while. Then take a deep breath and try again.

Lastly, not all children are noisy and overwhelming. Some children prefer being quiet, and naturally, they would see you as another adult, so they may even have similar fears about you. I’m sure that having your own children one day will change how you feel about children in general. If it starts seriously bothering you, you could talk to a counsellor, as they can also help with difficulties involving children and interaction with others.

Take care