Anxiety that takes over

[Lovehatelife23]

I have BAD Anxiety! Its my MOM that i have it over. If I can't get ahold of her, if she doesnt answer her phone, if she's out in her truck driving around & she doesnt answer I GET WORRIED!

If something ever happened to her I WOULD BREAK into PIECES!
She's my Adopted mother but its hard to explain when you have grown up in foster homes. Switching between one another. Not having that PARENT for Support, Love. I grew so close to her. She means everything to me even when we have are arguments I cant stand to see her mad @ me so i have to Apologize a lot to make sure i go to bed knowing shes not mad @ me.

I know what your thinking but its hard to explain...unless you know.

[PSY]

It sounds like your mom means the world to you. She doesn't have to be your biological mother in order to be important to you. I can understand why you would care about her and want to make sure your relationship with her is strong. It's also natural for children to worry about their parents and wonder how they would get through life without them. The problem is that excessive worry can impair your ability to function and enjoy life to the fullest. Do you worry about other people when they don't answer their phones, or just your mom? Do you worry about other people when they're driving, or just your mom? Do you worry about people leaving you after arguments, or just your mom? If you ONLY worry about your mom, then you might want to start addressing those thoughts when you begin to have them. For example:

Action/Event: Your mom doesn't answer her phone.
Belief: You begin to feel anxious and start worrying about what could have happened to her, perhaps assuming the worst (that she's intentionally ignoring you or was in an automobile accident).
Consequence: You can't think about anything else and feel physically/emotionally exhausted until you hear back from her.

This is called the "ABC" model (Action/Event, Belief, Consequence). When this happens, you can challenge or dispute your belief and experience a better consequence as a result. For example:

Action/Event: Your mom doesn't answer her phone.
Belief: You begin to feel anxious and start worrying about what could have happened to her, perhaps assuming the worst (that she's intentionally ignoring you or was in an automobile accident). You stop, take a deep breath, and begin to think of other possibilities. You conclude that your mom is probably just busy and will call you back later on.
Consequence: You relax and go about your day. You might call her the following day if you haven't heard back from her by then, but you don't stress out in the meantime.

See how you can address your worries by taking a slightly different approach? I know this can be difficult to do in the heat of the moment, which is why it's important to practice this technique until it becomes easier for you to challenge or dispute your beliefs! =)

I understand how you begin to feel anxious when she doesn't answer her phone or you don't know her exact location. She doesn't have to be your biological mother, or even adopted, for those negative worries to kick in.

I think Robin provided an excellent tip to help you out whenever your anxiety about your mother kicks in again. Good luck! Feel free to come back and post some more if it doesn't go away or there's improvements.

[Lovehatelife23]

Well i do if they are close to me...like if someone like my Fiance calls & says they are going to commit suicide & that person doesnt answer the phone that worries me a lot bc i sometimes scream out loud that im going to kill my self but never do it. I do worry about the future a lot for myself. Well its mainly my mom bc shes the only one who drives in the family, i have my drivers license but dont have insurance or a vehicle. So ya, i worry wen im not w/ her in the truck wen shes out & about in town. In my city there is a ton of idiots that dont know how to drive so there has been a lot of accidents. Almost 1 in front of us wen i was w/ her one day. I acted like I had the breaks on my side of the truck bc i pushed down to stop...which is weird. In Arguments its different, My mom I always want to make sure her & I are on the good side. Now if its like my dad, my fiance, or cousins or something my "Guilty" gets to me to call or text them to tell them im sorry for what happened. There has been times where If she doesnt answer her phone I would constantly call her until she answers, then if she still doesnt then I call my dad to see if he has heard from her & if he hasnt then i call her again & then still nothing then i will wait but i usually do fall apart sometimes if she doesnt answer the phone. My dad says that shes ok, probably left her phone in the truck or didnt hear it, But still i go crazy until i hear her voice & then once i hear it, takes a load off me makes me feel better knowing shes ok.

Thanks & I will try to work on those things. It will be tough but I'll try. =)