Culture Shock and Anxiety

[brighteyes14]

I am an American who came to a foreign country about a week and a half ago for a few months and I think I am having culture shock. I was alright until yesterday, when I had a very bad day, and now today I can't stop crying.

I don't speak the language here yet, have no friends, no family, and I am living in a very small village. The host family I am staying with is nice, but they always speak in their language, and don't really accept me. They never tell me what they are doing unless I ask, and don't make an effort to include me a lot. Everything keeps going wrong and I want to leave. I don't know why I even chose this country, because I wanted to go to a different one, and it feels like I am wasting my time, but my host family wants me to stay for at least 3 months, preferably longer.

I also had a similar situation with college last year (where I went to one I didn't want on a whim) and was miserable the whole time. I don't have much money to fly back to the USA for visits and I might not even be able to go home for Christmas. The closest city where I could meet people is 20 minutes away and I would have to have my host family drive me. The only things to do here with my free time are either go hiking by myself or sit in my room by myself and go on my computer. I have tried skyping with my family, but the time difference makes it stressful, and difficult. Plus I don't want to burden them with the fact I already hate it here.

I only think about leaving this place, and I don't even want to learn the language at this point. I am extremely stressed and I have even started skipping eating from lack of hunger. Last year while depressed at school I developed a condition where my stomach has issues digesting food from too much anxiety and stress, and I don't want that to get worse. PLEASE HELP I AM DESPERATE.

[PSY]

Hello, and welcome to TeenHelp!

I can imagine how difficult it must be to stay in a country where you don't know the native language, don't know anyone (on a personal/intimate level), and don't have many resources (ex. money and transportation).

First, take a deep breath. As bad as you may feel right now, remind yourself that regardless of what happens, this situation is TEMPORARY. Whether it's in a few days or a few months, you'll be back home and will be able to move on from this experience, regardless of whether it ends up being a good or bad experience.

Second, since you don't have many options for how to spend your free time, this may be the perfect opportunity for you to truly REFLECT on what you want to accomplish. You said you did this once before (moving on a whim) and that it turned out to be a bad experience. Think about what pushed you to make these two decisions. What is it you really want out of life? Come up with some clear goals, and perhaps you'll stop making decisions on a whim, as you'll have a very strict sequence of events to follow. Some people don't know what they want - they just know they don't want what they have now, so they blindly change things up, hoping their situation will improve. That's obviously not going to cut it for you, short- or long-term.

Finally, once you have a "plan of attack," figure out what your next step is toward accomplishing your goals. Maybe you'll discover staying where you are is exactly what you need to do. Maybe you'll discover going home immediately is what you need to do. Maybe you'll discover going home, saving money, and waiting for the opportunity to go to a different country is what you need to do. Only you can decide what's right or wrong in this situation... and in order to make that decision, you'll need to do a lot of reflecting.

Good luck! Feel free to keep posting here if you want more support/advice. =)

Hey there,

Can you try talking to your host family and ask them to include you in more activities? I know it feels like they aren't accepting of you but maybe they are just trying to let you get adjusted and don't want to push anything on you. It is possible that if you were to talk to them about you concerns and you desires to meet people and stuff like that they would be willing to help you with that. They offered to host you so they must know that that included showing you around their country and helping you meet people and stuff like that. Try befriending them because I am sure they would be willing to accept you. This is probably a new experience for them too so all of you can learn together.

I think it would also be beneficial if you could try and talk to your family on a more normal basis. I know you have reasons why you haven't been contacting them as much but I think if you had a schedule in regards to talking to them it would help with the adjustment.

I really hope that this helped and if you need anything please feel free to message me.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

I agree with what the above two posters are saying. I am so sorry that you are having a tough/hard time right now. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this. I used to know someone who was in the exact same position you are in now. Have you tried sitting down with your host family and talking to them about your feelings/thoughts on everything that is happening to you right? If not, I highly suggest you try to do it now before the situation gets any worse. Communication is a key factor in situations like this. If there is no communication at all, then the situation will just keep getting worse and worse. That's why you need to have an open line of communication between you and your host family.

Just like what Robin (PSY) has said, this situation is only temporary, meaning, it won't last forever. In time, the situation will get a whole lot better.

I hope this helps you out some. Please stay strong and never give up hope.