Triggering (Abuse): My little sister is getting bullied because of a medical condition?

[Skull candy]

My little sister Bekii is 13 years old, she was abused by our dad, her mind has basiclly gone back to a babies, she has been fully diagnosed and the doctor says its common in traumatic experiences like this, she has no control over her bladder or bowels and is treated like any average toddler. But these kids really get on my nerves when they snicker and point at her, it upsets her and often leads to a tantrum. My dad has really messed her up in the head and she is afraid of alot of people especially guys. I try and explain it to her that these kids are bullies but its hard to explain it to her and it gets her really upset, one time she hit one of the kids and I had to pay a fine because the parents of the kid sued us. So How do I sort this out???Thanks in advance.

[WhisperingSilence]

can you not speak to the school shes at ? and get the teachers to deal with the bullies ?

[Unknown10]

Hi there

I'm sorry to hear that your sister is being bullied. I'd recommend speaking to your sisters tutor at school, or her head of year about this as it is obviously making her very upset. If they do not solve the problem then maybe move her to a different school would be a next step.

There is not much you can do about the fine; however in future I'd suggest letting people know about your sister's difficulties if they do decide to take it further; they may understand. If you live with your mother, I recommend letting her know and asking her to sort out the problem with the bullies.

I hope this helps. Feel free to PM me anytime if you need anything at all.

Take Care.

[NonIndigenous]

It's nice to see you caring like that for her.

Speak to relevant school staff about her, try to explain the situation, even though it's personal and might be difficult. You might want to be careful what exactly you say to who though, teachers can be real assholes too. If there are any specific kids bothering her, maybe you could also talk to their parents and try to explain the problem. Again maybe not tell the full story in case it gets "exploited"... you have to sniff out if who you're talking to might just be an asshole and doesn't care.

I think you need to get her a psychologist. You talking to her is good, and probably helps, but she is genuinely traumatized by what happened... and a professional would probably do a better job as she would know how to deal with this kind of stuff better from experience. You say she's scared of men/boys, so obviously it's better to find a female psychologist. Maybe there are some available through the school for free? You'd have to look into that yourself. It depends where you live obviously. In the UK there are things like this available.

I hope she gets better at some point.

[Skull candy]

shes already talking to a psychologist, but she doesn't really talk, all she does it play, they call it play therapy.

[CrimeStopper]

Everyone is right. The school should be aware of the bullies. You would be surprised some of the things that can happen to bullies if the right people know that it's going on. So yes you should tell someone at the school that she talks to the most or even the principal about these bullies. No matter what the issue going on these bullies need to be reported. That right there can fully help your sister. You are being her advocate and voice that she doesn't have.

Also this is nothing that can you control. But you could possible tell the school your thoughts and your sure your parents. But maybe if you sister is functioning at the age of a toddle she should be in the special ed classes. Now there is many reasons as to why children are in special ed, not just for the reason that everyone may think. But if she were in a special ed class the curriculum would be taught more at her level that she can understand. Which in return would let her succeed better academically. It's also getting her around the kids that are more at her level of functioning. Lots of children with Autism and learning disabilities (which if your sister is functioning at a toddler then that is sort of a learning disability for her age) will be in special ed classes. Maybe that would help her. It may not stop the bullies but it would separate her from them for a certain amount of time. But maybe her level of self-esteem could be higher being around people who understand her better that she wont let the bullies bother her as much. Or maybe she should totally switch schools to a more specialized learning school.

I would be very careful about letting others know about her medical issues. She's at a prime age of thirteen that kids start teasing the worst. Even though shes at a toddler level you need to think how it may make her feel if you tell people. That and they may even tease her more if they know more about her. It seems by what you said that it's apparent that she has medical problems. I guess I personally really don't see the point in telling more about them to others. Some of your sisters problems should really just stay within the family. But you should continue to stick up for her like you have been. She's very lucky to have such a caring big bother like you.