Triggering (Abuse): Bullying his brother. Not sure what to do

[Nick17dick]

I recently was at my friends house.
Jacob: 15 Years old
Dylan: 10 years old

Dylan and his friends were watching tv when Jacob and I came in.

Jacob: Dylan you idiot, it’s our turn for the tv
Dylan: we just got here
Jacob: yeah right little dude(grabs remote)
Dylan: hey (lunges toward Jacob)
Jacob: I wouldn’t do that

Jacob the proceeds to grab Dylan putting him in a headlock and hits him in the Nuts

[Everglow.]

Hey,

First of all I think it is really great that you are looking out for your friend and his brother.

I am sorry that you had to see that happen though. Perhaps you could talk to Jacob about what happened and let him know that you are uncomfortable about it and concerned. I think as a friend it's a good thing to be able to bring up things you're unhappy about especially if it is done in a genuine way. You could also check in with Dylan to make sure he is okay. He may appreciate you looking out for him and feel he can talk to you about these things in the future if there is the need.

If you are really worried about it you can also talk to your friends parents about this. Bullying is never okay so if you feel like this is happening, perhaps Jacob and Dylans parents can help to put an end to it by intervening.

I would say to a certain extent, siblings do bicker and argue. My sister and I used to argue about who got to pick what was on the TV all the time, and sometimes we'd say mean things, get upset etc. This shouldn't stop you from having their best interests in mind though, so I would definitely suggest opening up a conversation with them about this.

I hope this helps a bit!

[Mallika]

Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out! I agree with Everglow that it's commendable that you're looking out for your friend and his brother. It's no doubt disturbing to witness an older sibling abuse a younger sibling.

A lot of siblings fight physically - especially in their growing-up years. My sister used to scratch me so much that I had scars on my arms for a long time, but we're really close now. However, in this case, you're right to sense that Jacob is taking advantage of his older sibling status to exert dominance over Dylan. Physical abuse of any kind should not be tolerated.

Evidently, witnessing this episode is weighing on your mind. You could talk to Jacob about this, since he's your friend. It doesn't hurt to say "Hey, I've been thinking about what happened at your house the other day. I don't think it was cool what you did to your brother. He's just a kid." (or something along those lines). In essence, you're standing up for what's right.

I also agree with Everglow's other suggestions, especially about checking in with Dylan so that he knows you're approachable. If you feel it is appropriate, it also helps to speak with Jacob's parents.

Thank you for looking out for others! You're really making a difference.