Triggering (Bullying): I am being bullied on a texting application for the littlest of very minor reasons, and I feel like I am a bad person

[It is 57 below zero]

I recently became a member of kik messenger, which is an alternative way to text people.

But anyway, I have tried finding many friends on it, elsewhere, where people list their usernames, and who are looking for friends on it, and it seems that many of the people there don't seem to accept me or like me either.

Most people on there have made me feel bad about myself by insulting me or saying bad things about me, and making complaints about my age, race, and gender and not wanting to talk to me because of it, even if they are looking for friends to talk to on the application.

Also, people have cursed me out, abandoned me, or even blocked me and I didn't even do anything at all to deserve it, and if a person leaves me or blocks me on it, I feel like I don't have anyone to go to about it to get things sorted out.

Like there was one person that blocked me only because I changed my display name on it (and it wasn't even bad or offensive at all, my display name just mentioned something about feeling alone and depressed), and many others that ignore me within a few weeks.

And there was also a person on there that said that she would be there for me, like in the beginning of May, and said she liked me more than a friend, and things like that, but again, within 2-3 weeks, she left me and ignored me despite reading my texts...and she promised she basically loved me and it breaks my heart that someone would break a promise like that if I hadn't even said anything bad.

This, again, has caused me to self harm like this week, because it seems like almost no one likes me or will accept me so I feel like I am just a terrible person. I ended up crying a lot this weekend, and one of my teachers passed away last week also which made me twice as depressed. I am still being bullied online for 6+ months and I wish I could do whatever I could to become acceptable by society.

The teacher I was talking about was actually one of few that I felt somewhat comfortable talking to about certain things, and now I have no one to talk to about this either...and not only do I find the behavior in a lot of the students at my school to be atrocious but many of them don't even like me or accept me so I literally have no one, and a kid at my school makes jokes about my self harm and he won't stop despite me telling him to stop, and nearly cursing him out.

I am hurting right now...and I don't know what to do. Because it seems like when I make one petty minor mistake, I get blocked from a friend, for the rest of my life, or someone gets seriously ticked off about it. and it seems like my age and gender and stuff seems to be an issue with so many people and that hurts me seriously bad. I feel like I am a bad person.

[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

It's really not right that thy are going to say that they want friends and then go off and block you. It's not right that nobody is going to accept you, because from what I see, you are not doing anything wrong. Block any bullies that you see, and maybe try sites and services that are more moderated, because that way you are less likely to encounter any type of bullying (especially if it's an accepting site like TH). Also, if you got somewhere moderated, if you ARE bullied, you can report it and it will be quickly taken care of so you don't have to deal with it anymore.

I know it may not seem it now, but there WILL be people out there that love and care about you. You just haven't found the right person, but they are out there!

I totally know how you feel about a teacher passing away. My teacher passed away in July and it was really hard on me. Remember that this teacher wouldn't want you to feel sad. Your teacher would want you to do really good for them, they would want you to try your hardest and never give up.

Perhaps you can join some clubs and social groups in school or around town. That way at least the people you'll be talking to will have a common interest, and maybe that'll help?

These things DO NOT make you a bad person though. You can't help your age, gender, or race. None of that is in your control, and why should you be hated or deemed a bad person for things that aren't even in your control?

Self harm won't help this though. It won't make any of your problems go away. It just ends up making them worse when you have to worry about people seeing them and commenting, or the risk of infection. Then you still have the problems. I really recommend trying to find another adult such as a teacher or guidance counselor and speaking to them.



-Dez

Hey there,

I agree that going to a site that has a moderating team, such as teenhelp, would probably be a better idea then going to a site that doesn't. If you go to a site that has moderation it would enable you to report the people who are bullying you and, hopefully, help you work on getting some type of resolution to the problem. Also, if you are being bullied it would be a good idea to block the people that are bullying you so that you don't have to deal with them any longer.

I know how hard it can be to feel as though you don't have anyone that cares about you but I believe that with time you will find people who care about you. Right now you might not have found those people but they are out there you just have to hang in there until you work towards finding those people.

I know that self harm seems like the answer to your problems but in the end it will only make things worse. You are harming yourself and you don't deserve to be harmed in that way. I think it would be a really good idea for you to reach out to someone about your self harm so that you can work on finding a resolution to your problems and work on getting to a better place.

I really hope that this helped and if you need anything please feel free to message me.

[Its.Just.Angie]

hi

Sorry to hear about the bullying. The main reason is that is way much easier to bully someone online or on kik cause they protected by a screen name. Making it way harder to get caught with the bullying and also on kik it is not moderated and no one knows about the bullying. The best way to get ride of them is just blocking them.

Feel free to PM/VM me if you have any questions

[It is 57 below zero]

I would also like to know, is there any way to prevent people getting away with racist or sexist behavior on there, period? Because it isn't okay, and in some cases, discrimination is even illegal, and it hurts my feelings when people don't play fair.