Triggering: Friend was murdered and her funeral is coming up,

[Palmolive]

Hey.

So my friend's daughter was murdered a few months back. They have only just released the body and the funeral is Tuesday. My sister is going, I am not. I wasn't as close to H as my sister was but the story is so sad. Her mum (my friend) has anorexia and her dad killed himself, her sister has anorexia and her daughter H had anorexia and even went to London for two years in The morsley to start getting better. She came back here in the summer so much better and then she was murdered.

And it is on my mind. I feel so bad for them all. And I have lost four other people in the past so many years so it makes me think of them, especially my best friend Josie who killed herself while we were in-patient together and it just seems unreal. It's bringing a lot back to me and I am also worried about how my sister is going to cope with the funeral. And urghhh.

I don't know. It's just really sad and upsetting and brings so much back. She didn't deserve that. At all.

[hocus pocus]

I am really sorry, that's terrible. It must be hard knowing that she did all that work on herself to become healthier and then someone took her life away. I am glad that she got a chance to work on herself before she died, though.

It's understandable that this is bringing up a lot for you since you've lost a lot of people in the last few years. Losing someone is never easy. It is nice of you to worry about your friend and her family during such a difficult time, but if worrying about it is making you struggle too much, maybe you can take a few steps back for a while.

I think it would help if you had a safe person, or safe people to lean on while all of these feelings and other things are coming back to the surface for you. Can you lean on your sister, your mom or anyone else you trust? You can always lean on us, too. So you don't have to do this alone.

In the meantime while feelings are so intense it could help to take it one day at a time, or an hour at a time, or however long feels right and manageable for you.

Take care of yourself.