TeenHelp - Moving on is hard.

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Moving on is hard.

I just really feel the need to make a post about this. When I was younger from the ages 14-18 I was heavily involved in my church. I still live by my Christian faith even though I’ve backslidden a little. But, with all the hardships I struggled through at home, my church life was like my escape. I was supposed to be home-schooled all through high-school. So, you could imagine how introverted/isolated I was.
I had this dream last night that I was back at my old church. But, it was much bigger, and kind of re-modeled. I was there for a wedding, and all of my old church friends were there. Even my ex boyfriend, and his new wife & baby. In this dream I didn’t feel welcome, and I found myself waking up feeling grief all over again for those relationships that I’ve lost due to fall-outs. Maybe I should find a new church now that I’m established into good place in life again. Any advice?

Re: Moving on is hard.

Hello,

When we are younger and we are going to church or doing something all of the time and now that we are older we can miss that feeling of doing that everyday and enjoying this as well. You can still go to your church if you would like to. Dreams are us thinking about everything and something that we used to do or we are doing that right now and we are thinking about this so much that we start to dream about it. It just means that this is on your mind a lot and that is okay. If you would like to go back to your church, go and ask your friends that you used to hang out with if they would like to do something with you. Go and get some coffee or breakfast or lunch or dinner or play games together or have a movie night or something else that you all enjoy doing together and have fun. I hope everything will be okay for you.

Re: Moving on is hard.

Hi there, thanks for reaching out! I'm glad you decided to write about this, because it sounds like it's weighing heavily on your mind. I want to begin by saying the dream you had — the general sort where you are back at a place that once meant a lot to you, and you see the familiar faces you once loved so much; but the vibe just isn't what it used to be — is very common!

Sometimes dreams can be formed from actively conscious thoughts in our waking hours or it can occur spontaneously, leading us to actively think about it during our waking hours. I would take a step back and ask yourself if you want to get involved in the Church.

You said you've moved away from it, but still maintain your Christian faith. I would ask yourself “Do my beliefs still align with the Church? Would I be accepted or ostracized by the congregation for my beliefs? Would the same thing happen at a new church like it had with my previous one when I was younger?” I think it’s important to understand this: it’s perfectly fine to have your adjusted beliefs, but not necessarily be involved in the Church.

But being part of a congregation is a social outing, and you’d be amongst those with the same beliefs as you. It’s perfectly understandable why you’d want to get back to it, especially if being at Church was such an important part of your identity when you were younger!

If you want that community connection again, but don't feel comfortable returning to your old church, then I would suggest looking into finding a new place to call 'home'. Hopefully you find one that's right for you and you're able to form new bonds like the one you've had at your previous church. Wishing you the best of luck. :hug: