No sibling

[Dread]

To have at least one sibling... it never really bothered me, I liked being the only child.. until now.. when I see that all of my friends have a sibling.. it just makes me feel depressed. I'm tired getting back to silent home, starting to lose motivation for everything.. and it's just starting to get really tough.. knowing that it is something I cannot change.. and that I will not have someone to understand family problems, be there when I'll grow up.. my mental health has been really down this week, all because of this thought..

[Chris]

Hey there. I am very sorry to hear you have been having a hard time struggling with this. I myself have a few siblings, but we are not very close, and we are so apart in age, that I don't even remember much of them during childhood. By the time I was 8, both of my siblings were already out of the house permanently. So while I do have siblings, I can certainly relate to you on another level: Not having a good relationship with them. From age 8-18, it almost certainly felt as if I was an only child. Most of my friends, similar to yours, had tons of siblings of all ages, and just seemed "happier".

The issue you bring up, can be related back in many different things and examples. For example, you see the same scenario with someone whose family has not much money, but they go to a private school with families who have a lot. You see this with kids who are really good at athletics, but maybe you're not. You see this when you turn 16 (assuming you live in the U.S) and you use a shared car to get around but then friends of yours get a brand new car to themselves. You see this when your whole friend group is in romantic relationships, but you're not. There will ALWAYS be items to relate to others, where you feel you are getting the "bad end of the stick".

I wish I could say this is only during High School, but you will run into scenarios like this through your entire life. College, your first major job, future relationships, etc. This isn't a "it always happens to ME" thing, everyone experiences this throughout there life. However everyones "relations" and "comparisons" will be different. You can't change the fact that you have no siblings, but you can learn to spin it to be a positive rather than a negative. If you speak to some of your friends, I guarantee you some will say "man, I wish I was an only child". Isn't that funny? Isn't it funny that we are humans seem to never be happy with what WE have, and we always compare to what we DON'T have?

Back to your question at hand. While you know you can't ever have a sibling at this point, you CAN build yourself a good support group. Someone who CAN grow up with you. Someone who WILL understand the family issues. These people are called Friends. You may not have them in high school, or in college, but at some point you will find and connect to some pretty stellar people. After many years of friendship and experiences with these people, you will find that they are basically your siblings, just not by blood.

Continue to take care of yourself and your mental health. Be open to new experiences. new groups, new versions of yourself. When you look back in 3-5 years, you may be shocked with how far you've made it. Who knows? Maybe you'll be so well off that you look at yourself and say "Man, I am so glad that I'm an only child".

Best wishes,
Chris