Triggering (Grieving): My Mom

[Resilient]

My mom isn’t doing good. Because of COVID. They are going to put her on a ventilator this evening if she doesn’t get good lab work results. She’s scared and I can’t go in the ICU to see and comfort her because of the COVID. I just don’t know what to do in this situation. I’ve been trying to be strong and keeping everything together. She made me the final decider on her health if she becomes incapacitated so once they vent her I take charge of her well-being. I’m scared. I mean, I know her wishes and I will follow through with them but if the time comes to say goodbye I’m going to be so upset. I wish I could do something for her, but I can’t even video chat or call her because she can’t talk from all of the oxygen she’s on. This is huge and I am just having a hard time with it.

We think that my sister got it from work, because she works at the hospital as a housekeeper on the covid unit, and passed it on to mom. This is horrible because she feels terrible. I’ve explained to her though that she didn’t do it on purpose but she still feels bad.

Dad is sick too and he isn’t able to help with anything so it has been up to me to keep us afloat. I took leave from work and my sister is going to try to go back to work but because my mom is in the hospital she works at she isn’t sure if she can.

Please keep me and my family in your thoughts, and if you believe, prayers. We need all the support we can get.

[DeletedAccount53]

I'm deeply sad for you and will keep you and your family in best thoughts and prayers.


Both Julie and I had Covid, but she nearly died, so I exactly understand how you are feeling. Watching helplessly as my identical twin's life lay in the balance was a dreadfully dark time for me, so I softly*hug* you, I will remember you.

[Rivière]

That's absolutely huge! I sincerely hope that your mum doesn't have to be put on a ventilator. I can't imagine what she's going through right now. I can't imagine what you must be feeling either. There's so much weight on your shoulders trying to keep everything together and being strong for your family, and for yourself.

You could see if you could video call her, but without her having to say anything. I expect staff at the hospital will be extremely busy, but maybe you could see if a nurse could lend a hand in maybe setting something up for her so that she can at least see you. She must be feeling very lonely and isolated, it would do her some good to have somebody be there for her, even if she can't talk back. Even if it's just for a couple of minutes to know you're thinking of her.

[ladoglover]

I'm so sorry you are dealing with such big adult issues when you should be having your own life and not be this stressed at such a young age. Being a care taker is a hard thing and taking on the responsibility of having to pay the bills for the family seems tough as well. Unfortantly that's what sucks when family member have some one living in the home that works in the medical field is that there more likely to get it and spread it to there family.

I know it will be hard. If you and your sister could take extra precautions do you think that would help no one else in your home from getting covid? Just offering suggestions not judging. Like as soon as you get home shoes off and sprayed with Lysol, wash hands with sanitizer , straight to the laundry room undress and put clothes in washer every time you come home from work which is obsessive I know but may help, wash hands with soap and water then hand sanitizer after, wear a mask at all times in the house, for eating try to sit as far away as possible from family members, lysol your bathroom every time you leave the bathroom.

I can only imagine the stress you are under. I know you might not have money for therapy but just wanted to say even having a therapist you see only once a month is better than nothing. You are dealing with a lot and you are carrying so much on your shoulders that you really need a therapist a place you can go to just unload your shoulders for an hour, vent and cry to release it all so it doesn't just build up. I know better help sucks. I have heard bad things about it. Better help is cheap though and its really good just for people that need to vent. So could look in to that. Seems venting getting those feelings out having a release would help during this time.

I do believe there is a season for everything in that right now things may seem hopeless and you might not be able to go back to school right now like you wanted to but one day you will be able to.

You have a lot on your shoulders. I know we have not got along in the past. I seriously am not a bad person. I hope we can be friends and get to the point where you reach out to me for help sometimes or just talk but I doubt that will ever happen. Your so young and dealing with so much already when you deserve your own life and to have your own family. I wish I could be there in person to be your friend to help you through this and give you my shoulder to cry on.

I hope your mom gets better. Covid really sucks. That's why we all really have to do are part and not go out a lot. I am so sorry this is happening. Your mom is so young its sad to see such a life gone too soon. Most people live till 80 or 90. Hopefully she recovers and gets well.

Thinking of you and your family during this time.

[Everglow.]

This is so awful, I'm so sad to hear your mum isn't doing well. I can't imagine how hard this must be on your family, and of course your sister who understandably feels awful about this. You're completely right in that it's not her fault and obviously things are unpredictable and terrifying at the moment. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and hoping she gets better. I know it's hard but remember, the treatment they're giving her is to help and as scary as it looks and sounds, people recover on a far greater scale than they don't. Try and stay positive if you can (which is hard, I know), and know that you can always come here if you need to talk. Praying your mum and family feel better soon.