Do friends hug and kiss each other?

[Jennaholt]

A bit of history. We met on a dating app, started talking a lot, and then ended up having a very sexual relationship. But he needed me to be his friend and the sex was too distracting so we ended that relationship, decided to talk more and be friends.

He started seeing this girl right around when we broke things off. A casual thing. Nothing serious. He has a crush on her but she doesn't feel the same way. And there's no future there.

We've been talking and we met today after quite a bit of time. It was raining and the weather was very cold. So he hugged me and didn't really let go. And then he kept kissing my cheek. Not once or twice, continuous pecks all over my cheeks every now and then. And then he laid on my thighs and kept looking at me. I asked him what it was, and he said "I'm looking at you because I like you." Which I assume he meant in a non-romantic way. And I asked him whether it's weird for friends to be so physical. And he said all those kisses were out of adoration and not sexual in nature. When he dropped me back, he gave me few more pecks and he wanted one back. He said I'm a special friend of his and also said "we'll see where this goes."


I was not feeling uncomfortable. But I was only wondering if this was normal for friends to do. (And when I asked him, he said it feels normal and that since our relationship had been very physical in the beginning, this is the equation the two of us have.)
And also, friendships don't "go anywhere." Friends are just friends. Am I missing something here?

[Hero]

Friends sometimes do hug and kiss but it sounds like something more is happening. It sounds like he wants to go out with you or something among those lines. You should confront him about this.

Ps. This is just what I think it might not be like this

It really depends on the friendship. Personally I'm a big fan of supporting platonic intimacy. However, that needs really clear boundaries and that sounds like that might not be what's happening here, especially with the "let's see where it goes" part. I think you're right to be confused and, seemingly, a little wary of this newfound physical affection.

It sounds like y'all both may be a bit confused by what you want. I suggest having a clear talk about boundaries in which you both state how you feel and what you want/need from this friendship. Some people think you don't need to talk things out in a friendship like you do in a romantic relationship, but friendships are still relationships, and all relationships require clear communication. I know it might be scary to put yourself out there but I think if y'all can resolve this your friendship will be much more enjoyable with much clearer boundaries.

Good luck and PM me if you need anything.

[Mallika]

Hi there,

Thanks for your query! In my opinion, his behaviour doesn't seem like one reflective of a friend with whom you're in a platonic friendship. It seems to me that he has started having feelings for you again, especially since he mentioned how he likes you and his actions of continuously pecking your cheeks.

It's good that you've asked him about this. It could be that he's still in the process of rationalising his feelings for you, but he seems to want to re-consider bringing the relationship to a more-than-friends level (just my opinion). Or he might be considering the prospect of the both of you being in a friends-with-benefits relationship.

Like the other users have said, it's probably best to have a talk with him about this. This way, you can both get an opportunity to bring out your feelings towards (and expectations for) this relationship and for each other.