Argument with my parents

[Effy2018]

So my parents keep making sly digs at me about stuff. This time its because I want to study English Literature at either college or university. They don't think its a good subject but I love reading and such. I have stacks of books that I still need to get through. They keep saying that I would fail the course and that I wouldn't be able to get in because I am thick.

[Celyn]

Sorry to hear that your parents are making negative comments regarding your desire to study English and saying that you would fail, even calling you 'thick'.

Our parents should want what's best for us, and should be encouraging and supportive of us, even if they opinions might disagree with what we are doing. In some ways, your parents calling you thick might be emotionally abusive as it's obviously going to upset you.

Try to ignore your parents and focus on your love for the subject. You might want to limit the time you talk with your parents about wanting to study English, if you feel it's going to cause tensions to rise. Do you have other supportive people in your life you can talk to instead? If not, don't forget you've always got TeenHelp

[Mallika]

Hi Michaela,

Thank you so much for reaching out. I'm sorry that you're having to go through this, it can get really stifling when parents don't understand your passion in a certain area. I've been through what you've had to go through, so I can give you a few tips.

First off, it is natural for both parties to feel indignant or skeptical towards each other, just as you're feeling now. The best way to resolve this is to sit down and speak to them. You mentioned that they have been making digs at your; it could be that they have not understood the depth of your passion for this subject. So tell them that you'd like to talk to them seriously about your future education.

Before you talk to them, you can think of how you can show them that you are serious about wanting to study English Literature. There's this saying "show, not tell," so if you have some things you can show to them, perhaps some prose/poetry you've written, or even some university courses you've looked into and are keen on applying to, that would be good.

Be patient with them, and ask them if they might have any questions/queries. You mentioned that they think you are "thick" - perhaps you could tell them that people of all kinds of personalities can have a love for language and appreciation for literature? Regarding them telling you that you wouldn't do well and all, you can convince them that you'll work hard and try your best because you truly want to study this course.

I know how difficult it can be to convince parents about a certain career path... I'm the first girl in my family of government job and corporate/bank employees to decide to study a STEM field (genetics). My parents didn't even know it was a career path one could fruitfully pursue, and since day 1, were concerned about me ever getting a job. It has taken me many attempts at making them understand my career path, telling them what genetics is, its applications, the different career opportunities, etc. Even today, after many years, my mom keeps sarcastically hinting "Maybe you could go into teaching," (because she's a teacher) though I have repeated told her that I don't see myself in that profession. I get what you're going through, but don't let that ever stop you. I repeat, don't let that deter you from following your passion.

It will require some effort on your part, and sometimes you might need to diplomatically point out some things to them (e.g. "If only you could support me and not put me down.") But let me assure you that, like Holly said, if your passion for this field is strong enough, nobody can stop you. Alluding back to what I mentioned about "show, not tell", if your parents see that you're undaunted by their taunts and remarks, they'll realise that you're truly passionate about what you want to do.

Good luck, and feel free to DM me if you have any queries!

[Dawn.]

Hello there,

I am sorry to hear about the argument between you and your parents. If you wish to study English Literature, than by all means do it! No-one should tell you you can't do something. If you would like to, talk to your parents and let them know how much passion you have for English Literature. I hope this helped.

[Effy2018]

Thanks for all of the advice guys. I have spoken to my parents in more depth about studying and they now understand why I want to do it. And they are also being really supportive that I want to be streamer too. I hope this is the end of the arguments and that we can start getting along again.

[DeletedAccount53]

I hope and pray your fam will really see how well, how brill you can be studying English Literature and if you can enter uni or go to college, then you will progress. The harder way I did was study at our town's library, but if you get to uni one day, you may be able to qualify to teach. That would hvae been what I'd have preferred, but my fam tend to travel around too much, and that was highly disrupting for me.


Now your fam can understand a lot more, show them that Journalism could be a career, even publishing if you get a degree in English, or academia; advertising, marketing, even careers in law (if you're a brainiac ) or even public office.


If the will and the determination is there, you will do it.


And good luck!