My Parents Are Getting Divorced! Help Needed!

[JaguarGirl306]

Hi There Everyone,

My Parents Have Been Fighting An Awful Lot In The Past Year Or So. A Week Ago, My Parents Announced They're Getting A Divorce. My Dad Will Move To Thunder Bay, ON And I Will Be Moving To A Smaller House With My Mom And Older Sister. They Told Me They Still Love Me And My Sister Very Much, But They Do Not Love Each Other Anymore. I Am So Sad That I Won't Get To See My Dad Much Anymore. How Can Anyone Help???

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello Tabitha,

Welcome to Teenhelp! You did a great job telling us about what you are going through and I am so sorry that you are having a hard time with this right now and hope that you will be alright soon.

Try to always remember that your parents will always love you and your sister. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. If you have a computer or a phone you can download Skype on them and then you can talk with your dad if he downloads it also. Or you can call him or text him or email him or ask if you can get his address and write him a letter and then you can talk to him. I know that this is not the same way as sitting down next to him and talking with him, but maybe one or a few of of these can help you so you can still talk to your dad.

Ask your mom if she can help you to talk to someone to help you out with this. It can be a therapist or a counselor and you can talk to them and they can help you so that you will be okay soon. When you go to school and ask if you can talk to the school counselor and let them know that you are having a hard time and they can talk to you also. Or talk to your teacher and let them know what is going on and they can talk to you too.

Also try to find somethings that you can do to get your mind off of this for a while, playing with your sister or watching a movie or a funny TV show or playing a game or if you like drawing or reading or anything else that you like to do and try doing that for a little bit so it can help pick you up for a little bit. I hope that you will be okay soon. Sending you Hugs.

Hi Tabitha, welcome to TeenHelp!

I'm so sorry to hear your parents are getting divorced, and that isn't something a child just beginning adolescence should have to go through. But think of it like this, at least your parents are separating so they don't have to put you and your sister through more hardships by continuing to live together.

I imagine you are really going to miss your father, with him being hundreds of miles away. However, do you know if your parents are arranging visitation for him with you and your sister? I would ask your parents about that, and express the concerns you have about not seeing your father as frequently as you have been.

Also, since your sister is going through the same thing, I would definitely reach out to her. I don't know how old she is, but I'm sure she would be more than happy to be your support system while your parents are going through their divorce proceedings.

If you need to reach out again at any time in the future, do not hesitate to do so.

Best of luck.

[Latte]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. A number of my friends parents went through a divorce at some point during my childhood and teenaged years. It's painful and difficult. One thing to remember is that you're not going through this alone. One of my friends told me how it sucked because she felt like she didn't have a family any more. Later her dad remarried to another woman and she ended up with step sisters and seemed to enjoy it more. So eventually you'll be able to adjust to the new normal.

Like has been suggested, talk to your sister because she's going through this. Plus, I'd recommend looking for resources online (e.g. mediation and family counselling) because it might be worth it to access those resources with your family if your family is able to afford it. Many Canadian cities have these services offered for free or at low cost. It sucks to have to be the one to initiate this since you're just a kid, but I think it's a really good idea to navigate these tough transitions with a therapist